h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

BeeBee! Over here girl! Good girl!

*tracks the fleeing pug and lets loose a few rounds of King Edwards*

Pok-Pok-Pok-Pok-Pok-Pok

*Startled by the noise, the Reverend attempts to move towards Sherry but blinded by the pope hat merely falls over. His gun goes off with a distinctive little "POP" and promptly falls apart. A bullet wedges itself in the tub, and a small, barely noticeable trickle of sudsy water begins to run down the side.*

BeeBee - Mooff, Wooo! (Finally, a friendly voice!)

*She follows Amy*

*grabs hold of BeeBee's collar and swings up to ride on her shoulders*

Run towards the door, BeeBee.

*unfortunately, BeeBee runs to a side door that is covered by a heavy velvet curtain* squeezing under the curtain they find themselves going down a stone spiral staircase into the crypt*

*Enters, and immediately dives to the floor as a few rounds of potatoes hammer into the doorframe.*

Whoa!!!! It's me! Butch!

BeeBee - Gniggle, gnuff-gnuff (Stairs, I hate stairs.)

*she carefully makes her way down, snuffling as she goes*

Foof, fnu-foof, gner-nerf. (Something smells familiar. I wish I had a better nose.)

*Stops firing at Butch's shout.*

CATCHUM THAT SACRIFICE!

*Runs after Bee Bee, through the green door*

Butch! What are you doing here?

Wait...don't tell me...the Ranch?

*Butch nods*


That posse! And knowing them, they're probably on the way here, too. And we don't even have their Atelier hostess!

*Turns to the reverend.*
Pope! Hand over that emerald now! I need it to power up the cloning vats again. I want to double, no triple, my army before that posse arrives.

*BeeBee and Amy hurtle through the crypt following BeeBee's nose*

Keep going BeeBee, those soldier celeries can't be far behind us!

*Feels around in his pockets and finds the small green sparkling mint.*

Well, I suppose a promise is a promise, but in the name of decency I insist you remove that man from beneath that woman's skirts!

*Pushes up the pope hat to find the Celery and catches a glimpse of Butch, and immediately pulls the hat down again over his face.*


Why, it's the man I shot and killed! Apparently I didn't kill him! That means I am not a murderer! Jelloluhiah!


*Overcome with relief and joy, the Reverend runs to embrace Butch, but merely falls over again. The Test Mint is jarred loose from his fingers, slides under the velvet curtain, and goes clattering down the spiral staircase.*

The emerald! After it, Butch! Guards!

*Runs after the emerald. His heavy boots can be heard descending the spiral staircase. Several Celery Warrior Clones follow.*

*BeeBee was not made for this. Leaping down, skipping every other step she is pretty much in a controlled fall and her only effective brake is her tummy, which catches on every other step. She hopes that is a large landing at the bottom she can tumble onto.*

*A peppermint candy bounces down the stairs, takes one bounce off BeeBee's nose, and continues falling.*

*Amy twists around to see who is throwing mints but can see no one* the stairs flatten out into a spiral ramp before joining the floor of the crypt* flickering torchlight casts frightening shadows*

Keep running BeeBee and I'll look out for a good place to hide.

*Sherry calmly leans down and lifts an edge of her skirt to address the ruffian beneath*

Sir, Ah assure yew, mah backup gun is not ticklish in the least. Now, unhand me and come out of there before Ah shoot yew in the back.

*Sherry draws her primary gun from where it was hidden inside her cloak and pokes the man in the back*

*BeeBee increase her speed, but this has more to do with gravity that her own efforts. Her feet still touch down with every leap, which keeps her from going into a slide and then a roll, but it cannot be said that she has any real control over her descent anymore. It should be reiterated - BeeBee really, really hates stairs! The only comfort she has is knowing that if she over takes the mint that passed her she can eat it.*

*And then BeeBee hits the Crypt floor. Sensing she is about to loose it BeeBee goes into a "down" position (for greater stability, you cannot fall off the floor) and slides on her belly.*

Gnuff, ferfle, gner-gner? (Now where did that mint go?)