h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nope, just gurgling turtles, dolphins and pelicans around here.

I haven't read the backthread cos there's quite a lot of it, so apologies if this fascinating account of harmonically oscillating gastropods from the Dublin Penny Journal of 1835 is already familiar to the denizens of this Conversation:
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=9gLSAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA240&lpg=PA240&dq=vibrating+snails&source=bl&ots=Y-6yW8hcec&sig=YV0Yqtq2_L4JqKSE28jhz6hx9hs&hl=en&ei=iYsiTOAuhP7SBInWqe0E&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CCYQ6AEwBDgy#v=onepage&q&f=false
Go on, you know you want to. It won't take you more than twenty minutes to read it and I'm almost sure that at least some of you will find it a moderately uplifting experience.

that is... amazing...

__@'-'

very!

This IS still hootoo? Where strange, inexplicable and just fun stuffs happen? Or did I miss something? I have taken a lonnng ___________ time to get here ...

__@'-'

Right, where's my catapult? That snail's gonna go vibrate over the neighbour's fence!

Blimey! The snail's vanished. It looks like the vibration was caused by the snail sitting on a mini motorcycle. I'll never catch it now.

Ooo a vibrating snail

Not seen any snails in ages... vibrating or not... I think maybe the other vibrations round here may have put them off... poor ickle snails

Is heavy rain good for vibrating snails? Am I more likely to find some humming gently in the morning?


Geggs

If snails can hum, is it because they don't know the words? Oo I wonder... can they whistle too?

Now I think of it, they won't be humming at all. They will all have had a good wash.


Geggs

Ahhh... but do they? Don't they just hide in their shells when its raning? Actually... now I think about it, maybe they do relaly hum... I mean, they're fairly well hidden in their shells from the rain and suchlike....

Alas and alack, my day so far his been a absolute desert of vibrating snails. Of any snails at all, in fact. There have been too many spreadsheets and databases for my liking, though. Far too many.


Geggs

My day, also, has, thus far been entirely bereft of snails, both the vibration creating and vibration non-creating kind. This is, I feel, one of the main reasons as to why today has not otherwise reached the pinacle of its uttermost potential zenith... Hope springs eternal for what tommorrow may bring in regards of this respect...

My dogs eat snails.

And do your dogs then vibrate?


Geggs

No they crunch.

Can't you buy them dogfood like most owners do? ?