h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's a fountain right over there, it's the one Purr fell in when he transported from the Jail. *points to multi-coloured architectural frivolity in corner*

Tea would be nice. Just keep any boiling water well away from me. I have a phobia.

[Purr] Well, perrhaps this wouldn't be the rright flavorr of waterr for everryone...

**He takes the pail over to a patch of petunias and begins to dribble the water over them.**



{Somewhere distant, in a dark and damp underground lair, standing near to hand by an Altar of Hate, a large bat-like creature, with tattered wings and in serious need of corrective orthodontics, cries out in dejected misery.}

[] Aarrrrgh! Not aga-a-a-ai-ai-nnnnn...!?



**Having emptied the bucket, Purr walks to the fountain and fills it with fresh, scintillating water. He hands it to Lil.**

[Purr] Care to try thiss batch insstead?

*dips the kettle in the water and sets in the gas ring*

won't be long now

I suppose we're breaking the rules, mingling cast and audience like this... but the lobby seems so far off, somehow.

Why don't we call it intermission?

Or a masterclass with tea.

*cracks an eye open to see what the Stranger is waiting for.*

<--- chewing on a bluebell

Hey, I'll be back in a sec. We probably need some 'tea service' items...

B4
(continued in The Lobby)

(B4 winks back into existence on the path neat the stairs to HoHo Spire. He's carrying a wonderfully crafted sterling silver tray, carefully arranged with beautifully decorated china cups and suacers. There are a number of other containers for cream, sugar, lemon wedges, and a marvelous variety of teas--both loose leaf and in packets. There are enough cups and utensils for about thirty-odd people [or about that many odd Cast members]. He finds a convenient flat topped stump and sets everything gingerly upon it.)

[B4] Is the kettle on the boil yet?

Did someone mention tea?

OOOOooooOOOOooo [Hey, Reb. They've gone into that cave]

OoooOOooOOOOO [I'll go see what they're doing]

*leaves and returns a few minutes later*

oooOOOOoooOOOO [They've stopped for tea!]

oooOOOOOOOOOO [Just like that durned posse used to do]

OOOOoooooooooOOOo [Say, you don't suppose...]

*produces a tin of shortbread petticoat tails*

Would anyone like some shortbread?

[B4] Hey, since we're all sharing, how about some Girl Scout cookies? I've got some of those wonderful chocolate-covered Thin Mints!

(B4 reaches into his satchel and pulls out a cellophane wrapper that's partially open and looks the worse for wear since his arrival at the Panto. He looks at the remnants of the cookies in dismay and fidgets through the crumbs. He pours the contents onto a napkin, then sifts off the powdered remains. Tenderly, he holds the survivors forward in the napkin.)

[B4] Um...okay. So there are three--count 'em: THREE--Thin Mint cookies left intact. Anyone? More than happy to share. I'll just (looks over his shoulder) eat the crumbs.

*notices that her breath is suddenly making a cold vapor*

Hey, we're haunted again.

I'll pass on the cookies, B4. I have some mbougatses in my backpack. Matina never lets me leave the salon without them.

*puts out slices of mbougatses*

*A large green parrot swoops over the mbougatse slices, then lands on a nearby rock with a slice in his mouth.*

Pierrot: Aaaaaaawwwwwwkkk! Thought I smelled those!

*pops into the Garden, looking much better than when she left. There are still traces of Calamine lotion behind her ears.*

Helloooo? Where is everybody? Oh, man, even the audience is gone!

*follow her nose to the cave entrance, peers inside.*

Guys? You up there? Darn it, I'm going to have to hurry to catch up. I hope they stopped for tea.

*hurries up the stairs.*

*sips her happily*

The cup that cheers, but not quite as much as a glass of

*his lips parting more than necessary for a mere kiss, thus revealing something sharp, white and glistening*

*seems to be aiming further down than Mary's lips, further down than her chin - in fact, he seems to be aiming for her..*

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, MARY!!!

Look out below! ...Mary!

look out mary look out something sinister is about to happen to you

B4sheignoresthewarning