h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And 'you've just heavy luggage' should read 'you've got heavy luggage'... This is what happens when I edit as I go.

My attitude is if people are going to act like children, I'll treat them like children. If they aren't capable of waiting patiently like a civilised adult, I'm quite happy to scold them in public. I've also been know to stick my arm in front of someone trying to sneak in the side and tell them no.

I find getting off the train to be the most infuriating bit, but now I simply shove people back if they're trying to get on whilst others are still getting off. I'm not even subtle about it - glare and shout all you like but shove me and you'll get shoved back and, odds are, I'm considerably larger than you and I'll win.

Fortunately I don't commute, although I do travel by train quite a lot, but at times when it's not so congested. When arriving at the station, I always wait until the train has done its final little braking lurch before I stand up - I live in horror of falling on my face just as people are scrambling to get on or off. There is still time to get out before the crowd on the platform start storming on.

On the platform, people do converge around a door when it opens, but generally make a path for those alighting to get away before they start getting on. Never really found it worth getting cross about.

Mu Beta's method of arriving well on time and reading the paper whilst waiting for the train is all very well, but falls down when you are getting a connection and a delay has reduced the changing time to a flustered 1 min 30 secs, the escalator is not working and everybody seems to want to go the other way.

There is no culture of standing or walking on a particular side on stairs or escalators in Germany, which is very annoying. Perhaps someone ought to start putting signs up.

I understand from my Laaaaahhhhndon friends that not standing on the correct side of the escalator on the tube is a cardinal sin.

FB

Putting signs up doesn't help. At Brissl Temple Meads there are signs clearly stating that you should be on THIS side of the stairs, but nobody pays any attention.

Why do people stand on escalators at all? They were designed as moving walkways, to speed up journeys.

If I had my way, the escalator would have detectors which sensed how many people were standing rather than walking, and reduce its speed accordingly. If everyone stopped, it would go backwards and deposit them whence they came. Muppets.

You could also prod them with little electric shocks...

TC round these parts (Düsseldorf, Köln, Essen) there is definitely a "stand on the right" culture on the escalators and transgressors are "glared at" and even "spoken to" sometimes "stiffly"

Tav, I am firmly of the view that I (and certain other reasonable, trusted people - maybe even you lot if this thread is anything to go on) should be allocated a small cattle prod or similar in order to punish people for particular transgressions, including but not limited to wearing their trousers around their bum and walking incredibly slowly in front of other people.

Call it cultural conditioning.

I remember the queues to have a ride when the first escalator came to the Island in 1996...

<BB<

That's a very good idea Elentari.

What used to annoy me was when someone would stand at the door with a cigarette in their mouth and a lighter held aloft, and light the cigarette as they stepped off the train so you got a face full of smoke as you stepped off. For bob's sake, the journey from start to finish was only 45 minutes. Can't they wait 30 seconds more?*

Deb

*Yes, I know there's the fact it's out of your system & you're craving another hit within 20 minutes. But I used to smoke 20 a day and I never did that.

In slight regard to this thread it always amuses me in airports that as soon as the staff start the call to board the plane that there is a stampede to get on the plane first.

I have a seat number allocated and I know I will get on and be seated before it takes off. I'm not talking about being late or anything but I am quite happy to be the last in the queue and stay seated until nearly everyone is on. What is the point of being on first - it's just more time sitting in the cramped fuselage?

(I have never flown Ryan Air- I understand it may be different with them)

Thee's a £7 surcharge if you want a plane with a fuselage.

Oh I'm with you on that one Orcus! Easyjet have just introduced allocated seating, previously it was the same as Ryanair. But even with unallocated seating, if you're travelling alone, and don't mind a middle seat, then there's no need to be at the head of the queue.

And I get very frustrated with passsengers feeling they have to occupy the first empty seat they see, entailing stopping and blocking the aisle till they get themselves sorted - head for the middle of the plane first, people!

But it's the disembarkation queues which really get me - those who take off their seatbelt the minute the plane lands, dash to get their luggage down from the overhead locker, then stand in the aisle waiting for the doors to open. If you have other bags to collect at the carousel, this saves you no time whatsoever. And even if you're only travelling with hand lugagge, the difference in time this makes is only 1 or 2 minutes.

>passsengers <

Looking forward to The Hobbit my Precioussss?

That was me hissing with rage

At platforms, I hold that, as long as I'm not getting in anybody's way, it's all good. If someone has been waiting longer than me, but they are standing further from the train than they need to, they are inviting me to fill that gap. As long as there is enough space for disembarking passengers to get through (and it does annoy me when people don't have that consideration), it's all fair game. That's why, if I have more than 5 minutes to wait, I always go to the waiting room/lounge until about 2 minutes before the train arrives.
When it comes down to it, if I can get past someone without touching anybody or holding anybody up, and get onto the train ahead of them, I think it's not a question of politeness, but of what *they* were doing standing around like a mug on the platform.

I'm amazed anyone finds the train stops at the same place each time. Where I get on, there's a general huddle in the area where the door is expected, then a shuffle up to where the door actually arrives.
I usually stand back from the platform edge as this gives me a much better chance of moving to the door more easily. Especially if seats are scarce I have no qualms about making sure I'm on the train as fast as possible. A queuing system just isn't practical, given that people may be coming from a waiting room or changing trains or there may be a last minute platform change. There can be an issue with the length of the train too - if it comes with more or fewer carriages than expected, people have to move up or down the platform.

It does annoy me when my way off the train is blocked - I'm prone to pushing roughly past those in my path. People are also very bad at keeping one side of stairways clear for those coming in the other direction.

There's a secret to it at stations round here. There are wee yellow stripes with "mind the gap" at intervals along the platform. These have been carefully calculated to be at the places the doors arrive at, and they always do. But not everyone has twigged on to this.