h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who cares.

*Thrusts claymore though teh throat of another vogon.*

They're easier to kill when they don't fight back.

I know how to end this, lets use a planet buster, Craxus and I have already reduced 2 continents to slag, why not finish the job with a really big bang?

Can't go wrong with doomsday weapons, lets evacuate the planet first, my lot are off, I'll give you some time to get rid of your lots!!!

*grabs on to HDS* I'll follow whatever you say.

Ok

*taps shiney blue button on his big comfey command chair, a comfy chair appears out of the floor next to Yankee-Shoes.*

I'll have some popcorn and soda in a second

*Taps comm button*

Bring the bridge crew and our guest some soda and popcorn, What kinda soda yah want?

Pepsi!

Mr. Jones Cream Soda

Canada Dry Ginger Ale

Code Red

Mr. Jones Fufu Berry soda, and mobile tap for Yankee-Shoes

Aye M'lord

*turns comm dial and presses comm button again*

Bring in the Death Star III

Aye M'lord

It will only be afew minutes now, plenty of time to get the popcorn and soda up here.

*Becomes rather frightened by the thought of the planet he is standing on being destoyed. Begins runing about franticly, and trips over a dead vogon. Just before hitting the gound, skullock is suddenly distracted by the large thing coming to destroy the planet, and misses hitting the ground and takes off into the air.

Whoa!

Shall I transport you and Craxus into the viewing lounge? Lots of soda and popcorn.

oh wow, ur doing well, ring the bell,
go to the dell, in your shell,
cause u have no trouble, killing bubbles,
since the vogons aren't attacking,
they're just smacking,
some fleas, with peas,
somewhere else, away from here,
drinking beer, and writing poetry.

spook

*Craxus still on the battlefield with his dual yellow lightsabre's hacking away, as his fleet of ghould pyramid ships are firing there high energy blast lances at the squads of Vogons.*

HDS. Would you teleport me up, I think we can take the Vogons out from space.

Hmmm...sit here and be destroyed along with the planet, or go and watch it. Gee, that's a hard choice, I'll have to think about it.
















Get me the out of here!

*2 Deathglider-esq craft descend into the atmosphere, position themselves over Craxus and Skullock. A port Irises open on the belly of each, 5 rings descend around the two figures. The rings transport the two to an identicle pair of rings in the veiwing lounge. The transports return to the Black Lightning (Imperial fleet command ship). The Imperial Fleet backs away from the planet, flanking the Goa'uld fleet in its withrawl from the planets orbit (and blast radouis).*

*Suddenly the Death Star III appears out of a blue hyperspace vortex. The 300 kilometer wide craft easily dwarfs the fleets. 8 big bright green energy beams combine and a 9th beam pushes throught the intesecting beams and shoots out towards the planet. The beam strikes the crust and easily peirces it, plowing through the mantal and outer core and impacting the inner core, causing it to violently explode, tearing the planet to peices ranging from 10 microns to texas in size.*

Ooh! Ahh! *sips StrawberryLime Jones Soda and munches on *

Hey... all our friends on board and okay?

And who's gonna scrape dead vogon goo off our windshield?

Kinda has a "Resturant at the end of the universe" feel, don't ya think? Only a little less grand.

*Munches *

Everyone was transported into the lounge.

*Sips soda and munches on *

As to the Vogon goo, we use flame throwers in toxic atmospheres to clean that stuff off.

*fleet turns to Venus to facilitate cleaning the Vogon goo off.*

*Daedalus, feeling creative, takes control of the entire Emperial Fleet and the Death Star mk. III, purging the atmosphere from all compartments, save those occupied by Our Heroes, killing the crews. *

*As you do*

D@mn Dastardly D!

...well....that's less windows to clean I guess.

*The window cleaning being finished, the ships depart Venus orbit and enter yellow/gold Jump Point*

So, where would you like to be dropped off?

Where is D now anyway? I mean, isn't his planet gone?

*presses putton on console that raises the Barbara Striesand fire wall*

Well after that lengthy battle, I'm going to get my ships serviced at the nearest starbase, so long & thanks for all the fish!!!

*A giant hypergate opens near the resterant, all the CGE ships enter & disappear forever, the gate then closes*

uh... that was Terrania...

What was? The planet I just blew up?