h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*WM takes the contract from Mog, passes through the door and passes it back to the next one in line, humming the tune along with the others.*

.

*GL takes the contract, walks through the door and passes the contract back to the next one in line. He tries to hum the tune, but keeps missing notes and making noises that sound suspiciously like howls.*

*The ISO 9000 Monster patiently waits for all of the heroes to enter so that he can begin tearing them apart through the proper procedures*

[YK] [still singing] I sense some bad guys, bad guys, bad guys ...

* the penguin waddles through, passing the contract back, and hides behind a large wastepaper bin *

[YK impulsively arms his lightsaber and moves it in a position whereby anything that happens to jump at him from that direction (the wrong one, incidentally) will slice itself in half]

*Affy is suspiciously looking at a large filing cabinet that seems to be looming, ominously*

Is anyone not here yet?

[Janine] Everyone who's posted. [draws her katana, called Masamune]

Just make sure that Little Ampton goes through last.

*GL is busy reading a 6 inch thick Manual for Mortal Combat, that he found on a coffee table just inside the door.*

Hey guys, listen to this: "How to dispatch heroes after they have gained access." Yadda, yadda, yadda - here's the interesting part - "Above procedure may only be executed if the following condtions apply: 1) All heroes have entered the room. 2) All weapons have been properly requisitioned using form 870239875. 3) A Permit for Execution has been properly authorized. 4) Said heroes are free from any communicable illnesses."

You know, I think I feel a cold coming on

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* the penguin passes GL a handkerchief *

[YK] Hm. We COULD build a case whereby it means, "ALL heroes are free etc."

[Janine] And YK and I technically aren't part of CHOPPERS.

*as GL sneezes, a knife flies through the air towards him slicing the handkerchief handed to him neatly in half*


Due to RL Black might not be here as often as convenient for the adventure - therefore Krylma leader is allowed in certain limits to take control of her character if necessary.

* the penguin catches the knife and looks at it *

Penguin: Hmm, well that's not very sharp is it?

* he takes out his own very, very sharp knife and carves a big gouge out of the blade of the one that sliced the handkerchief. Within a few seconds, the knife is reduced to bits of metal on the floor *

Penguin: See? Useless.

You know, GL, that contract points out another loophole. It says that all heroes must be inside, right? Technically, the little ampton is a hero.

*Affy hears a wail of fright from inside a small pile of tax receipts*

[YK] [steeples his hands in a manner that, amazingly, has not been made a capital offense] Excellent...

[Janine] So we just get through this place ...

[Mackenzie] ... and on to the next place ...

[Mog] Kupo!

[YK] [under breath to Mackenzie] We have GOT to get Mog some dialogue!

[Mackenzie] [under breath to YK] Good luck! He thinks it's his duty to use lots of one-word sentences, and that every sentence he uses has to have "Kupo" thrown in there somewhere!

*Affy begins edging his way towards the exit door. Suddenly, four filing cabinets come to life! Two block the path to the exit, and the other two begin to march towards the heroes, ominously*

Crow-Oh, they aren't even *trying* to pretend that they didn't have enough money for real killer robots!

[Erm, MSTie? "DIDN'T" have...?]