h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oh, and cookies and biscuits mustn't be forgotten

FABT

I'd love to post comments on why I choose to take certain suggestions and not others, but it would take all day!! This is certainly a massive response to my little ol' essay!
Dave

Very good....the worst English accents I have ever heard are the ones used by Americans attempting to be English bad guys.

I don't think I have an accent, though I am assured I do.

An American male found my voice/accent "very sexy" not the right forum to discuss this

The only chatrooms I have ever used...another story...

I like this entry!

Thanks Babe!
Dave

BTW, I fixed up the article a bit. I used some of the stuff you guys suggested but others, although conceivably fine examples of English accents, (no offense intended) would have no real use in a chatroom. Any more comments / suggestions would be apreciated.
Thanks again
Dave

Maybe we should have an article on "how to pretend to be a woman in a lesbian chatroom"? or would that be very very evil?

it would be evil




















lets get writting!
FABT

I just can't imagine how I'd do it without breaking the house rules tho

Great entry

I don't know if anyone's mentioned this, but where a Merkin would say "I visited him Thursday", an Englisher would be more likely to say "I visited him ON Thursday"

Also, American do their dates as month/date/year, rather than the English date/month/year

Here is another example: In the US we would "go directly to the store when we got home." Whereas GB: "would go to the store directly we got home."

Am I correct on this one? I see the "when" dropped often in GB writing.

MJM ACE

I feel the need to thank all of you for the excellent response I have recieved for this article! I think its great to see so many people enjoying my writing and taking it far more seriously than I do. This warrants a smiley (and I make it a rule to never use smileys).
Thank you
Dave

I know this is an old comment, but I felt the need to adress it. In concern to the reply stating that English people get confused upon hearing American state abbreviations, I would love to add this to my article, it is quite funny and follows the tone of the peice. Their is a small problem though, most americans I meet do not know their own state abbreviations. No matter who I state "18 m md" to, I most always recieve a confused response, no matter the nationality.
Cheerio guv'nor
Dave

regarding english people going to the store.

i went to the store as soon as i got home.

or

as soon as i got home i went to the store

or

i went straight to the store after i got home

or

the first thing i did after i got home was go to the store

or

i nipped home, then went to the store



unlikely to use the word directly at all

also the hole phrase is something i personally wouldnt use.
i wuld be more likely to find some long convoluted way of saying it. to my mind, to say i wnet to the store as soon as i got home doesnt make sense, i went to the loo as soon as i got home does. or i only went home for a minute because i had to go to the store.

FABT

More importantly, we say 'shop', not 'store'.

in most cases yes, but we tend to use store on occasion, mainly because we have a shop in out village called the 'village store' and we used to have one called 'homestores' it's kind of short hand for that.

FABT

Absolutely, I never use the word "store" it's either "shop" or "supermarket".
I would "store" things like squirrels store nuts for the winter.
But then, you Americans call squirrels "tree rats" don't you?

As for pretending to be female to chat in a lesbian chatroom, why don't you just watch "Sex in the City"? Much more fun.

Can I watch you watching 'Sex in the City'?

(Dusting down an o-l-d joke for a rare outing)

do you have to be female to chat in a lesbian chat room. cant you just say 'i'm a guy but i got some questions'?

or, even more fun, why not pretend to be a guy in a lesbian chat room who has some questions!?!?!??

FABT

Not much lesbian action in "sex and the city", generally....