h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You certainly did! How do you take your tea?

Black with one sugar please.

*Makes the tea, hands Hyp her . Shifts some paperwork off the new recliner.*

I swear this stuff breeds... anyway, have a seat.

*Mr. D opens the middle draw of the filing cabinet, where the iced rock cakes are kept and arranges some on a plate before putting it on the coffee table.*

Oh my. They're even iced. *takes one, then reaches over and takes another*

We really must find an appropriate way to thank Mrs. D for the lovely rock cakes. A commendation or a medal or write a play about her or something.

*Sits in the other recliner.*

That's a bloody good idea.

She's such a dear. Do you think she would prefer a musical or a comedy or a drama or what?

*is flying past the office when he overhears this comment*

*pokes his head through the open window*

Oh, a musical! I'd be happy to sing an aria in praise of her rock cakes for you.

Excellent. Almost everyone likes musicals, so I think it would be appropriate.

Good. I'm glad that's settled. Now who shall we get to play Mrs. D?

I've got an idea - how about............Mrs D



And another idea..........Let's do the show right here


*a childhood spent watching too many MickeyRooney/Judy Garland movies

Great ideas. We'll need for Mr. D to confirm it with Mrs. D. Then we'll get busy on the script and props.

We will need rock cakes for energy while we're doing all this, of course.

Shouldn't we be in a barn?

Is the president going to dance?

Try stopping her!

I'll speak to Mrs. D today to see what she thinks.

Oh, and as for the rock cakes: the top drawer of the filing cabinet contains plain rock cakes and the middle drawer contains iced rock cakes. I haven't found out what's in the bottom drawer yet... it seems to be stuck.

I don't think we have a Minister for Stuck Drawers. We will have to find a way to open it ourselves. And if it also contains rock cakes, then we jolly well need to get it open.

To be honest I'm relucatant to open it... I think it came from CLI originally.

*Mr. D is fiddling with the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, still unable to get it open. Eventually he kicks it out of frustration and a small panel opens up on the side. Opening the panel reveals a small number pad and a display which reads "CRATER LABS INC. PLEASE ENTER KEY CODE."*

Hmmm... I think I'd better speak to Affy about this.

*Arrives on the scene*

Hello! Came as soon as I received word. What's the situation?

*Gestures at the filing cabinet.*

I got it from a second-hand furniture place because battered old filing cabinets provide a better ambience than shiny new ones... the guy said it was ex-CLI but that didn't worry me unduly until I tried opening the bottom drawer, which seemed to be stuck... then, when I was fiddling with it earlier this little panel opened up and asked me for a key code.

Ah! No wonder. This is a Recursive Sequence Generation Lock. Or as I like to call it, "An Infernal Machine." Basically, there's a number generator here that bases its number generation on the numbers that you enter. This generation is based on a few simple rules.

The first rule is that the number 1X - by which I mean the number consisting of 1 followed by the string of digits denoted by the letter X, not 1 multiplied by X - generates the number X plus 1. For example, the number 12345 generates the number 2346.

Second, if the number X generates the number Y, then the number 2X generates the number Y, but with its first digit removed. For instance, we know that 123 generates the number 24, so the number 2123 generates the number 4.

Third, if X generates Y then 3X generates 1Y. Again, since 123 generates 24, then 3123 generates 124.

Fourth, if X generates Y, then 4X generates YY (Y repeated). So, since 123 generates 24, we also know that 4123 generates 2424.

Fifth, if X generates Y then 5X generates the reversal of Y. For example, since 1234 generates 235, we also know that 51234 will generate 532.

Oh, and I should also mention that this is an earlier model, so it will only accept a "1" in the right-hand most position. That's not an official rule, more of a glitch....but a beneficial glitch as it significantly narrows down just what that right-hand most position could be.

Just another fine example of CLI's puzzle-based security systems. All you need to do is use those six rules to find a number that will generate itself.

*Cough* I do happen to know what one such number is....BUT that would fall into the line of customer service and require a small payment that I'm sure funding exists for.

So either you can figure the number out for yourself (highly recommended), or I can make this an official customer service visit. That'll be good, because it'll let me claim to have actually "worked" this morning, and I can justify wasting time on the Internet later when my MotivaTron comes around (I never should have built him...)

So. What'll it be?