h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've had a pipe running from my chair to the Little Chaps Room since '71...

*ponders a suitable glass size for Munchers and finally selects "mighty quaff" size*

Here you go old boy .... you might have to use both hands there, what !

Now Inkers pass over that decanter of yours .... Bassemans port I take it eh. Splendid tipple !

Ah, marvelous what. Now then, too find this kitchen.
*Strides of, best turn-up forward, out of the door and off down the corridor.*

I say, I never thought I'd live to see the day when one of the Chaps went to the kitchen. A chap's place is at the bar - don'tyerknow....



Bassers

Comfortably installed on the customer side, of course!

*Returns triumphantly followed by a sheepish looking chef and two bearers carrying a side of pork, a spit, a basket of apples, several large pots, a bowl full of bread dough, a butter churn, crockery, cutlery, and other assorted essentials.*
Well get on with it man. Soon have some pork sandwiches knocked up.

Looks like we might just have time for pre-lunch drink then, Munchers old chap, providing old Redders can be prevailed upon to do the honours.!! Shrewd move, installin` that chair you know, saved an awful lot of waitin` around !!

Serve me up a then old boy!

Can't remember the last time I had a good pork - I'll have to ask Godfrey.

Pollers old boy - don't start, or I'll have to shout "MATRON" at the top of my voice. Most undignified for a chap of my standing what....



Bassers

Right-o Pollers ... one very splendid coming up toot sweet.

Did someone say matron?

Its not time for my bed bath again is it?

Well do try to not get too close to the roast while you are doing so, theres a chap. I hope everyone likes crackling, Chef seems to be making rather a lot.

Well do try to not get too close to the roast while you are doing so, theres a chap. I hope everyone likes crackling, Chef seems to be making rather a lot.

I may be getting on a bit, but there's nothing wrong with my hearing, Munchers old boy!

Crackling? can`t beat a bit of crackling, I say.
Not that I`ve had any for a while, crackling that is.
Or the other, come to that. Still, with spring here, mebbe the old sap will start to rise.
(Now there`s a good feed line!!)

Can a fellow get an around here.

evidently not...

With all this talk about pork sandwiches, crackling and matron's bed baths I jollywell hope there's a drink to be had or I may be in for one of my nasty turns what..

(wanders around checking flower pots and mumbling about matron's sponge...)

TF

Best of luck to you dear boy!
You've more chance of finding a beer in those potted plants than of getting one brought to you.

Redders, I think there's a leak in one of your pipes. Mind if I tap it?