h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey Jimmy, your article made me chuckle.

Impersonating English has many pitfalls for the unsuspecting - it always makes me laugh when I see Americans try out the "stock" English accents that are either cockney or upper class - however it has to be said the majority of us speak very differently!!

In fact, there are hundreds of English accents depending on where in the country we come from - each area with its own dialect and even its own vocabulary which means even fellow English speakers can't always understand each other!!

There's a few suggested variations for your number 10 point:

Many (but not all) people say "know what I mean?" frequently in their conversations - only it's often pronounced "nah't ameen".

Also used liberally at the end of any sentence are "see wot I'm sayin?" and "ya know?" (hardly anyone pronounces "you" by the way).

Also many people often say "yeah?" or "right" all the time.

Let me illustrate with a sentence as perhaps seen on shows like Trisha or Central Weekend (shows like your Jerry Springer).

"Ok, right, ya know, like, when we're talking, yeah, we say, ya know, stuff like this, d'ya see wot I'm sayin, yeah? "

Oh and here's a sample of a dialect local to me that I don't speak and have great difficulty understanding!! "Ow am ya, me ducks?"

My advice to fakers is to pick an obscure English dialect if you want to be really different and stand out from the Mockneys and toffs!

are you from Cornwall or devon by any chance?

Eye up ma duck! is farly typical from the locals

I have an accent all my own! (and thats not it!)

Hey, person with the very long nickname!

Not from Devon or Cornwall no!
"Ow am ya" springs from a little further north but I only talk like that when I'm taking the mickey out of my work colleagues, the yamyams.

Here they refer to people as "me' luver" as well, such as "Ow you be doin',me' lover" I always worry about that one...

sounds like you're in Leicester or Nottingham, me duck!