A Conversation for The Mother of All Gooses
Gingerbread House
Cinders Posted May 30, 2003
Mary, if it would help, I'm sure Daddy would find room for your 
.
I know it would annoy Stepmamma no need to have one wandering around and getting in her way.
Gingerbread House
Humpty Dumpty (and Chicken Little, his chicken) Posted May 30, 2003
* Thinks about confessing to eating the mushrooms, but just holds his head 
*
Gingerbread House
Buttercup the Pantomime Cow Posted May 30, 2003
*ambles into the Gingerbread cottage* admires herself in the mirror*
[Front]: Oh look! A christmas tree. How seasonal.
*sings* 
Hark the herald angels sing
Glory! Look at Pansy Ffing
Washing done, her laundry's piled
Bras and knickers reconciled
Joyful, she tries on a corset
Joined by hooks the size of Dorset
Though the label does proclaim
It's size ten, our Pansy's game
Hark the herald angels sing
Glory! Look at Pansy Ffing.
Gingerbread House
Buttercup the Pantomime Cow Posted May 30, 2003
*bows* sings it again with Back doing the descant*
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Mary and her full-grown <sheep> Posted May 30, 2003
*stamps foot*
But you don't understand! I've had him since he was just a little lamb. He's harmless. Er, mostly, anyway. Besides, I can't bear to think what might become of him if I weren't there to look out for him. *shudders* You've just GOT to give in.
Wait, I have an idea. What if we build a little pen for him out back?
<---looks at Mary with narrowed eyes.
It's okay, sheep. We'll start small and work up from there. Before you know it you'll be warming yourself in front of the parlour fire.
So, you won't even know he is there. I'll look after him myself and feed him and clean out his pen and everything. Oh please, please can we keep him?
Gingerbread House
Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes Posted May 30, 2003
*a young woman approaches along the path to the cottage. She is walking briskly and is carrying a clipboard to which are attached several dark green brochures. She is wearing a pale grey business suit with a skirt that is slightly too short. Her high heels weren't the best choice for this location. The grey colour of her clothing doesn't suit her complexion, which is pink, or her hair which is bright red, pulled back severely into a french pleat and secured with what appears to be a miniature gin trap*
Gingerbread House
Thistle Howl - a frighteningly cute Critter of the Night Posted May 30, 2003
*slips into the House, hoping no one noticed she was missing*
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Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes Posted May 30, 2003
*marches into the cottage*
Henrietta Deedes. Wheedle, Worrit and Deedes.
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Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted May 30, 2003
*somewhat taken aback by the abrupt manner of the newcomer*
Any relation of Dodgson Deedes?
Gingerbread House
Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes Posted May 30, 2003
He was my father. Died last year. Pernicious gazumping. Came on suddenly. Nothing anyone could do.
Which one of you is *consults clipboard* The Farmer's Wife?
Gingerbread House
Thistle Howl - a frighteningly cute Critter of the Night Posted May 31, 2003
*thinks...the Farmer's Wi...Uh Oh!...Briefly considers hiding behind the door to avoid being mistaken for the culprit, Then she considers that she is pre-pubes...pre-puebece...pre-pubesc...er...really young, and couldn't possibly be taken (even by Blind Mice) for the Farmer's Wife. Thistle stands in the middle of the room, trying to act as if she owns the place.*
Gingerbread House
Buttercup the Pantomime Cow Posted May 31, 2003
*Buttercup turns around to face the newcomer* her tail swishes against the ornaments on the tree*
[Front]: Well we're not the Farmer's Wife.
[Back]: *laconically* In his dreams!
Gingerbread House
Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive Posted May 31, 2003
This one's turning into a bit of a chowder if you ask me. What happened to the 
?
Gingerbread House
Coniraya Posted May 31, 2003
I suspect they are keeping well out of the way if the Farmer's Wife is about!
Gingerbread House
Pansy Ffing Posted May 31, 2003
Buttercup, what a lovely song! I really *am* a size 10 you know. It's just that the shops sew the wrong labels in. I soon put it all right for them.
*Pansy casts an eye over Henrietta's outfit and shakes her head.*
My dear, you really must let me accompany you next time you go shopping. I have excellent taste, as you can see. Whatever were you thinking of when you got dressed?
Oh, and as for the Farmer's Wife. She's... *Behind You*!!
I've been waiting for ages to say that.
Gingerbread House
Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes Posted May 31, 2003
*Ms Deedes gives Pansy a long, slightly sneering look and then slowly turns around* she catches sight of Mary*
You there! Are you the Farmer's Wife?
Gingerbread House
Three Blind Mice Posted May 31, 2003
*the three blind mice burst into the room, each wearing his fedora and dark glasses, and additionally carrying a tiny AK-47*
1: *aiming left* Clear!
2: *aiming right* Clear!
3: *Aiming forward* Clear!
*a pause as three noses go up and sniff the air*
1: She's here somewhere.
2: I smell her too.
3: Let's try the kitchen.
*they burst out again*
Gingerbread House
Mysterious Stranger Posted Jun 1, 2003
*grabs Mary's chin and forces her to look into his eyes*
Mary! Mary! Listen to me! That sheep is evil - do you hear me - EVIL!
This is the time to get rid of it, once and for all - you can do it - I know you can!
Key: Complain about this post
Gingerbread House
- 61: Cinders (May 30, 2003)
- 62: Humpty Dumpty (and Chicken Little, his chicken) (May 30, 2003)
- 63: Buttercup the Pantomime Cow (May 30, 2003)
- 64: Coniraya (May 30, 2003)
- 65: Buttercup the Pantomime Cow (May 30, 2003)
- 66: Mary and her full-grown <sheep> (May 30, 2003)
- 67: Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes (May 30, 2003)
- 68: Thistle Howl - a frighteningly cute Critter of the Night (May 30, 2003)
- 69: Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes (May 30, 2003)
- 70: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (May 30, 2003)
- 71: Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes (May 30, 2003)
- 72: Thistle Howl - a frighteningly cute Critter of the Night (May 31, 2003)
- 73: Buttercup the Pantomime Cow (May 31, 2003)
- 74: Asteroid Lil - Offstage Presence (May 31, 2003)
- 75: Amy the Ant - High Manzanilla of the Church of the Stuffed Olive (May 31, 2003)
- 76: Coniraya (May 31, 2003)
- 77: Pansy Ffing (May 31, 2003)
- 78: Henrietta 'Fowl' Deedes (May 31, 2003)
- 79: Three Blind Mice (May 31, 2003)
- 80: Mysterious Stranger (Jun 1, 2003)
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