h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Upon the door is a brass plaque which reads "Office of the Cheif of Staff" underneath the plaque is a Post-It note which reads "Note to self: speak to Estates about their spelling."
Bookshelves line the walls, containing everything from the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Player's Handbook (1st Edition) to Flora and Fauna of the Kingdom of 2legs. The curtains are made of heavy tartan (ancient Farqharson) and above the fireplace a pair of LARP-safe claymores are crossed under a shield which bears the Farqharson clan crest. A tray of rock cakes sits on top of a small filing cabinet, opening the drawers reveals more rock cakes.
The antique oak desk is piled with paper work which has been filed using the 'put it somewhere where it won't slide off' method. The part of the desk which isn't covered in paperwork houses a super-fast PC, on the side of the PC is a partially torn-off label; the words "Property of Crater Labs, Inc." can just be read.
A green La-Z-boy sits in the corner, and when he's not on the computer Mr. Dreadful can usually be found there with a cup of tea and a good book.

*Elentari, passing by, waves to her fellow Chief of Staff*

They spelt it right on my door.

*Peeks in to see if Mr. D is all comfy and spys the rock cakes*

I see Mrs. D. has been by. I like what you've done with your space. Very nice.

*Grabs onto desk as while the Server Quake passes.*

Umm... where was I? Oh yes, more chairs... sometime I'll get a couple more chairs and a coffee table so I can have people round for tea.

And a robot for transporting rock cakes around Alabaster House would be nice... do we have a direct line to CLI from here?

We will have to check with the Secretary of State about CLI. She is the one with the actual contract with them.

I could murder one of those rock cakes.

Help yourself, I have lots!

Server quakes indeed. I'm having a difficult time getting anything to post this morning.

It's playing havoc with my filing.

*Mr. D watches as a precarious pile of paper finally parts company with his desk and spreads itself over the floor.*

That's it! I forgot to ask earlier if I'd be allowed a robotic sheep dog to help with my herding duties.

Absolutely!


I suspect a certain individual is amassing sheep in an attempt at world domination. You know who I mean. In addition to a sheepdog, we may need a robotic sheep to infiltrate the herd.

I'll make a note of that... does this individual have a code name so we don't give the game away?

Code name is "Stinky". But if we use that everyone will immediately know who we mean. How about "Floater"? Since we all know what floats.

Ducks?

Sorry, I'll get on it right away.

Sure.....let them think we mean ducks. Brilliant.

quacks?

Erm, Hyp, the Vice President does get a top secret clearance for all classified and confidential material. Perhaps you forgot that?

Of course you do, dear. *pats him on the arm since she can't reach his head*

It's standard procedure If you were to die, () I'd need to know everything when I assume the Presidency. If, I mean.

If I were to die, then there would be a new election. I had to promise everyone that you wouldn't ever take over before they agreed to vote for us.

*As the last of the labourers and slaves tramps out Mr. D admires his new furniture: a second recliner, a coffee table and a little corner unit for the kettle.*

*Picks up the phone.*

Madam President, I've got that new stuff now, would you like to pop to my office for tea and rock cakes?

*skids to a stop inside the CoS's doorway*

Did I hear you mention rock cakes?