h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just so as you know, Jade is /quite/ sensitive about her ankles. Just ask Myst. ...Or Legionsy...

Yes, I have seen the concept art, and yes, the elven designs are very very sparkly and shiny. And yes, i've read all the Potter books about ten times each. My favourite character is Remus Lupin. He rocks the socks. I hope they bring him back in book five... If in fact book five ever bloody comes out.

*Jade cries out as the broomstick hits; her ankle enveloped by the white-purple blossom of pain blooming there. A livid teal bruise begins to form*

You bloody //bastard//...! ()

*Her right hand darts out and she grabs HDS by his left wrist. She places her left hand over her right hand and wrenches his hand backward. (Pressure points, children. If I were to do this to you IRL you'd be whimpering to your mums. Trust me. Hurts lie the dickens it does.) The entire motion is performes so quickly that it is in fact blurred (I can do that. I'm an elf, you see. Like Orlabdo Bloom, I have the help o CG editing to make me do interesting things.)*

actually I did not know you were any more sensitive in the ankle area than anyone else is. sorry.

I like Lupin too. And Hagrid and Dumbledore and Black are tied for my favorite with Lupin. I like Fudge's name, but not Fudge himself, I could do without his stupid @ss .

(I'm going to use the little shift funtions of the numbers [in the place of vowels] so that you can get some idea of what I'm cursing as I do it, instead of a long series of bleeps)
J!s@s H. tap-dancing Chr#st on rye! That really hurts!

*HDS's hand shoots, somewhat shakily, to Jade's throat and begins to apply pressure on her esophagus and trachea with his fingers, grunting in pain the whole time*

that's the hand that isn't being squeezed painfully, I have yet rest use of that hand from Jade.

*Seeing as HDS is at a low and inconvient elevation, Mystrunner places a boot to the side of his head and pushes him over.*

Book 5 is, apparently, in a readable form and has been sent to the publishers. It's just being tinkered with at the moment - allegedly

(I'm not going to attack Jade again, until she responds to my last attack, as such I can hardly do anything but fall down from Myst's blow to my head and sit and whimper in pain until I know whether or not I have my left hand back. so...)

*HDS falls on his left side, his head hurts now.*

*As HDS is holding her by the neck, and her ankle isn't holding that much weight after being smashed, Jade goes down with HDS falls over, half on top of him, still wrenching his hand back. She grins in a grim parody of joy, and wrenches his hand back ever further.*

...Tye-mancuva... fírimar...

The pain in her ankle has forced poor Jadie into elvish. She just said "I shall kill you, mortal." ...And yes, I realise that you're not mortal, HDS. But there isn't really a word for... whatever it is you are. Heh/ so considder "fírimar" as a sort of "insert description of sentience here" blank space, ya?

The ankle thing goes back to the dark ages, when Myst and our friend Legion and I were in a mock-Tolkien role play thread (You /were/ in that one, weren't you Myst?). Legion was a wizard, and I was a sort of female Dunedain/elf/hobbitish comic relief person. With erally nice ankles. ...And of course, you know, in the dark ages, feminine ankles were, like, a sort of thing that males only saw when they were either 1) married to the owner of said ankles, or 2) paid. So we made extremelt bad jokes about my "glorious shining elvish ankles" and such. And now you've smited my ankle, and I'm using it as a bit of an Achilies' Heel. That, and have you ever /really/ had your ankles smacked by a blunt object? It hurts like all Hades...!

Oh, and by the by, //GREAT JOB SO FAR!// *gives everyone a as a reward* You kids picked up this continuity thing quick!

Oh yes! If you're an elf as of right now, HDS, the "fírimar" would be "Elda." And also, there should be an "and" between "HDS" and "falls." I'm awake... heh...

well, I have not had my ankles bashed but I have on accident bashed them, so I do indeed know that is very painful. Thanks for the ! I am enjoying it. I have also desided to go without weapons hence forth and I will only battle you. I am currently at peace with Myst. HEAR THAT MYST? Craxus is all yours, *evil echoing laugh*. Brother of Iluvatar will suffice as a breif description of me. or "He who's name you probly shouldn't say too loud" can do the job too. hahahahaha. incidently I take the form of mortals in "Avatars" which can be killed. Kinda like how Vorlon Ambasador Kosh could "pour" himself into his secretary's mind and control her. If you don't know about Vorlons and the like but would like to I can explain them later. I hope you don't kill me. I like talking to Namo aka Mandos, but the trip really takes it out of yah. back to the fighting now.

*HDS's chest aches with the impact of Jade. His left hand hurts lots too. and so does his back, from the fall, and his head, from Myst's boot. so all in all, he could use some taquila, or lots and lots of whine. Yes he will be taking a trip to one or the other or both of the Dining rooms for several.....hundred.....Drinks. But back to concentrating on Jade not kiling him, as she doesn't look to happy right now. (dorry for the ranting)*

*HDS's right hand is gloriuosly free and without pain, so it shoots up to between the kneck and left shoulder of Jade, going around her back to do so. He begins to apply lots of pressure to the pressure point there and he also tries to draw her off of him, in a twisting manner.*

OW! This hurts alot!

*Jade shrieks in pain ad HdS's hand connects with her shoulder... or back. ...or whatever...*

Ow! You jerk! ...Okay, so how about this. We'll both let go on the count of three? How does that sound...? And then we can get to fighting proper again, ya?

Okay.





...one...















...two...














You can determine three.

Three...

*Craxus leaps and aims a high end kick towards Jades head.*

*HDS's head snaps around and spots Craxus as he starts his kick*

You MO-FO!

*HDS leaps to his feet, gently letting Jade to the ground and blocking Craxus's foot with a strong blow to, heh heh heh, the ANKLE!*

An attack from behind is a cowardly thing to do. You just stick to Myst, or you and I shall have a less friendly duel than our last one!

in case you didn't know Jade, the end of our duel invovled the death of Craxus and Myst. Fortunately, Namo granted them both life again, on the provision that I fixed the damage done by Craxus to the 2500 km cubed area around the Temple of Shadows.

...... That's nice... Well suffice it to say that /we don't kill people here./ We just bloody them up a bit. And then when we're sick of it we go and have drinks. I hope that's cor with you.

Erm. Right, so what just happened...? *takes a moment to scan the b'log* Craxy, that was a /very/ dirty trick. I would have expected better from you. I shall have to punish you later, ne?

*turns to HDS* Now then. Where were we...? Ah yes. I was bloodying you. *She leaps up and lithely spin-kicks at HDS in the general direction of his chest*

*Mystrunners speeding elbow heads streight towards HDS's ungaurded neck.*

*Jade winces*

*HDS rolls his head around just in time to take the blow on his forhead.*

Ow!

*HDS then send a foot aimed straight at Myst's ankle.*

sorry, didn't see that you had attatcked me. so I'll amend what happened to me slightly. Here is the new version.

*HDS takes a powerfull hit to the sternum from Jade. THEN block's Myst's blow with his forhead and kicks out at Myst's ankle with his foot.*

I think that covers it all

Nice catch there. Heee. We both kinda ganged up on you there, didn't we? *dripping with sarcasm* Oh, and that little move with the pink-smoke-emiting-and-singing ball thing in the barracks forum was cute, but honestly. Stop that, that flirting stuff. Craxy might get jealous, ne?

*As no one has attacked her for a whi,e and she promissed to punish Craxus for that cheap shot he attempted a few posts back, Jade turns from HDS and Myst to the general direction of Craxy. She makes a pouty face.*

I thought you said you weren't going to attack me. Obviously you lied. That wasn't very nice.

*Mystrunner's forward momentum prevents him from avoiding the kick. It connects, knocking his foot from underneath him, and causing him to drop lopsidedly onto HDS, from there falling to the floor. He rolls to his feet.*

*Rubbing bruised foot.* Nice.

the pink smoke was supposed to knock the villains out, but it didn't do its job, oh well

*HDS, assuming that he has either hit Myst's ankle or hasn't (as those are the two options for that situation) stands up, and backs several paces away from anyone.*