h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*curses, jumps to feet and runs back toward her horse*

looks like everyone's leaving!

*Carmel has been searching her wagon for a weapon but has found nothing more effective than a spatula. As she cannot remember the command that will unleash the cute and pudgy fury of the little dogs, and she has been looking for her chance to be helpful. Spotting Zeppo she mounts, Ruppy, her fastest pug, and gives chase, BeeBee and Tidbit close behind.*

I won't loose you this time, Zeppo! I'm a commin'! I'm...I'm...I'm..
I'm ready doing this, aren't I? Oh, my. *faints

Luckly, he foot is caught in Ruppy's collar. Tidbit retrievs the spatula. BeeBee has Blue Bear.

Pugs - Woowoowooo!

*The sound of whisky bottles exploding comes from the saloon. Witty pouts.*

Now that is a darn shame. Looks like we'll have to go to Plan B for that cocktail, Sol.

*Joins Witty in mournful contemplation of the destruction of the Saloon*

*jubilant at the thought that one of her fire bolts actually did some damage, whilst still wielding the frying pan*

Never mind girls, we can treat ourselves to a whisky or five once we have Lil back.

*a chestnut pony careers into the street, skidding badly on jello. Billy is on baord, his arm around a strange woman (strange to the salonistas)*

GIT BACK! GIT BACK! THERE'S DYNAMITE GONNA BLOW ANY MINUTE!!!

*Beats the fuse with his hat.*

OH DANG OH DANG OH OH OH DANG!

IS THAT THE SCHOOLMARM? YEA I NEED SOME HEP! YA GOTTA GET ME OUTTA HERE! THE DANG YELLER DOG TRICKED ME!

That cowboy grabbed the manual. *worried* I hope they don't take it out on Miz Lil when they find out it's a fake.

Billy, have you got a new girlfriend already? Dynamite? Where?

*has been joined by the other disaffected apes*

Ook! Ook! [Listen! It's the puppies!]

Second Ape: Ook! [Over there by the corral!]
Disgruntled Ape: Ook. [I'm gonna go play with them.]

*the apes shamble over and sit down with the pug dogs in front of the store. This has the inadvertent effect of protecting them from danger*

Third Ape: Ook. [Isn't this bunny cute? I could just love it to death.]

*sea listens*

does anyone hear yelling coming from the corral?

*stopping at the coach* This here's a schoolteacher who was in the livery barn with the outlaw jellos. I took the liberty of removing her before the building blows up. Ladies shouldn't get blowed up, I reckon.

*lets the woman drop to the ground (feet first) and raises his hat*

Why, thank you, sir. Much obliged.

*Sherry curtsies to Billy*

There are still two men in that there buildin'!

*growling his words* Men that have been shooting at us, ma'am. Purty stupid men that have went and lit a fuse without leavin the building if you don't mind my sayin so.

/* Zeppo spots Titania near Sunjello's building. He runs over and nips at Gandalf's feet, sending her horse galloping at full speed to the other side of the corral. He runs back towards the road out of town, and barks again. d'Elaphant trots up beside him.*/

Zeppo! Are you OK?

But... but surely...

*Ducks head*

Ah suppose yer right, Mister Kid, sir... Still, it's a shame...

*Looks back at the corral*

*Watches helplessly as the fuse burns to within a hair's breath of the powder keg.*

An' I never got to go ter my retirem'nt home in Bolivia...

Oh dang!

*The fuse burns its last. A huge blast engulfs the building, destroying the two building to either side, and setting them all afire. There isn't a trace of jello.*

*scoops up the puppies as the shock wave hits and knocks them flat. Another Ape cuddles the bunny while Disgruntled Ape holds the puppies against his chest. All the apes curl up into fetal position as pieces of wood rain down on them*

*Billy is knocked off Dandy, who trots over and huddles with Bonnie and Clyde*

Oof!

*Is knocked on her tiny bottom. Stares at the building in shock*

Oh, that poor jella...

*hopes there is some water nearby as debris rains down on the coach and horses*

*ears ringing* What?