h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Has backed up almost to the door.*

Okay, guys, on three. One...two....*takes a wild swipe at the Gobolds*...THREE!

*Dashes through the door, followed by the rat-ants and, hopefully, Zomnker and Gord.*

*Follows GL through the door and when everyone else is through, slaps the torc in the depression beside the door. The stone door swings shut with a thump and a crunch. The crunch comes from the Gobold arm that had been thrust into the opening. *

*Slides through the door way just before the door closes*

That was close!

*scampering up steps with rat-ants*

Phew! That was tough going. Thanks, guys.

*Heads up the steps and into the anteroom. Looks around.*

You know what I think we should do now?

*raises an eyebrow at Caer*

Did you happen to bring the tea things with you?

*picks up the small red carpet*

What a brilliant idea! I don;t why I didn't think of it first.

*unpacks the kit and soon gets a brew ready*

Help yourselves. Lets see what biscuits I have left......oh, Gipsy Creams, my favourite

*the small red carpet flips back and forth in Garius's hands, trying to get loose*

*underneath the carpet is a sort of plaque, with an inscription written on it*

*the inscription is in a strange alphabet*

*Amos sits down on the top step and pulls out a large red kerchief* I'm much obliged to you all for getting me out of that situation! Those little buggers must have popped out of a tunnel behind me cos I never heared them before they jumped me.

Young apprentice, you're doing a fine job if I do say so meself. Here. Time you started collecting yer own inventory.

*pulls a gold ring out of his pocket and hands it to GDZ* I pulled this offen one of the gobolds before they netted me up proper and hid it in my watchpocket. Stupid little monster thought he dropped it.

It makes your arm invisible when you put it on -- you wears it on yer fighting hand, needless to say!

*Helps himself to a Gypsy cream. Looks enviously at Zomnker's ring.*

Ooooooo! That should come in handy.

*Notices the carpet flapping.*

Hey! Look at this thing! It wants to get away.

Oh! And look! A plaque.

*Stares intently at the plaque....*

D**N YOU! D**N YOU ALL TO H**L!

/* During this strange and sudden outburst, points dejectedly at the small replica of the Statue of Liberty which has fallen off the flapping carpet and cracked, with the upper part lodged half buried in the sand on the floor. */

Sorry, I couldn't resist. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063442/quotes

GL, can you read that plaque?

*The gryphon doesn't wait to see Violets reaction to the hurled stone. Instead, it flies into the sky, aware from the snapping mutated venus flytrap*

You okay there, Violets?

That'll be a really useful ring!

*bends down to look at the inscription, and the carpet in Garius's hand whacks her on the side of the head*
*Zeppo tries to catch hold of one end*
Garius, I wonder if it can fly?

I recognise the script from that ship we did the dig on at Roswell. This is Galactic 4. I taught myself to pronounce the letters when we were on board Grace, but I haven't the faintest idea what it means.

*sips her tea and clears her throat*

Ooh Mah Sî Tah...

Hey! Thanks Amos!
*Places the ring into the most easily accessible zippered pocket he has.*

What now?

What we could use now is a Roswelletta stone.

*Listens to Lil's recitation.*

*Affy grows impatient just sitting in the middle of a bunch of ludicrously balanced playing cards. He suddenly remembers the two-way communication rings from the Roswell mission. Wondering why on Earth he doesn't just wear that thing constantly, he slips it onto his finger and activates it*


Hey, someone pick up! Listen, there's this really cool house of cards that you guys have gotta see. It just kinda fell into place during a battle with a gryphon....

It's so sad that that doesn't sound like a strange sentence anymore.

Anyway, is the fighting going well? I'm not sure how much longer this thing'll stand up, what with the wind and semi-frequent monster attacks.

*Violets slows down and then stops. As she looks around, a little blood dribbles down out of one of the flytraps. Then she notices the house of cards and a flytrap head bends down to peer inside*

*meanwhile, the gryphon has caught a thermal and is soaring higher. It gives a strange cry and is joined within a minute by several other gryphons, who bank and wheel over the clearing*



Miz Lil, has you got any of them greek pastries in your backpack? They would go well with tea.

*looks at the carpet in Garius's hands. It has stopped flapping and just flutters its tassels weakly* You can usually control magic by finding out what the thing wants. What would a carpet be wanting?

Carpet?


*Affy looks up at the gam of gryphons overhead*

I've gotta funny feeling about this....

*Ampton wakes up from where he was sleeping just then. He steps outside and looks up at the gryphons. He manages to perform his equivalent of a blink before waving hello to Violets and heading back in to relax*

Oh look - a whole flock of gryphons! Makes my Patron Saint of Mythical Characters beat...

Hey - Violets! Leave that house of cards alone!

*Affy reaches into his pocket, pulls out another Meegan salad shows it to an easily enticed Violets, and tosses it through the gaps in the house of cards well away from where he's sitting. Violets eagerly chases the meat-based salad-like product, totally ignoring her former aerial prey*

Hmmmmm. What would a carpet want?

Maybe it's dirty and wants to be beaten...

*Watches carpet to see its reaction.*

Or maybe it's clean and wants some dirt, or stains on it...

*GL sprinkles some biscuit crumbs on it.*

Or...maybe it wants to be laid in a comfortable place...


Don't we all?

*has been wearing her ring and now speaks to it* Affi, what was that about a gryphon in leotards? Listen, if I spell something out in Galactic, could you figure it out? We've found an inscription.

*to Garius* If I were a carpet, I'd want to be hung on the wall and admired as a work of art. I would never want to be walked on.

It's gone silent down there behind the door -- I hope those gobolds gave up. Are there any more biscuits? *digs out some wrapped mbougatses and hands some to Amos*