h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a long story. Best you sit down and have a .

Many thanks. *takes .*

I've been wandering the far reaches of H2G2 for a while, and I'm afraid I've gotten a little lost. I followed your posts, kind of hoping I could get back to a bit more familiar territory, but I guess you weren't after that when you came out here. What is here anyway?

Well now, that'd be telling...

so I will.

It's a hidden city, constructed by a shadowy group of individuals who are known only as 'majestic'.

Pop down and have a look. You can follow this link here A878736 to get there (just don't tell Jade I've put a hole in her wall - I'll fix it in a minute - honest)

Well, going over it again makes a little more sense...I think

If I asked who these shadowy individuals were, would you have to kill me?

Well, I might have to do that anyway.

There are clues scattered about the City. though.

Glad I didn't.
*also very glad she didn't take a drink of the "" just yet*
A third time through made things a lot clearer anyway.

That answered my first question. Now, how do I get back to the outside world (without cheating, of course)? There IS a way back, isn't there?

Indeed there is... there should be a few kicking about. You may have to look quite hard for it, though. There is certainly on e in one of the shops near the Cirque de Lune. Although it might not take you where you expect, necessarily.

Well, as long as there is one, and I didn't fall into some pan-dimensional-H2G2 black hole, I'm not too concerned.

For a long story, that was pretty short.

That not-so-innocent look on your face says to me that there's more.

More? Well, yes, actually. Much much more.

But I'm not telling you.

*feels a headache coming on and wishes the was something a bit stronger*

Well, sorry I came barging in here demanding an explanation. I had gotten a little frustrated, and completely forgot my manners.

*digs around in backpack, pulls out *

Since I came in uninvited, I figured I'd better at least bring food as a hospitality gift.

Gives to Euan.

*A silvery, oddly dog-like figure stirs in the shadows*

By the way, if I'm being annoying or not following the rules of continuity, don't be shy about telling me.

*MOves to shelves and pours a drink*

*Passes guest a - it may look like orange juice but really is a small glass of Glenfarclas 105 whisky (60% ABV)*

No breach of continuity or annoyance here. At least not that I noticed. Enjoy your stay

*Takes from guest*

My thanks, neighbour. But it would be churlish of me to eat the lot.

*Stands and moves over to shelf to get plate*

*Raises the whiskey to her lips, but is stopped by a barely audible growl in the hallway. Changes her mind, and instead decides to try a little experiment. Thinks "If you're as telepathic as I think you are, you'll know I'm not lying when I say that the chocolate, while a bit rough-looking from about a month of being squished in my pack, is certainly safe to eat. The second plate is not necessary."*

Get it right. It's whisky WITHOUT the e. Bloody foreigners

I'm only telepathic here, on MY ground. You entered of your own free will but I'm no danger to you, or to your companion. If you want to water the whisky a little, feel free to use the plumbing across in the corner. It does have a bit of a kick to it when you're not used to it Well, it certainly did to me.

Thanks for the .

*Bites off a little piece and savours the flavour*

I don't get out much, at least not where whisky is spelled like that. I'll try to keep my Americanized (Americanised?) misspellings to myself!


A welcome change from the thinly veiled death threat! But I think I will take your advice and water it a little. It's been a while.

*stands up to go to the plumbing, and suddenly remembers something.*

I suppose I'd better introduce you to Tracer. Come on in, bud!

*The silvery shape in the hallway enters the room. It is small for a wolf, and has the unusual features of blue eyes and tufts of brown hair sprouting from behind its ears, but it is impossible to mistake it for anything else. He settles down with a grunt beside the chair scandrea was sitting in, just as she gets back with her freshly-watered whisky*</ >

He's been following me around ever since the Forest of Bad Odds of Returning. I've given up trying to get rid of him. As it turns out, he's an excellent watch...well, watch-wolf, good at hunting, and tends to defend me when I black out. At least, that's what I assume happens...

Anyway, sorry I've been so nervous. We kind of pick up on each other's emotions, and our mutual anxiety just seemed to feed off of it. I'm sure the whisky will help. *takes a sip, and starts to cough.* might help more. *breaks off another little piece* Option for sharing still open, I hope?

Indeed, feel free.

So, did you enjoy the trip around the forest? It's been a while since I went exploring there.

Is Galen still in the tallest tree?

Well, let's just say that it's a nice place to visit, but the cost of living is rather high.

I enjoyed it for the most part. It's got that allure of most places where you don't find a lot of people. It's also got that dangerous aspect where you don't find a lot of people. I got into some trouble at that city... Shadar Logorth. I don't remember too much about it, but that was the first time Tracer saved my life, or I saved his, or both. Anyway, when I came to after that little incident is when he first started following me around.

Galen is still there! He helped me out a fair bit after Shadar Logorth. tasted a little odd, but he was a good guy. I kind of hope he stays in touch.

Space-time behaves very oddly there, doesn't it? I think I might have temporally cloned myself, but I'm not sure. Is that even possible?

That's where we first picked up your trail, too. Actually, it wasn't you we were following. It was Mystrunner. I think he and I belong to the same guild, and...well...I wasn't sure what I was going to do after I found him. Maybe ask him directions?

You can leave a message for Myst in the office of The Lord Captain Commander Of The Knights of h2g2, in the Castle Anthrax. If you can find it.

Asking for directions in that Forest is a Bad Idea; I don't think that the paths are by any means constant.