A Conversation for Jokeathon
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
spook Posted Feb 11, 2003
i guess we'll find out tomorrow.
q. why did the one eyed chicken cross the road?
a. to get to the bird's eye shop!
spook
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Terran Posted Feb 12, 2003
Theres an English man, Irish man and a Scots man on a desert island. While walking through the island the Irish man finds a magic lamp. He decides to take it back to to show the other two, and while they try to clean it up a Genie appears.
He addresses the the men :
"I am the genie of the lamp, and for freeing me I shall grant you a wish each."
Firstly he asks the English man, who tells him that he misses his family and would like to go home to England. The genie grants him his wish and he disappears.
He then asks the Scottish man, who tells him the same, that he would like to go home to his family. So the genie sends him back to Scotland.
The genie then asks the Irish man what he would do with his wish. The Irish man looks around, and gets a bit sad. "I wish I had my mates back"
(BTW : I'm half Irish so I'm allowed to tell those jokes )
Vercingetorix
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
J Posted Feb 12, 2003
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dog thinks, "Boyo, I'm in deep doo-doo now." (He was an Irish setter).... Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted Posted Feb 12, 2003
at the risk of triggering 1001 lightbulb jokes.......
how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has got to want to change.......
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
ex Brigadeer, now Tealady Werekitty aka Tobru De'ran; ex sith extraordinaire, well poked veggie fascist and Goo Goose Posted Feb 12, 2003
If all four walls face south the only place the house could be is bang on the north pole. Therefore the bear is white because only a polar bear can survive on the North pole.
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted Posted Feb 12, 2003
Q: Whats the difference between Viagra and Prozac?
A: With one you get a , with the other you couldn't give a
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
J Posted Feb 12, 2003
A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Chronicargonaut Posted Feb 13, 2003
Hello
Here is a joke.
Its a bit old, but its a classic.
I think I can recall the punch line, here goes.
"Knock Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
No, sorry, I've forgotten the punchline.
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Hathornefer (ACE) Near miss - isnt that what you'd call a hit Posted Feb 13, 2003
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
Hathornefer (ACE) Near miss - isnt that what you'd call a hit Posted Feb 13, 2003
Ok... on a roll here:
Q) What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A) A woolly jumper
and
Q) How do you make a Swiss roll?
A) Push him down the hill
(with appols to the Swiss)
and
Q)What’s a Grecian urn?
A) About 100 drachmas
and
Q) How do you make a Venetian blind?
A) Poke your fingers in his eyes
(again, with appols)
and (you’re ok its coming to an end here)
Q) Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A) To see his flatmate
(with appols to hedgehogs)
Phew, glad I got them out of my system, there will be more tomorrow as I can feel another bout comming on
Hath
x
Key: Complain about this post
Jokeathon - Tell A Joke
- 21: spook (Feb 11, 2003)
- 22: Terran (Feb 12, 2003)
- 23: J (Feb 12, 2003)
- 24: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 12, 2003)
- 25: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 12, 2003)
- 26: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 27: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 28: Terran (Feb 12, 2003)
- 29: ex Brigadeer, now Tealady Werekitty aka Tobru De'ran; ex sith extraordinaire, well poked veggie fascist and Goo Goose (Feb 12, 2003)
- 30: Terran (Feb 12, 2003)
- 31: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 12, 2003)
- 32: spook (Feb 12, 2003)
- 33: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 12, 2003)
- 34: J (Feb 12, 2003)
- 35: Mort - a middle aged Girl Interrupted (Feb 13, 2003)
- 36: J (Feb 13, 2003)
- 37: Chronicargonaut (Feb 13, 2003)
- 38: Hathornefer (ACE) Near miss - isnt that what you'd call a hit (Feb 13, 2003)
- 39: J (Feb 13, 2003)
- 40: Hathornefer (ACE) Near miss - isnt that what you'd call a hit (Feb 13, 2003)
More Conversations for Jokeathon
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."