h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As Cleo said, you only have to asp.

Glad you`re all in such good form
(that pun, old chap... hardly the norm!)
Please continue, as you will
I`ll be around, but not until
this "home improvement" project`s done
( Or my enthusiasm`s gone!)

How can you,
Divide in two,
So as to be,
True to all?

Oh dear - I'm no poet? But a big to the overworked

There once was a man good with his hands
who kept tools in the pockets of his pants
they came in quite handy
at home repair he was quite dandy
but they tended to hinder his dance!

(I bet you thought I was going somewhere else with that - didn't you? )

No, my dear,I`m too refined..
It never even crossed my mind...

.........La..la..la.......

Dear Also Ran knows how it feels
to glide around on silver wheels
But in the water...watch her go
she`d leave you far behind, and so
whenever I see schools of fish
I think of Also Ran and wish
that she could swim as well in air
and leave behind her faithful chair.

*To AR1, with love and respect*
L

I had a mo to call and say,
There's not much time to post today.
W*rk intrudes and by and by,
I just have time to whisper hi.

*pops head in door...sees that Lurcher is snoozing again...tiptoes very quietly in and places a pan of warm water by Lurcher...gently lifts his arm and puts his hand in the water...tiptoes out, closing door behind her...giggles madly in the hallway as she skips off to her room*

*Wakes, to find his hand in a pan of cool water.Given the ambient temperature in here, I would estimate that, at normal cooling rates, someone placed my hand in this water approx 2 hours ago. This pre-supposes that the water was warm at the time of the immersion. Too hot and I would have woken up, too cold and the same would apply.*

Who, why, and how..the question lingers
Now I`ve got five wrinkled fingers

The pan of warm water (as you probably know)
causes the bladder to start to flow
An old juvenile trick I've heard it said
that if done correctly makes one "wet the bed"
Of course I myself am too mature
to have done anything so childish (I am sure)

posts

*toasts!*

mmmm ghost Toasties, the favorite breakfast food of the thuroughly dead!

!pucciH (sorry - that was a reverse hiccup)

Sounds painful.

This thread, with its rhymes, is such a delight.
It helps H2G2 to reach a new height.
For witty palaver, and japery galore,
It ought to be noticed. We must ask for more.
So, Lurcher, you've started a really great trend,
Which still is unfolding. We hope it won't end.

It's late and I fear that I must say goodnight
to leave you alone though just doesn't feel right!
5:30am comes early in the morn
If I don't get some sleep I won't reach my "norm"
It's already 10:30pm here so I must go
tomorrow, from work - I'll be back on don't you know!

Body hair wrangling, what can that be,
Are you a rancher with a herd we can see?
Is there some peril (though it sounds strange)
Of body hair stampeding all over the range?
Do you ride herd all day and all night,
And brand body hair by dawn's early light?
And what is the pay?(I've heard people say),
A wrangler gets a dollar a day.
(plus beans and coffee)