h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So since October of last year, in amongst all these upset postings you married him without telling us ? I'm sorry Zapp but I just don't believe it. I suspect you are making this bit up to add more credibility to you staying with him. In which case, as you can see it doesn't change our opinion.
Apologies if I am barking up the wrong tree. Convince us - when did you marry him ?

Hmm

All relationships are doomed to failure.
And thats a fact, Jack...for instance my old housemates woman has just dumped him because she fancies my sweet self, trouble is I don't fancy her that much.
Oh what a deadly web we weave...
...might s**g her anyway tho.

TAD, Zappgirl only posts here rarely, I suspect that she may not have seen your request.

I am not going to say more, because it has all been said many many times before.

But I am going to ask her a couple of questions:

Zappgirl: Do you want what you currently have?
If not, Zappgirl - what are you going to change about what you currently do?

Ben

I guess we will just get a reply in a few weeks saying things are OK but continuing with snippets of him being exactly the same. Zappgirl - please tell us when this man became your husband - as I said before I have an inkling he is not. Either way it begs a few questions to your postings. We really want to help but seem unable to.
It always helps just to get things off your chest and have a sounding board but with the seemingly serious and desperate situation you appear to be in it doesn't make sense to completely ignore the essence of what we are all - without exception - saying to you. We are not getting through and a bombshell like you are married to the man who was your boyfriend eight months ago (not even fiance at that stage) begs the question what else can you say to surprise us. Sorry but I know I am saying what others are thinking. I have read some of your other threads and you say you get bored with things easily and you have problems with reality. The reality is the situation you are describing in this thread is unacceptable and you are surely bored enough with him to get away from it.

*reactivates thread*

Waits patiently for further news.

Was going through my old conversations and wondered what has happened to/with Zappgirl

I guess that's why she called herself Zapp Girl, she knew in her heart that she was destined to be Zapped by this Sap of a fellow.
Now for some real shenanigans try me JLCtheTTP, eternally enthralled in the throws of romantic tragedy! A Wednesdays child and full of Woe! A Woman = Born to give Woe to Man. Or as I heard on a film script recently when one a nice guy asked his friend why he didn't "Just say No!" when some tart fancied him.(The situation was that the naughty boy already had a fine filly who was a thoroughbred and true blue.) When caught with his hand on the cookie jar, he answered his friend plainly: "Are you crazy man, we are MEN, we like to have our hands on the steering wheel of a fast car, the WOMEN are the BRAKES, it's their job to say NO, not ours!" Think about it, it will Zapp you.

Still no news from Zappgirl. Please let us know how you are getting on. We await news that you have left the man for good !

More accurately - we await news honey!

B

4 months since you spoke to us all ! How are you Zappgirl ? Just post a wee note to let us know you're doing OK.

Clearing up and came across this post. Anyone ever hear anything ? Zapp poured her heart out to us for months and we were all so concerned. Zapp - perhaps you just want to leave the whole episode behind ? Just a note to say you're OK would be great. Hope life is good

Zappgirl, your job is important to you. Your life in America is important to you. OK. How long will it be before you can become a citizen and not be dependent on your marriage to enable you to stay there?
You may be able to hold on to the essential part of yourself through those years, if you're very strong and stubborn. Please believe that those of us who care about you will do our best to help you do that if you need us to.

BUT please think about this very carefully and answer honestly (in your own heart and mind - you don't have to expose yourself here unless you want to):

What will happen to you if the cumulative effect of all the physical abuse leaves you unable to work?
It is possible to struggle on against the pain for years. It isn't pleasant - you find yourself crying bitterly whenever there's no-one around to see and the rest of the time you just have to grit your teeth and get on with it - but it can be done if you're determined enough.

Till the time comes when you can no longer get in or out of bed without help, walk across the road to the shop and carry a bag of milk and bread back to the car, get into the bath or wash your hair.

How will your husband react when he has to not only cook and clean for himself but also wait on you hand and foot?
What will he do when the only way you can get up and down the stairs is to crawl, even if it means embarrassing him in front of other people?
What will he say on the days when you can't do Anything at all to satisfy his sexual needs? When you can't even bear him to kiss you or stroke your hair because it hurts too much, and you can't even concentrate enough to hold a decent conversation with him? When you can neither stand, sit or lie without pain and your whole world narrows down to just getting through the next night? When things become so bad that it's no longer possible to only cry silently in the dark so that he doesn't know?

Will he be patient and kind and understanding? Will he be gentle with you when you wake him in the night to help you turn over or get to the toilet?

Will he stay with you? If not, how will you live?

Can you take the risk of ending up like that?

When you're young and healthy it's possible to start from scratch several times and claw your way back up in a few years if you're prepared to work hard, but wait long enough and let him damage your body enough and you could find yourself no longer having to worry about the decision because you'll have no options.

Please think about it.

There are some really lovely men out there. You really don't have to make do with what you've got. You're a woman - you hold all the cards. Honestly.

* passes through *