h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who say things like 'you can tell a person's personality by the shoes they're wearing' and treat it as though it's an unchallegeable rule.
So I undergo a radical personality change when I change from my scruffy trainers to my smart work shoes do I ?

Roadkill I agree the things you said if the person is tryin to be one of those things all the time. But I like to get the balance right and sometimes try to be clever, stupid, wise, silly etc.

People who think they can become an instant psychologist by revealling someone's motives.
Example. Someone cracks a joke and they say 'they were trying to be funny'.
Or someone introduces themselves to a new person and they say 'they are trying to make new friends'

OMG you're the next Freud!

No It's not people trying to be cool or funny or wise or whatever, it is committing the sin of trying to hard. When you're really not funny, but you're convinced you are/can be, so you keep on cracking jokes that no- one laughs at.

Which reminds me of something:
When someone makes a crack, or tells a joke, and no- one laughs, so they assume that no- one heard it so they keep on telling it over and over again, until you have to say "I heard the first time".

'Absolutely'.

It's taking over! I hear it everywhere!

What's matter with 'yes'? Yes is an absolute anyway.

The phrase "very much" seems to be sending its tendrils out into the media and public life. During coverage of the bombing of Baghdad:

>"So, we could actually say that the bombs are, in fact, being dropped as we speak?"

"Yes Kirsty, I can safely say that that is *very much* the case."

"Fascinating."<

Come to think of it...*all* verbal diarrhea. There is so much of it these days.

People who say "I don't mean to be funny, but..."
as a precursor to some snidey criticism.

Well of course you're not being funny! You're just p***ing me off!!

People who don't write too when they should - eg I'm not to bothered. Toooooooooooooooooo
People who say council rather than cancel
Double negatives - I've not done nothing
Pronounciation rather than pronunciation
I went '.......' rather than I said '....'

I think I'd better stop now.

Or "I was like..."

People who type 'teh' instead of 'the'. Completely different sound to the word! Why...?

But hush...there's a lot of these people about...

My petty hates.
My parents.
Freud.
Freud! Freud! It all comes back to him and his obsessions with sex! I hate it!
Freud again.

People who have load conversations in public places, speaking so loudly & obnoxiously so that everyone around them can hear what they're saying. I think these people do it cause they want everyone to know how 'witty' or 'cool' they are, or they just want to be the centre of attention, when in actual fact they're probably annoying the heck out of everyone around them

and that goes for people who use their cell phones in places polite people would never think of having a phone conversation... restaurants, theatres, hospital rooms, churches, etc. Turn the ringer off, people!

Oh, and to be really petty, toilet paper that comes from *under* the roll. That drives me nuts.

rude people

smelly people

shrinkwrap

snails

there you are!

Verbal Diarrhea....I like that....

People who say they are animal lovers and proceed to "tease" your pet.

Liars !!

Obnoxious loud people in public places.......the worst!

Morons: People who think they are better than you because they make tons of money or because they have that piece of paper that says they have a "higher" education! Bunk!!! half of them couldn't find their way out of a paper bag, but could tell you exactly how that bag was made...ugh....or how much it cost!...ugh...ugh!

Barb

People who begin a sentance with, "To tell you the truth...." or, "To be honest with you....." Whenever I hear this I automatically assume they're just about to lie to me.

Sentences started with "well basically" whenever someone recalls something from the past or explains a situation.

Steve Cram.

I'm not entirely sure why I dislike him (or more acurately his athletics coverage). I think it's got something to do with advocating people taking a 'sickie' from work during the last Olympics.

People who try to impress me by using big words, only they use them inappropriately!

People who park their cars in quiet neighbourhoods, and then have their music system so loud you can hear it several streets away!