h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The door into His Divine Shadow's room is large English oak, on the door is written the name of the occupent in English, Elvish, Dwarvish, Shriwook, and about 10 other launguages, all in glowing letters. The door has no handle, but open when one touches the place were the door handle would be.

The room is very large, as a result of the far wall from the door being turned into a sort trans-dimensional gateway into the other part of the room, some hundred kilometers away or so.

There is a cobblestone walkway from the large wooden door to the far end of the room, which ends at a dais, on which sits a very large stone ring with 14 runes and 7 ruby tri-angles all set at equidistant points on the ring. set to the right of the ring is a wide stone pedestal on which there is set the 14 runes from the ring and a large ruby half sphere in the center. There is another pedestal to the left which containes over 50 buttons, each with a number in rune on it. Between the two pedestals and infront of the upstanding ring is another ring, only set into the dais. The right pedestal controls the upstanding ring, which is a stargate for transport to other worlds open to use by any who wich to use it. The left pedestal controls the ring set into the dais, this is a ring transporter which can deliver people to over 50 different sites on the planet and around Majestic 12, this also is open to the use of any who desire and there is only 1 restricted site, that is the ring transporter in the Temple of Shadows (HDS's personal palace, monestary, center of dueling, and all in all place of many things and purposes), the ring transporter will only transport people there when HDS is there already.

Along the cobblestone path are great pillars of marble runed with gold and silver, the walls are adorned with murals of the great events of Middle Earth, as well as the events of other places and times such as those of the Star Wars Galaxy, the Babylon 5 Galaxy, the Diablo timeline and all manner of other event from yet more timelines.

Between the pillars and walls are many gardens, trees, statues, fountains and the overall effect is very Elvish a seemless combination of Imladris (Rivendell) and Caras Galadthon (the city of Galadriel). Trees extend up into and through the ceiling, which is enchanted to look like the sky (in the same manner as the Great Hall of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry). The branches of the great trees intertwine to form a platform in the same manner as the Wroshyr trees Kashyyyk (homeworld of the Wookies).

To get onto this plaform, a white staircase winds up the sides of the two trees closest to the doorway into the lower floor. On this platoform there are many small huts (guest huts and His Divine Shadow's hut) and and one long low building that can serve as a second dining room for the Beach House. the hut closest to the second dining room, which looks exactly like Rubeus Hagrid's cabin, is that of His Divine Shadow. Inside the hut of HDS there is a king-size bed with blue, gold and silver elvish blankets. On the wall behind the bed is the sheild and glaive of Gil-Galad, His Shadow's long dead son. On the right wall there is a stone oven with a cheerful fire burning within and there is a stumpy treebranch poking through the floor to support an anvil, on which is laying the hammer, sharpener, gloves, apron, and great steal pincers used to hold metal inside the blast furnace, which is in the corner between the wall that holds the door and the wall that holds the oven/hearth. Between the blast furnace and oven is a well and steal cooling trough. On the wall oposite the the oven and well there is a wine wrack, several large high backed leather chair, a book case, a gun display cabinet, and a broad wooden table with several comfortable wooden chairs about it.

Inside the Second Hall, or the second dining room, (which looks like the Hall of Meduseld on the outside) it is (on the iside) a carbon copy of the Great Hall of Hogwarts, with the ceiling enchanted so that one can see the night sky pouring in through the other enchanted ceiling. House elves, that are givin all of the freedom they desire (which is usually precouis little, as they prefer work and service over all other things), clean and cook for any who desire. Whatever they want, the house elves will provide, cheerfully wereing smart looking deep blue togas that bear the crest of the House of Gil-Galad. Similar banners adorn the walls around the four long tables and behind and above the Table of Honor that stretches perpendicular to the other four tables at the end of the hall. Places are reserved at this table for Jade, Mystrunner, Craxus, and of course His Divine Shadow. When ever there is a dinner held in honor of some one, that person occupies the Seat of Honor, the golden throne in the center of the dais and behind the Table of Honor and the banners on the wall and above and behind the Table of Honor will switch to that person's personal or family crest, and if they have no crest, then it will be a very flattering picture of the preson being honored.

And back to the lower level, if you care to get pointers on the up keep of the garden or the Great Trees, then just ask either of the grounds keepers, Treebeard and his Entwife.

Enjoy the room, and do enjoy a story from Treebeard, or some food or drink from the Second Hall.

So where are the people from the Dojo that were going to converse with me?

Treebeard and his entwife in unison: They are in the Second Dining room

*A teenager enters the room dressed in faded jeans a black belt with a gourd attached to it and a black tee-shirt with a black leather jacket, small blue sunglasses, and a backpack on his back*

Wow!! nice room HDS I love it, and the forge is a great touch, i am an apprentace to a blacksmith and I miss the smell of sulfer and smoke the orange glow of metal at just the right heat and of course the sound and feel of hand on hammer on steel on anvil.

*calls down tree branch*

Thanks. Since I'm no longer living in Valinor, I can hardly make the whole trip just to ask Aule to make me sword can I? No, we only work together now on very special projects. Like my twin Scimitars, the Twins, Rathiel and Kellael. I dare say, Jade might give you a room in our little corner of Heaven. You can have combination training room and forge! Can't hurt to ask.

Thanks I might ask her, i've always wanted to live by a beach, and it is always a good thing to be able to repair one's weapons and armour

*HDS walks into the room, Hjik's corpse following behind him, Treebeard looks on solomnly. HDS makes his way towards the Star Gate at the other end of the room.*

*The corpse hovers a few meters from the door, HDS continues to the Star Gate while his house elves cover the corpse in a dark blue sheet with the seal of the House of Gil-Galad emblazoned on it.*

*HDS arrives at the Star Gate, presses a button on the Ring Transporter panel and steps back. The rings spring into the air, glow, flash, and then desend back into the floor. Twelve Scotsman appear, in full clan dress wearing the Bruce tartan and carrying bag pipes. They step away from the transporter, and walk to the sides of Hjik's cropse, then turn and face the Star Gate. HDS presses another button, the rings spring to life again and on the pad appears a large pile of cedar logs, surounding an oak table. HDS turns back to the door, as he does his appearence shifts, and he appears as Sean Connery did when he was wearing full clan regalia in the movie "the Avengers" HDS wals back to the floating corpse and waits for the others*

*Chronos walks in, and stands quietly*

Sorry, some of us have social lives...

*Jade walks in veiled and dressed in black. She nods solemnly to HDS.*

*Walks in wearing black hooded robe takes place in the room an d nods to HDS*

I have one too, and Hjik walking through the door every other day.

*The Scottsmen begin playing "Amazing Grace" on thier bagpipes. HDS slowly walks to the Star Gate, the Scottsmen playing, and flanking the body as floats. When HDS raches the dais, he steps to the right, as Treebeard stands on the left. The Scottsmen stop moving but not playing and the body drifts up the dais and onto the oak table amidst the ceder wood. Treebeard and HDS elbow to shoulder on the cobblestone. Treebeard holds out a cristle basin with a silver water sprinkler in it. HDS takes hold of the sprinkler as it sits in the basin*

*HDS says something very moving*

Couldn't really think of anything at the time though

*HDS draws the sprinkler up and flicks Holy Water on the corpse three times. HDS replaces the Holy Water Sprinkler in the basin and then looks intently at the ceder wood....it starts burning, it burns hotter and hotter and hotter until the snapping of Hjik's bones can be heard. It burns so hot that it hurts all the mortal eyes in the room. Then, as suddenly as it began, it ceased, a perfect metephor for Hjik himself. The House Elves come in then, bottle the ashes in several of Aule's best stone bottles. HDS gives one to Treebeard to use in his gardening, one to Aries, one to Chronus, one to Jade, and keeps one for himself. The Scottsmen walk back to the Dais in silence, step onto the Ring Transporter platform, activate it, and go back to the Thingite barraks.*

*takes her bottle and bears it away to her room*


Oh HDS darling, TSamuel tried to take Hjik's body back in the Second Dojo. I told him it was gone. The poor child...

HDS: Indeed, poor shild. He ain't getting my ashes.

Treebeard: or mine

*Treebeard continuies to mix the ashes into some special compost for the Wroshyr trees.*

He wants to have a battle, you know. For the ashes. I'm going to say no. What about you?

I'll deny him the prize but not the battle. As long as it involves only 2 combatants, IRL 2 or more is fine, but its too much work here.

reportedly he wanted to do a two on two with me and you vs. him and Doc. I'm like "oh he// no..."

I fully agree with that sentiment. You and I have yet to complete any od our duels though.

Okay then, so we'll start a new one. But not for about a week. Methinks I'm not gonna be on much next week because I'm on spring break.

Jade, WHERE IS THAT SHIP!, please make one (or find it) soon, my stuff is collecting dust