h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yeah, like what a frightening place a toilet can be when you're a kid. A night the flush seemed so loud, I used to run back to my room.

yeah I was frightened of it when I was little too. I had nightmares that there was a face on the toilet door (I was always scared of ghosts when I was little).

I know several women who have toilet nightmares. The nightmares are different each time but the themes are dirty toilets, overflowing toilets, toilets without doors or doors that won't stay closed, toilets in shop windows, no toilet to be found etc. I was surprised at how common this nightmare is for women. Do men ever get them.

Always thought it would be a good idea to market toilet paper with Football Teams on them - that way you could buy the one for the team you hate. Suspect that Man Utd paper would outsell all the rest by a mile.

Visited Hull once to see the public loo where there`s goldfish in clear glass cisterns - thankfully the flush doesn't go all the way down. This toilet was featured in that series on Loos by Lucinda Lambton.

Also been to a bar in Aberdeen where the owners have set a series of TV screens in the bottom of the urinals covered by a perspex screen. They play Glasgow Rangers videos non-stop through the monitors .... a lovely experience if you`re a Celtic fan.

Also experienced another splendid loo in Glasgow in the RAC Club there (a superb late Victorian edifice) .... thay had these brass `n` glass devices on the floor infront of the urinal (the long type that goes down to a gully in the floor). These were splashguards that were inclined towards the face of the urinal to stop your shoes getting a pattering of droplets.

I read once that the German for toilet paper was bumfodden from which we get bumf !

That completes my urinal mind dump.

Red

I don't think there's any need to bring the Germans into it. I heard that bumf is short for the English term "bum fodder".

It doesn't make sense in German. The German word for a***e is A***h, then there is Popo (or just "Po"), HIntern, Hinterteil, Allerwerteste, Gesäß, Vier Buchstaben, Sitzfleisch, etc etc (all I can think of for the moment)

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Not through taste, the entry removed was Trillian's Childs list of german words for various toilet related issues, we have to be rude in english at the BBC

CHawke

In my experience, some of the very finest rudeness has come (oo-err ) via the BBC.

A few posts back IZAL toilet paper reared its ugly and scratchy head - I seem to recall that each sheet was marked with a small green diamond containing the words, 'IZAL Medicated'. Medicated with what? And why? We seem to get along fine without having our bogroll medicated these days.

Although... nobody has yet mentioned moist toilet paper (moistened in manufacture, I hasten to add, lest anyone should think I'm trying to lower the tone). I'm really not sure about this, it seems such a good idea, and yet somehow unpleasant. And dispensing the sheets seems problematical - unless they're all individually wrapped.

O for God's Sake honestly. All I did was list all the German words for "bottom" that sprang to mind and stated precisely what I was doing. To demonstrate that the word "bumph" (well, I always spell it like that!) did not come from German.

I always have a few individually wrapped portions of moist loo paper in my handbag

*rummages in said hb* ... anyone want any?

Have you ever been out for a vindaloo and following the morning after ablutions found only IZAL toilet paper? I have. I went in to the smallest room a boy(facial lines wise) and came out a man(and not a young one).

Sounds like you had a rough time! I shouldn't laugh

*sniggers*

re. toilet dreams, I always dream of toilets if I need the loo and am asleep. I don't dream that I can't find a toilet, quite the opposite; I dream of rooms full of toilets, loads and loads of them. Most perculiar. Fortunately, if I go to the toilet in the dream, I don't in RL; otherwise I might have a slightly embarressing problem.

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but...

... I was momentarily flummoxed today when reaching for the toliet roll, because the dispenser was on the 'wrong' side: the right, whereas I'm used to the left. Then I thought it might be quite nice to have it on the right.

Any thoughts (or, indeed, alternatives)?

Clean things right hand, dirty things left hand. I guess toilet roll goes into the dirty things category....

The original question on this thread was dealt with by Ann Landers in 1980- she had 20,000 replies with a very slight majority for over.

Surely it depends on whether you're dextrous or sinstrous? I personally am right handed but would rather my roll was on the left, for ease of access if nothing else. Ideally I suppose I'd have to say straight in front but you can't be too picky these days.

What about worst loo experiences? I could tell you but it's disgusting and would probably be Linda'd

*Dashes off to check out the new smileys*

Sorry, surely the side the roll is is dependant on available walls. Without a spike type thing coming out of the floor, left is simple not an option in my bathroom.

ChawkE