h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

**--appears in the Garden, precariously standing on the edge of the steps leading up to HoHo Spire. Even though he's a feline, with impeccable balance and agility, the sudden transition from the weightless floating environment of TI Cyberspace to the normal gravity of the Garden causes him to over-correct his stance and he topples headlong into--**

>-* SPLASSH! *-<

[Purr] Phffffft! Thrrrrr! A phfffff-ountain?! Who dessigned a ffountain in thiss parrticularr sspot?

>-* splash-slosh *-<

[Purr] **muttering** Everry sscene. Ai sswear, it's EVERRY sscene!

**He takes a moment to really look at the fountain he's fallen into, noting the rainbow colored geyser that's spraying naturally out of the ground here. The panoply of varying hues captivate him and he sits, squelching, just watching the water flinging itself upward, only to cascade down into the pool at the foot of the rocky escarpment. His clothing is drenched, but--to his amazement--in a multitude of shades and tints that rival the diversity of any well-kept flowerbed.**

[Purr] Prrrrrrrrrr... Hmm, thiss isn't sso bad... Rratherr nice, in ffact...

**He lays back under the spray of the fountain and lets it cascade over his entire body.**

[Purr] Who would have thought there would be time to rrelax at a sspa durring ourr adventurres here...? Mmmmmrrrrr...

[OOC]

(Anyone who looks closely at Purr B4 reading his last scripted lines might wonder if he's perhaps schizophrenic. Actually, it's just inattention to detail.)

[/OOC]

--materializes in the Audience sector of the Contrary Garden, suspended in mid-air several feet above the verdant carpet of lush green grass. He suddenly realizes that he never learned to fly and plummets downward, trenchcoat flapping and satchel slipping from his shoulder. His attention is momentarily diverted from his fall as he grabs for his satchel. Once it's in his grasp, he looks around and sees he's still floating in the air, even a few feet higher than before, practically touching some of the upper limbs of a nearby tree.

[B4] >okay< >don't move< >it's cool< >just don't look<

Down. That's where the ground is. Now, so is B4. Thankfully, the verdant carpet of lush green grass is as soft as a mattress.

[B4] Okay. Think I'll just here, then.

.. .. ...

*the seven dwarves stroll nonchalantly into the set in a row and walk cooly down the path*

Well, after frilled dogwinkles what's a cockle shell?

*hands round the and biscuits due to Caer being temporarily indisposed*

Oh, thank you Amy. I may have to go over to the fountain in a few minutes, though, as I've spilled coke on myself.

*sits down on the thick grass, feeling the sun on her shoulders*
*reaches over and shakes the stem of a silverbell plant, and it rings in a high clear note*
*shakes a smaller one and hears a higher note*

Didn't people use to eat cockles?

(B4 spews the Perrier he was drinking, then, wearing a quizzical expression, pokes his pinky finger into and ear as if trying to clear it out)

*lands comfortably, except that he has Carmel on his head. After a moment he almost makes himself permanently crossed trying to see what's on his head, at which point he finally asks.*

Excuse me, could someone please tell me, do I have a plush rabbit on my head?

Yes Mac, you do... Here dear, let me help you down... *gently takes the and places her on the soft lawn*

*Appears with a pop and looks around curiously.*

Hey! This is just like MY garden! The mood of the place seems to fit me like a glove. Now, I wonder if it has the pretty maids all in a row just like mine...

*Is eying Thistle, Buttercup and Miss Muffet when she notices the is missing*

Stranger, dear, it looks like we can finally be alone.

*Looks around for a secluded spot. Spies a suitable place and is heading towards it when appears in her path.*

(B4 notes wryly) Another case of "Ovis Interruptus", it seems...

*watches a fat caterpillar make it's way across a leaf, licks her lips, then thinks better of it*

Naah, they aren't so tastey when they're fresh. Caterpillars are lots better pickled.

*One of the big yellow dandelion-type flowers swivels around in a full circle, then stops, still again. In the centre of the flower is a lense, roughly the size of the lense that would be found on, say, a periscope.*

*sits quietly admiring the garden and wondering if her prince will ever appear*

Perhaps I should try kissing frogs.

**Purr's ears twitch at the soft lilting voice of Cinder's lament. He comes out of the fountain, dripping, on all fours and squats down on the soft grass.

Ribbit-ribbit!

*tickles Purr behind the ears*

Isn't this a lovely garden?

*she gently taps a silver cockleshell and sets it tinkling softly*

**Purr lifts his chin, as if to have it scratched as well, and looks into Cinders eyes.**

[Purr] Prrrrrrr-uh...hapss we sshould caperr about and ssee if we can ffind anotherr one of those Goose Eggss? Hrrrrrrr...

**He nudges Cinders with his head (have you ever seen a cat do this?), mushing the top of his cap, the large red feather tickling her under her chin.**

*Little Miss Muffet puts her bowl down and stands up* Gladys the descends to the ground*

[Gladys]:

Up the spire we all must ramble
To the egg. It's quite a scramble.
We must climb that great big rock
And get back here by eleven o'clock

(B4 stands up in the Audience sector and cofides--)

[B4] When I was in the military, in Basic Training at Lackland AFB, we had this Drill Instructor who must have come from right there in San Antonio. In the wee hours of the morning, he'd slam the barracks door open, just as the last notes of Revielle were fading, and bellow in an overpowering voice:

"Djoo got te-e-n meenuts to chit, chower, and chave...
I don' hear NO Water RUNNIN'!!!"

Perhaps the characters here need a bit of motivation, too.

*rustling in the grass*

1: Wait! Before you climb the spire,
For another egg you might inquire!
2: Investigate along the cliff
And see if you can get a whiff
3: Of pfeffernussen and of stollen
We think another egg is callin'.