h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*jumping up and down, shouting*

Inhaler! Inhaler! Get her inhaler!

...at least I think that's what she means...

*scrabbles through her bag*

I don't seem to have an inhaler, but I've got an oxygen cylinder and mask. Would that do?

It's very heavy once it's out of the bag. Can someone give me a hand?

Charades! What a good idea!

Rhymes with "face" - ace, mace, case, grace, chase, pace, lace, trace...

*pulls a VPB out of her shoulder bag and throws it "onstage"*

**Hearing the commotion, Purr bounds over. Assessing the situation quickly, he puts all his Cub Scout training (rank of Bobcat) into practice. He deftly rifles through Thistle Howls pockets, ing a little in the process, and finds the inhaler Titania so accurately identified. He holds it before Thistle's mouth, waits for the nod, then gives it a peremptory spritz.**

[Purr] Ai hope thiss will rrelieve yeour ssymptomss swifftly...

[Purr] What?! Thiss one iss empty?!!!!

**Looks quickly around and sees what Lil has furnished.**

[Purr] Verry fforrtuitous ffor yeou, young lass! Lil has prrovided a rreplenishment...
**He gives it another go with the VPB from Lil, with much better results.**

Awe, she'll be fine, just pat her on the back. Um...should she look like a big, fuzzy rassberry?

*thank's to Lil and Purr and the Stranger, takes her first deep breath in much too long.*

Oh, wow, I must look like an...weeze, weeze...object lesson from the Willy Wonka movie...weeze, weeze...

*She shakes her copper Medic Alert braclette down onto her fist, then waves it threateningly at Purr*

Tickle me when I'm helpless, you Darn Cat! No, really, thank you, Mr. Purr. Weeze...Weeze...I'm going back to my dressing room for a long...weeze...oatmeal bath. Then I have a 5 gallon pail of...weeze...calamine lotion, and a paint roller. But it won't really get better...weeze...until the moon wanes. I don't know why, Moma says she'll tell me when I'm older. I you don't need me for a while.

*she adjusts her TI glove and disappears.*

Get on with it!

Did we get that question right? Can we go up the spire now?

[Gladys ]: If everyone is ready, follow me.

*Gladys heads back towards the main part of the garden followed by Little Miss Muffet who is strumming on her guitar*

*from behind the bushes*

[Back]: *hears guitar music* Gorgonzola! That's the intro to our next song. Quick, get the skin back on!

[Front]: Oh moo! You sing the first verse while I sort myself out.

*the bells and whistles in the garden join in with Little Miss Muffet's guitar*

[Back]: Ladies, Gentlemen, Entities. We would like to dedicate this song to our dear friend, the Master of Metal, the Rodent of Rock, Styx the Rat.

*to the tune of the first verse of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin*


Although we've been told
All that glitters' not gold
We're trying the stairway to heaven
When we get there we'll know
If the egg's there or no
But we've got to be back by eleven

[Front]: *still adjusting her clothing*


There's a sign over here
That points to the Spire
It's implying the stairway to heaven
Is the way to the egg
So please shake a leg
And follow the dwarves (there are seven)


There's a feeling I get
When I look for my vest
And my spirit is crying for leavin'
That we should pull up our socks:
The egg might roll off the rocks
While we're climbing the stairway to heaven

[Both]:


Moo moo mooo mooo mooo moo moo moo
Yes, we're climbing the stairway to heaven

[insert air guitar solos here]

Brava! Brava!

*Claps enthusiastically.*

Another outstanding song! Andrew LLoyd Webber eat your out!

Yay! *applauds*

**Purr grimaces.**

[Purr] Both Lorrd Byrron and the Barrd himselff would be appalled.

[Purr] It doess, howeverr, have a good rrhythm...mmmmmm...

[Purr] Ah, whateverr... Ai will buy the ssoundtrrack affter the sshow...

**He cavorts a bit, does a quick-step, then twirls his cane 'round as he marches toward the steps leading into the tunnel that will--doubtless--take the Cast to new heights, to the top of HoHo Spire.**

*waves antennae*

It rhymes better than the original.

(finally extinguishes his Bic lighter he'd held high during the last set and stops waving his arms in time to the music)

Dude, you just gotta love the variety of talent in this production!

B4igetthattattoo

*concernedly staring at the spot where Thistle Howl was last seen*

Quack? Quack!?

[Will she be OK?]

*splashes around in the fountain for a while, then hurries to get out of it, not wanting to be left behind again*

Quack!!!

[Wait for me!]

*Hangs back a little with the Stranger, hoping for a private moment. Bats eyelashes.*

*someone piping on a flute inside the tunnel*

*pretty notes wafting out over garden*

*blink blink of red eyes glowing concentrating*