h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*After much pondering, Euan commences the construction of his room. People nearby look oddly at him, as he starts to sing. Slowly a portal forms in the wall of the hallway, opening like an iris.

Euan steps forward and continues to sing. The language used is unlike any that the onlookers have heard, seeming to be an odd mixture of the familiar and the completely alien. The tones are conflicting, yet strangely concordant at the same time.

The room begins to take a shape. No-one has seen the shape before, as the geometry is distinctly non-Euclidean. One man tries to follow the contours of the wall and faints. A woman looks fearfully through the door and sees shifting patterns, the walls and floor are in flux. The only constant in the room is Euan.

His voice changes, and becomes much deeper in tone. The floor forms beneath his feet; it is a stone floor, yet uncannily warm. You sense, rather than feel, a motion below the level of the floor, and realise that Euan has installed 'natural' underfloor heating, tapping a magma flow deep underground.

Over a period of minutes, the song becomes higher in pitch. As his voice rises so do the walls; they seem to be made of wood, but a wood that is as hard as obsidian and as strong as adamantine. Ivy trails from above, and the wood forms itself into columns, with sheets of what appears to be some sort of crystal between, allowing light into the room.

Euan pauses, appearing weary. He smiles, and then breathes deeply. The volume of his voice doubles, then doubles again, and he looks up. Following his gaze, one can see a roof descending from some unimaginable place, gently descending.

Euan smiles once again.*

Welcome to my room. Please excuse the lack of furniture or decoration for the moment, I'll get round to putting them in soon. Please, be welcome in this place.

Very nice I like it.

*lays on the floor*

The heated floor is nice, are you going to sleep on it until you get a bed in here? I brought you a housewarming gift but seeing that you have molten-hot-magmma onder the floor you might not need it.

*hands Euan two gourds full of sacred wine*

*Starts singing again

A chair rises from the floor, forming itself from the rock*

Please, have a seat. At least until I go get some real ones.

Thank you for the chair..it will look good in my room

*sits down in chair*

He's stealing your chair. I shall dispatch him.

*she unsheaths a dagger (gods knows where from,), somersaults to Chronos, and pokes him in the stomach with it*

Oi, that's Euan's chair...

No, no, it's OK. It'll dissociate outside of this room and be reabsorbed into the manifold.

*Sings a little more

More furniture appears*

This place isn't quite real. It's not unreal, but not real either.

I'm sorry, I'm not a very good host today.

Must dash.

See you all later...

Ow, jade thats my stomach, i was joking about the chair he said, "have a seat" it was a joke

*bandages up stomach*

Sorry bout the blood on the floor Euan.

I like the floor...

*sprawls out on it*

*risking life, tackles Jade playfully Tigger style and bounces off* Hey!!! Fancy meeting you here!

*hopes Jade won't kill her, and that Chron will help her if Jade tries*

*raises eyebrow, but says nothing...*

Nothing.

*Decides to forgo the expense of buying in real furniture and just creates some out of the fabric of this manifold.

Euan sings again, quietly. If truth be old, it's more of a hum than actual vocalisation. More seats appear, and a large table forms towards one side of the room.*

Time for some decoration, I think.

*Another small iris appears, this one on the outer wall. Water begins to cascade out of the hole, before falling into a second hole in the floor.*

Well, that'll help keep the water warm. It's piped into another room, the entrance is at the back of here. There's a small sauna out there too.

*He starts to hum again. Shelves appear on the walls, and in what might be a corner of the room a minibar appears.*

Well, it's kind of a corner. In a non-Euclidean geometry corners are slippery sorts of things. It's like my space in the castle.

*Euan sits down*

...!...





Stoppit Yank!!!

*Watches with amusement*

*Makes odd sound. Books appear on the shelves*

... what do you see we check out the sauna, folks?

hmmmmm i'd like to but i think i'll watch Euan sing his furnature song, iz interisting

*grabs Yank by the arm, snaps her fingers and her and Yank's respective clothing are changed into two very nice black swimming suits (you can fill in the details on yours, Yank. ). And then she drags her to the sauna (is it a sauna? is it a hot tub? What is it???).*

Wheeee...

Ummm...i'd like to stay and listen to you sing yoour furnature song Euan but i think i'l go to the sauna,iz interesting

OK.

And it's definately a sauna. Although if you'd like a hot tub, one can be arranged.

As for me, I'll leave you to it for the moment. I have to get the sound system wired up right and arrange drinks for the minibar in the, umm, corner -ish.

Yay!

*snaps fingers and a very tasteful Japanese-style hotpring appears in the floor. With a deer-scare and all. She drags Yank into it*

Hurray!