h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Body Hair Wrangling" is a very serious occupation
if not done than rampant hairs would be swamping the nation!
The goal you see is to let them run free
without causing traffic jams or clogging the seas!
So those dedicated individuals (such as myself)
do our best (one-on-one) to prevent such a hell
However it's only on the ship that it's a threat
those s have so much hair you could call them a "pet"
So fear not dear Count as they won't be tempted
to come to this conversation - we're exempted!

It`s so good to see the standards keep rising
with such talent around though, it`s hardly surprising!
My visits, of late, have been quite sporadic
this is because I am quite nomadic
One day I`m here, the next I`m away
that being the case, I`d just like to say
while I can`t appear on a regular basis
dont let this thread decline in a stasis
Keep posting, dear friends, keep the verse flowing
like a ball in a rally..to`ing and fro`ing

That being said..while I am here
who`s going to join me in supping some beer!!!

I love the way it flows
It's golden color glows...

the taste is so sublime
i'm sure I'll find the time!

Nothing can surpass
this Heaven in a glass
Drink deep, and when you`ve done
we`ll have another one.

By the way Lurcher - how tall are you? (not in your wolf form of course - just in your human form)

Just curious!

The measurements have just been done
In stocking feet, I`m six foot one.

And weight for height, I think is fine
I turn the scales at one eight nine

So now you know, and you`ll not waver
Are you going to return the favour ?

In height I am but 5'9"
My weight (I'm happy to say) is in decline
Shorter and lighter than you by far
(I still turn a few heads when I enter a bar!)
Brunette is my hair and dark brown are my eyes
"voluptuous" I believe you call my size
Long in the leg and quick on my feet
and a wit that you'll find is hard to beat!
No supermodel can I claim to be
but I have much more fun - I'm sure (he he)

Modest, too!

Well - we have to work with what we've got! (except for those who have lots of money for plastic surgery!)

Tomorrow is Wednesday
the week just drags on
It's 12:30 here and
I'm soon to be gone
So one last farewell
I'm off for the night
if I don't get some sleep
tomorrow will be a fright!

Wednesday a.m, all murky and grey
Not looking forward at all to today
A day when I say goodbye to a friend
his funeral service I have to attend

Sad day for all it will be - that is true
but you do know that your friend will be there with you?
You may not see him - but oh don't you fear
he will be watching those he holds dear
so although there may be a tear in your eye
as you walk away - smile - give it a good try
conforted he will be - a smile on his face
that his life caused fond thoughts - even in that dreary place!

Lurcher

Happy Valentine's Day Lurcher!

Here some I brought to you
it's the appropriate thing to do
It's Valentines Day
and my heart likes to play
and eat the whole day through!

(passes out in a induced coma)

Thank you Michele, the sentiment`s sweet
As is the chocolate, which I shall eat
Later, when I`ll have a little more time
Until then, you have a great Valentine

Strolling along
where has everyone gone?
I'm all alone
everyone else has gone home
Tomorrow I'll see
if they noticed me
until then I'll wander
my thoughts I will ponder
*She continues on her way
at the end of the day...*

huh?! what?!
(looks around bleary-eyed) oh drat! Fell asleep on the keyboard! (wipes the drool off of the keys...rubs her cheek where the "key marks" are slowly disappearing)



It's off to bed for me... she mumbles as she trudges up the 368 stairs to her room in the tower...

Sorry I missed you Michele, I was in the middle of a personality crisis.....mine!

Here I am, it`s Friday night
I should be down the Pub now, right?
But no, I can`t, not for a week
I`m so p****d off, it`s hard to speak.
More than a week, the doctor stated
(I feel like getting moderated)
Apparently, drink and medication
would cause an adverse situation
Until this infection I have caught
is laid to rest, it seems I ought
to take it easy, not imbibe
my feelings, well, I can`t describe
Good sense, I know, must now prevail
but,oh, could I do with an ale.

Well here you go
you'll feel much better -
I'll go real slow
so you don't you fret now
*massages his back,
(strong fingers you see)
and now your temples
then I'll let you be*
Now off to bed
and don't you worry
it's all in your head
you'll feel better in a hurry!

From birthday binges I have come,
To rest awhile and say to some,
Good folks I much regret,
I was away from you and yet.
In spirit I was close at hand,
Behind is where I chose to stand.
The draught that played upon your neck,
That made you shiver and say heck.
Was just my spirit passing by,
To blow a kiss and just say hi!

So that was it. I should have guessed
so I don`t need this thermal vest!