h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pineapples, kipper???


You are supposed to OPEN the tin FIRST!!!!




GT

Good one, Eh???




GT

Exeryone's a comedean

Funny, isn't it?

Mr. X



GT

Petty hate?

Trying to sharpen a pencil, only to have the lead break, one turn before you were going to take the pencil out of the sharpener...

And ending up with a pencil aout half the length it started off...

That's why I use clutch pencils; the sharpeners don't tend to break the led and your pencil is always the same length.

Careful, that's suggesting using intelligence. Mine's in short supply, so I use it sparingly...

Alkaline batteries, can't stand them. My camera goes through them like I would a nice pie.

Ye gads, don't use alkaline's in digital cameras. Many models wont even start up with a fresh set. Always high capacity rechargables It'll save you a small fortune over the lifetime of the camera, and you wont be piling tonnes of batteries into landfill.

People who batter my car!

My car is covered in dings (mostly) inflicted in car parks. It's 5 years old and must have 2 dozen dents and scratches inflicted by trolleys and other car's doors.

I noticed another yesterday, small and deep (about a third of a cm and near a natural body line - so a fairly rigid area). A couple of months ago a huge dent appeared on the rear wing. It had to be a trolley handle or tall car and certainly big enough that the assailant would have known that they had done it.

Actually, this isn't so petty - it probably reduces the value of my car considerably. Internally it is in very good nick.

PP

Not being able to find a single thing I'd want to watch on the tv despite having hundreds of channels to choose from.

People who only splash water on their hands after using the bathroom. How hard is it to realize that without soap the water is absolutely useless???!!!!

But the bathroom is for taking baths, why would you need to wash your hands after you bathe?

Petty hate: people who can't bring themselves to use the word "toilet".

Or the loo, or whatever. But public lavatories don't have baths, nor are they for resting.

It is a really bad night for the telly...

PH: having been forced to switch on to Confessions of a Traffic Warden through desperation, I've had to turn it off again because they have put subtitles on screen for a man who is perfectly articulate and has entirely understandable English, presumably because he is brown.

A good one, Kelli. I've seen that happening more often, even for people with (very moderate) Scottish accents, say.

One for today - duvets that get overly clumpy during the night.

On the hand washing front.

A couple of years ago I was on a course with a fellow health care professional who having used the urinal bypassed the sink and went directly to the hot air hand drier.

Recently I witnessed a similar event only this time it was direct from the cubicle to the hand drier.

Now go "Eeeeew!"

PP