h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A stagecoach hurtles down the street, the driver brandishing a shotgun*

*flies overhead out of gunshot range*

[Cut to the coach from a different angle; a red blur is in the foreground. Focus so that the coach becomes blurred and the red blur becomes Zero, who jumps out of the view.]

*Sees gunfire, starts returning fire with the nano-gun*

There they are! Take that you slimey varmints!

There is no map of Peta Gulch so let's not be too particular about exact locations. All the buildings and corrals are in one place, that'll do

*takes aim and fires into City Hall, completely destroying the big front window*

[A plasma shot from between two buildings misses the coach completely and (hopefully) hits someone who is /trying/ to hit the coach.]

/* Zeppo pokes his head out from behind a building, then darts away. */

*keys mike, carried away with excitement*

Eeeeeek! Eeeeeeeeeeek! Ant Lady having fun too?

*replies to Styx* Yep! I'm just covering X.

*A rifle blazes away from the window of the General Store. It is punctuated by blasts from a shotgun*

*Witty aims at the General Store window and directs a stream of boiling water at the gunfire emanating from it.*

*The plasma shot hits LittleJoeJello who was firing from behind a waterbarrel. Slime flies in all directions.*

Butch: Dang! They got LittleJoe!

*Fires at the stagecoach as it passes.*

*this being a small town, the coach is very soon at the other side of it*

Whoa Bonnie, Whoa Clyde! *Amos takes up the reins and maneuvers the coach backward and forward until it is at a slight angle but still facing away from town. Then he reaches under the box and pushes a big orange button*

*the boot begins to unfold, and the muzzle of a gatling gun emerges*

*Amos leaps down and throws open a door to the passenger compartment for cover*

*Munchkin takes a couple of potshots at the City Hall as they pass. Suddenly his hat flies off and he is knocked backwards into the coach with an oof*

*Reb appears on a horse ahead of the wagon firing with both six-shooters. A hail of lead flies around the Posse's ears*

*on radio* Styx! I think I hit one! Winged him, anyway.

*Amos wheels and throws up the shotgun, firing both barrels at the horseman*

*The shotgun firing from the General Store stops firing abruptly as the hot water streams in the building. A moment later the rifle firing stops too. There is a long pause, then just the rifle starts up again, but at double the rate.* see http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F90857?thread=186739&skip=0&show=20

/* Seeing the coach at the far end of town, d'Elaphant begins his charge into the town. */

Heigh-ho! Away!


I hope that was the plan. I think that was the plan. I should have paid better attention.

*knocked out of boot when big gun came out, but still holding radio*

Oof! Munchkin hit, but we got one maybe two!

*jumps up into thoroughbrace lacings and scrambles into coach* Munchkin OK? Medicine in backpack!