h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The same men?

Yes Serephina, we are talking about different men here. Unless you want to make all men suffer for one persons mistake.
While you are complaining about why the women get stuck with the children when the men leave, there are men out there campaigning for rights to see their children after divorces.

There are men out there who don't want children - and have so far taken care to ensure they don't father any. That's not shallow it's responsible.

If they really dislike children and being around them there's it's also responsible to try and not fall in love with women who have children. It's shallow to pretend you're ok with children just to get their mum into bed!

I've always thought 'shallow' is very much the wrong way to look at these things. People want who they want, and no it doesn't work out very fair, but they're feelings that aren't going to change so trying to impose ideals on the whole thing is futile.

Quite. And no, Serephina, it's not the same. I didn't *choose* to be the height I am.

That said, nor did I choose to fall in love twice with girls who ended up breaking my heart.

On the other hand, at the moment I am choosing to get on with my life and trying not to play the victim for the rest of it.

I was at a party here in Sweden the other night. Goddammit, there was several guys taller than me. There was even a girl as tall as me. Now I don´t have that advantage anymore.

Things are really back to normal for me.

Nice to see you around, Xan. It doesn't matter here how tall you are!

Woohoo! It's back, and just in time.

Xan the man is Young, Free & Single (who remembers Gary Davies!), Queegle is soon to be the same, now where's Ged et al?!

Let the trials and tribulations, giddy highs and confused lows commence!


For starters...
There's a like I've had a huge crush on for ages, for a while when we worked together, the tension was almost palpable

I'm leaving my job soon, and last week he's calling me sweetheart, and dare I say it, flirting
Of course, practical me realises that the things he's saying are really no different to the more vocal fellas with their pet names and hugs (I work with a lovely bunch of blokes). But daydreamy me is out buying the chocolate body paint in Costco sized quanitities!

We also end up smiling at each other every time we catch eyes

So, work fantasy or potential mate?

Only one way to find out...

When you finish work one day, rush to the Ladies, take off all your clothes, cover yourself in chocolate body paint, go and stand by his work station, throw your hands up in the air and shout "ta-daaaaa!!!"

Let us know how you get on.

RF

This sound like quite an ideal situation Queegle. If you were going to be working with him, things could get awkward if it doesn´t work out. Now that you´re quitting the job, you have nothing to loose by asking him out. Though I´m not sure I would support ReddyFreddy´s tactic. Still, go for it.

I actually had a bit of a heart to heart talk with ye olde Czech Girl yesterday. I´m not sure all of it was something I wanted to hear.

RF! Damn fine idea!

Xan.. ask him out? That's crazy talk! Why would you wanna say something crazy like that? Are you crazy or something?

Maybe I would, but we have the other complication of not quite being split up yet from current boyfriend. This is planned to happen in just under two weeks, when we move out of the house, and after I finish the job. Certainly won't be investing any flirt/other time in anyone else until the current relationship is finished.
There is also the prospect that though I may be okay with this planned series of events now; when it happens, it'll be a bit of a sideswipe.

Heart to hearts often come out with things folk don't want to hear, at least you know more where you stand?

Well I did have some trouble figuring out if you had broken up with that OH yet or not. Still, you might need a rebound guy and then you can use the work-guy.

Maybe work guy has gotten the courage to flirt for the very reasons you said.
Maybe he's just taking a note from the other guys and their teasing.
Oh I don't know!
My only problem is remembering to think before speaking... bit difficult when one's brain turns to jelly when in close proximity to one's crush.

I think I'll leave that there. It doesn't seem right talking about wondering whether another guy is interested while I'm still with current guy. I know we are breaking up, but we're not broken up.

Well that OH guy doesn´t sound like he´s worth that much anyway. Just make sure you get the number of work guy, so you can give him a booty call sometime.

"booty call"

It's not that OH isn't much, he's just not right for me, and I'm not right for him. He's actually honestly pretty fantastic. I could go on about the reasons why but it'd get long and boring!

*momentarily gets distracted by Daniel Craig on telly.... Yummy*

There are some qualities he has that annoy me, and some I have that annoy him, as (I should imagine) is the case in most relationships. However there are some fundamental things we have views upon which means that the relationship has no future. We're breaking up before we end up resenting each other and/or feeling like we're just wasting time.
We still have a laugh every day, it's gonna be difficult when it ends.

I don't quite follow how you can be breaking up but not yet broken up

You're not the only one finding it a bit strange!

I'd been thinking about breaking up for a while, but as many of you probably know, it takes a long time of thinking before you have the courage to do the doing!
Things got to the point where I realised I could not do this any more. We have a laugh and everything but we're not really happy as a couple.
I had 'the chat' with the other half and he accepted rather than agreed. Similarly to me he doesn't want to break up, but he knows we won't be happy staying together.

So it was out in the open and we knew we were breaking up. The next couple of days were a bit awkward. We live together (rented house) and we were a bit like, we're breaking up, do we hug/kiss/sleep in seperate beds? Like I said, we get on really well, there's just no future.
It would be very difficult for either of us to immediately move out, and to be honest that would be bit sudden too. So we decided to leave the actual breaking up part until we leave the house.
I think this has actually worked really well. It's been far better having two months (house notice) of normal relationship than two months of awkwardness. Of course things have been better because when we've done the things that really annoy the other, subconsciously we know we won't have to put up with it much longer so it hasn't bothered us as much!
We're both gradually moving our stuff out, we know it's happening but don't really have discussions about it (what's the point in being sad before it's unavoidable?).

We're also gradually drifting apart a bit too, probably because we know the short term future. Whereas we always used to come and greet each other's arrival home with a kiss, it's becoming less and less, and other little things like that. Nobody's making a point, it's just like it's less of a priority now.
I think it's helping us to pre-adjust a bit to the change too, so it's not so much of a wrench as the end of relationships usually are.
That's not to say I won't feel like I've been hit by a house when it does happen.

Apols for essay!

No worries about essay. It helps to get it straight in your mind by writing it down.

You asked after Ged. He got married to Seraphina.