A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Petty Hates

Post 7721

Pink Paisley

I often get to read police reports. there is a way of writing which always becomes a temporary PH.

"The offender has walked up the alcohol isle where she has put a bottle of vodka into her bag. Then she has left the store without paying".

Every time the word "has" appears, it is unneccessary and makes the sentence appear to be in some weird tense.

PP


Petty Hates

Post 7722

Bright Blue Shorts

The alcohol isle ... sounds great ... where do we catch the ferry from? smiley - winkeye

Isn't that the same as footballer speak ... "And then Giggsy's crossed the ball to me, I've hit it with the side of me foot, the keeper's flapped at it, and it's gone in the back of the net" ...


Petty Hates

Post 7723

KB

It's not that weird a tense, the present perfect. smiley - erm

I have seen it used a lot.
I have used it myself.
46% of long-haired men have visited Dundee.

But yeah. I wouldn't use it in the cases you have mentioned, personally.


Petty Hates

Post 7724

Mr. Dreadful - But really I'm not actually your friend, but I am...

<>

I often get to read the lists of charges given on court paperwork in my job... sometimes they are short and to the point, most of the time though they are overly verbose and grammatically confusing. I can't work out how they managed to fill out "stole car, crashed it into another car" into over 150 words this morning. I wish I was joking.


Petty Hates

Post 7725

gandalfstwin OGGMSTKMBGSUIKWIATA

The alcohol isle is the Isle of Islay......


Has more distilleries per land area than anywhere else!!!!


GT


Petty Hates

Post 7726

Mr. Dreadful - But really I'm not actually your friend, but I am...

I think you want Useless Facts, GT.


Petty Hates

Post 7727

gandalfstwin OGGMSTKMBGSUIKWIATA

smiley - laughsmiley - laughsmiley - laugh
GT

(They started it!!!)


Petty Hates

Post 7728

Elentari

I read police papers for my job too. Normally when taking a statement, the officer sort of 'translates' what the witness has said into police-speak where necessary. I saw one the other day where they had left 'It was proper nauseating' in. smiley - laugh


Petty Hates

Post 7729

winternights

How come when they present the weather they are always right when its going to rain but not when its supposed to be sunnysmiley - doh


Petty Hates

Post 7730

Bright Blue Shorts

You need to come and live in my area ... they've been predicting heavy rain here since last Friday. We did have an overnight shower before dawn on Tuesday but otherwise almost nothing. I've given up looking at weather reports ... actually I'm pretty sure I had a thread about this around this time last year ...

Also my friend who knows about meteorological things says that the only 'guaranteed' forecasts are when there's no cloud i.e. clear skies. Once there's a bit of cloud involved it can go in any direction so you might get rain, you might get sun, you might get cloud ...


Petty Hates

Post 7731

gandalfstwin OGGMSTKMBGSUIKWIATA

PH????

After tonight, Channel 4....


Its Big Brother Time again!!!!!!!!!


smiley - wah
GT


Petty Hates

Post 7732

winternights

You might have clinched it with that one , time to revisit those old Dvds I thinksmiley - run


Petty Hates

Post 7733

kelli - ran 2 miles a day for 2012, aiming for the same for 2013

It gets worse, Big Brother or *endless* bloody football. Summer telly is always rubbish but this year even more so smiley - sadface


Petty Hates

Post 7734

kelli - ran 2 miles a day for 2012, aiming for the same for 2013

There is extensive building work going on outside my office and the low pitched rumble and accompanying vibration is beginning to drive me insane. Actually, this is a not so petty hate! Every once in a while it stops and I feel my whole body relax....


Petty Hates

Post 7735

Bright Blue Shorts

Refuse collectors leaving my neighbour's bins across MY driveway ...


Petty Hates

Post 7736

eloisa

Adverts for washing powder that don't seem to know the difference between dirt and stains. We see a bit of gravy drop onto a tablecloth and suddenly it's 'aaaarrgh, stain!!!!!!!' No, gravy. Wash it and it's still there then ok, stain. Till then, pigging gravy!


Petty Hates

Post 7737

winternights

0n two occasions recently after attending a restaurant I have somehow got gravy on my white T-shirtsmiley - yikes and after feeble attempts to remove it have had to try disguising the offending markssmiley - steam. I’m I to resign myself to either wearing a bib whilst eatingsmiley - doh, take fresh T shirts to change into after the mealsmiley - ok , smiley - run into the kitchen of said restaurant and accuse the chiefsmiley - cross of supply excessively runny gravy or just not go out at allsmiley - headhurts


Petty Hates

Post 7738

Rod

If you go to *proper* restaurants, they'll have good sized napkins to tie around your neck.

Since kipper ties went out of fashion, a bib works for me.


Petty Hates

Post 7739

swl

Pfffft. A beard solves all these problems with the added advantage that food morsels are still tasty days later.


Petty Hates

Post 7740

Pit - ( Carpe Diem - Stay in Bed )

Rod, napkins to tie around your neck - that means a restaurant of the "this meal will last hours and you´ll enjoy every minute" sort.
If there´s any of that kind still open in your town, and affordable - book me a flight.


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