h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The S*T*A*T*S Security Centre is guarded by a formidable series of security devices making it practically impossible for and SPA member to infiltrate it without being inventive, patient, clever and devious*

*Jogging lightly Red Dog arrives slightly breathless at the security Centre with a bruised nose and an unau hanging around him pinning his arms to his side. He walks up to the command chair where BBW is seated*

My nobe ib a bib sore BBW. Do you hab a plabster and can you ged thid unau ob my bag pleabe ? I wab addagged wibout a chance

*enters the room*

reporting for duty, sah

*enters the room*

reporting for duty, sah

Ooooooo, Unau removal is a tough one. Um, I wonder if they like marshmallows.

*rips open a bag of marshmallows and waves one under the nose of the unau.*

Here, uny, uny, uny.

*Holds marshmallow on the ground next to Red Dog.*

Ib nob moving ... bud I fancy a marbmallow myselb

*getting bored by hanging on Red Dog's back*

*climbs down*

*stares fascinatedly at werewolf, never having seen one before*

*sniffs at marshmallows, hardly believing his luck*

*hastily gulps a few down before anyone can stop him*

*carbo-loads*

ok so i have no idea whats going on here. so much so that ive started to talk like, yuh, im from SoCal. like, whatever.

Hey I think we got ourselves a pet

*starts tap-dancing frenetically*

*soon tapping away all over the place; floor, ceiling, walls, furniture, control board*

*those watching realize - too late - why unau-owning people usually keep them on a strict diet of greens*

*As the unau dances across the keyboard, there are sounds of explosions outside, machine guns and the distinct sound of drool bombs going off.*

Quick, open the door and put a trail of marshmallows leading out.

*shakes fist at UH*

only people from the Valley talk like that!

*opens door - throws marshmallows outside - slams door shut*


*thinks*


*opens door - throws unau outside - slams door shut*

*quite baffled at suddenly finding himself outside the door*

*doesn't ponder too long, not after seeing all the marshmallows that are keeping him company*

*shuffles marshmallows into mouth, gulps them down*

*carbo-loads*

like whatever. dude.

*a swarm of wasps burst into the security center and begin to build a hive in one of the corners*

*sniggers to himself when he sees the swarm of wasps fly in*

*thinking it servs them right for throwing him out*

*has a sudden energy-boost from the marshmallows*

*disappears as a brown flash*

*Looks at Wasps*

*looks at the jam sandwich he's just started eating*

*places jam sanswich in Uncles pocket*

*wasps smell something sugary and start to swarm around uncle's head*

red dog = .