h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*finally being able to concentrate again after the disappearing of the gryphons*

The *what* studio?

Affy, Affy... calm down. Let's focus on one adventure at a time. At least in this thread, anyway.

*Turns towards the sound of several entities approaching, not yet in sight. Selects the slingshot setting on her nano-gun.*

*gobolds continue to pour out of the tunnel hatch. The king stands at the hatch issuing instructions to the soldiers, who fan out on 3 sides of the camp -- the 4th side being the cliff edge -- until about a hundred of the monsters surround the yurt*

[King} Happy Thanksgiving! Come feast with us.




*Amos sits down under a nearby tree, to get out of the sun and watch developments*

Affy, I think you'd better get out of that house of cards...

*calmly picks three arrows, bow at the ready, backing towards the edge of the cliff*

*Watches the others go without his sneezing. Shrugs. Rolls up the carpet, tucks it under his arm and follows the others.*

*the kobolds begin to tighten their ring, muttering and laughing unpleasantly*

*several of them have spotted the house of cards and are huffing and puffing, which their fellows find hilarious*

*the rat-ants draw their acid pistols*

Kobolds? Nobolds, if you ask me!

<fires three different coloured arrows, hastily picks three new ones*



*hoping to catch the attention of the gryphons while picking more arrows, now dangerously close to the cliff's edge*

Thanksgiving? Great! I hear Kobold tastes just like chicken.

*Re-sets her nano-gun for Microwave and fires off several rounds at the nearest approaching Kobolds.*

Just be glad that these aren't Zorkish Kobolds. Those're nasty, and only identifiable from a nice race of creatures due to a difference in toe lengths.

*Affy sighs and has his wristwatch scan the house of cards that he's sitting in so that he can show people a virtual representation of it later. Then he bursts out of the house of cards, sets his Gauntlet to "Snowzar: 1 hour" and shoots a wide-stream blast at the nearest Kobolds*

*it's a terrible fate for the nearest kobolds, some of whom were hideously microwaved before freezing solid. Other microwaved kobolds fall to the ground, screaming horribly*

*those kobolds who are nearby smell cooking flesh, and immediately throw down their weapons, intending to feast*

*Titania's three shots all hit their marks, all but one being killed instantly. The third crawls slowly back toward the hatch, where the king stands*

*other kobolds are screeching and rolling in the snow suffering from formic acid burns*

*there are several holes now in the circle of kobolds, but 42 of them are still on their feet and coming closer*

*Affy repeats the attack*

*Witty changes the setting on her nano-gun to Tractor Beam. She aims and fires at the Kobold to her right that is closest to the edge of the cliff. Held firmly in the beam, she dangles the creature over the edge of the cliff for several seconds hoping that the 41 remaining Kobolds notice.*

*Her plan is to release the Kobold allowing it to plummet to its demise. Her hope is that the Kobolds have a strong lemming instinct.*

*She releases the tractor beam.*

*very pleased with her last shot having hit more than one target*

Hey - I'm getting better at this!

*starts chanting to the gryphons, seemingly ignoring the kobolds*

*the kobolds who see their fellow soldier dangling over the edge of the cliff just point and laugh*

*the rest have spaced themselves further apart, and so only 3 are affected by the last blast from the snowzar. The dice say those who were immobilized by the first blast will begin to regain mobility in 10 posts*

*one of the gryphons hears Titania's call and swoops. It picks up a kobold soldier, veers upward, and drops it over the edge of the cliff*

*a hail of arrows seeks out the gryphon unsuccessfully, and it now hovers out of range, skraaking*

*the kobolds are evidently making an effort not to kill anyone, intending to save them for Thanksgiving, but they are coming within pike range*

*the rat ants fire again at the oncoming soldiers and disable 3 more before backing up to the ege of the cliff and unsheathing their stinger swords*

*that leaves thirty-four kobolds, (and the smelly king)*

*Violets snatches one up into a flytrap as it passes by her all unsuspecting* (33 + king)

Let's see here....the Cleesh spell would be meaningless, as Kobolds are already too reptillian for it to affect them in any noticeable way. And wasting a turn of combat by casting Caskly on a single one of them wouldn't really gain fantastic odds. Since I don't have many combat spells to fall back on anyway,....

*Affy draws his sword and jumps towards the nearest group of Kobolds, hoping that his years of adventuring experience and the times that he spent practicing during this current endeavor will get him through it all*

*Ampton steps out of the yurt and looks around again. Deciding that it might finally be a good time to contribute in some way, Ampton stares at some of the closer Kobolds, turns his speakers up to their maximum volume, and launches a sonic blast in their direction*

*Witty switches back to the Microwave setting and commences firing in a back and forth pattern attempting to hit as many kobolds as possible.*

*The smell of roasted kobold is making her hungry.*

*at this point, the behavior of the kobolds changes. Instead of pressing the attack, they start collecting roasted carcasses and running back to the hatch*

[kobold king] Cowards! Idiots!
*turns to the party at the yurt*
Resistance is futile! I have brought reinforcements!

*he whistles piercingly*
*what have up to now been assumed to be large mossy boulders slowly stand up to a height of ten feet or more, and seem to look toward the camp defenders*

[king] Surrender now and you will not be eaten. My soldiers have more than enough to feast on, this special day, thanks to your weapons. Not only have we fresh meat but you have frozen some for us to enjoy later!

If you do not surrender, I will unleash these monsters. Acids, arrows and ice will not avail you!

*the rat-ants holster their guns and escape down the vertical face of the cliff, leaving the others behind to defend themselves*

*Looks at the mossy rocky giantish things and looks at the others*



Um,....he makes a pretty compelling argument, but I've got this sneaky feeling that we shouldn't surrender. I mean, if we surrender, then who's to say what that would entail? We need more details.

*to the king* What are the terms of your surrender? You attacked us, if you will recall. Since you have no need of food, you have nothing to gain from our surrender! Since we value our lives, we have no inherent need to suddenly become your prisoners! Persisting in this attack of yours would merely damage these fine monsters, if I understand the situation, as you neither have a need for prisoners, nor have you a need to end our lives! Why continue the fighting? Pride? If your only purpose in continuing this assault and demanding a surrender is that you don't want it to appear that you have lost, then we are perfectly willing to accept a fair draw where neither party continues assaulting the other! Surely this would be preferable to injuries or deaths on either side.

*As he is saying this, he has been running a scan on the giants with his OmeGauntlet. He's hoping beyond hope that these big troll-like things are made of granite and that it really is moss covering them*

*thinks to herself*

No acids, no arrows, no ice? Hmmmm... I wonder which effect fire, hammer&chisel, dynamite or another sonic boost would have?

Fire? *looks up at the sky that seems to have clouded over*
Sun?

*ponders*

*Ampton looks around, confidently realizing that the Kobolds all ran as soon as he walked into the scene*