h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A600085

This is somewhat flippant, but has a serious point. If anyone can help with a transliteration less likely to cause controversy (read the entry and you'll see what I mean ) please let me know as soon as possible.

A Pacifist.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..... and several more ha's

I can see your title getting moderated, which is a shame; I can't think of a decent alternative. Barg H'roff Kwyk, perhaps...

Interestingly enough, the two skills you mention are actually recognised in the martial arts. "Saturating the place with your absence", as one of my teachers once put it.

Although it is a witty, interesting entry, it does not completely meet the Editorial guidelines as it is not that informative nor does it appear to be based on reality. Not meaning to be harsh, that's just how it came across to me as the article stands currently. I would see it needing some revisions before going into the Edited Guide.

Kenrick

Perversely enough, Kenrick, there is some basis in reality.I think your post & mine got crossed. The skills of awareness and avoidance are quite established in the martial arts.

Having said that, I don't think it's enough to meet the guidelines. A pity, because it's mega funny

I'd take issue with that. It is *absolutely* based in reality. And it's intended to inform people that absolutely the best approach in these situations is to saturate the place with your absence (top phrase ). In some way it's also meant to point out (indirectly) that learning martial arts in order to win a fight is going about the whole business the wrong way.

OK, it's very flippant. But the point is quite serious.

PS - I'm not suggesting that many people actually learn martial arts in order to win fights. In my experience, most of the people who progress very far are not the sort of characters who get in fights in the first place. So, in some indirect way via some gags, this entry.

Hoovooloo

Speaking as a martial artist, I didn't read any serious point into the article. I just thought it was a good-natured p**s-take. Perhaps your point could be made a bit clearer... unless it's just me being thick.

Ploppy - if one person has laughed, this entry has achieved its intention. If it gets *any* further, that's a bonus.

Cheers!

. I'm going off line now...

I suppose "good-natured p***-take" is fair. How could I make it clearer? (preferably while retaining the comedy value.... )

H

Great stuff! This Entry probably wouldn't get in the Edited Guide, but it is perfect "h2g2 Post" material. Have you thought of submitting it there? The "Post" office can be found on http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/U54963 .

Thanks. If I've made you laugh, my work here is done.

I didn't think of it as a contribution to the Post. That's something which may be debated. But why not Edited Entry? I must quote the Guidelines:

1. Write About Reality
A fight can be as real as life gets. Nuff said.

2. Be Original
Well, it's not an original *principle* - but I'd put forth the presentation as original.

3. Fill in the Gaps
Didn't look to be honest, but I can tell without looking that there's nothing there about this specific martial art because I made it up.

4. Be Instructive, Informative and Factual
Check, check and check. Add also flippant, admittedly. But I've tried to be all of the above.

5. Don't Try too Hard to be Funny
Hmmm. Not for me to say. Comments? (a very personal thing, humour, I know).

6. Write in Your Own Style
Definitely.

7. Write About What You Know
I use this technique. I am still a student. I have known masters.

8. Research Your Entry Thoroughly
I made it up, apart from the bits I didn't. Those I knew already. (Bruce Lee quote from Enter the Dragon and other writings, comments on martial arts from various sources).

9. Try to be Well-balanced
Where I have mentioned other (i.e. real) martial arts, I have been as accurate as I can. Anyone out else there who's studying or has studied a martial art will I hope agree.

10. Plan Your Entry
Planned and done. Short-ish, to the point etc.

Is it really so unsuitable?

Actually, I don't seriously expect it to go in, but it would be nice if it could. In the meantime, I'm just trying to spread some laughter, and a bit of healthy pacifism. Apart from anything else, the training required for the proper performance of technique 2 will get you fit and healthy!

H

Hmm... You do have some good points there, H. Also, there was a new Edited Entry about "The Joy of Socks" a couple of weeks back that was no more whimsical than this Entry.
As regards the "Post", I should have added that plenty of Entries have appeared in the "Post" and then later gone into the Edited Guide, so please don't think that it's an either/or situation. And an appearance in the "Post" would give the Entry the wider audience that it certainly deserves.

Run-Lak ell would be a good replacement name.

I should also point out that jeet kune do was developed because the martial arts of the time (of which bruce lee was a master) were much to constrained to the traditional forms, meaning that when he needed to move to the next position in response to a threat, the form would not allow it.

mentioning this sort of thing will extend it, make it more informative, while still leaving the p***-take part intact.

also, most of the best self-defence classes start with learning how not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, so this entry does make a valid point. perhaps that sort of comment could be used to make it even more relavant.

Perhaps you could check out the Guide article on Aikido,which is rather short, but interesting. Aikido is a real martial art based on the idea of pacifism, and has very high moral standards regarding the ethics of self-defense.

Most Aikido practitioners would completely agree with your basic strategies, however, there are times when you have no choice but to engage in combat.. when it is impossible to run, when you have to protect others etc.

If you do a little more research, you will find that the highest ideals of the martial arts encompass what you are suggesting. At that point you may wish to expand your article to include information about the philosophy of the non-aggressive self-defense arts, such as Aikido and T'ai-Chi Chuan

Your article is a good beginning, and I believe with some work it could be an Edited entry

*** slightly off topic ***

If anyone is interested, an interesting conversation is taking place on the existing Entry for "Martial Arts". I'd post a link but I've not learned how yet.

*** slightly off topic ***

Being a pacifist myself, i agree that the ultimate martial art is the one that ultimately prevents violent confontations.

The Run-Lak Fokh technique (a tried and proven technique, indeed)whilst perhaps preventing the practicioner from becoming involved in violence (if he runs a fokh of a lot faster than his/her opponent) doesn't ultimately prevent violence ... (some other poor fokh might come along and be violated instead)

Whilst the run-lakh fokh technique is a good move within the ultimate martial art, it can hardly be called the ultimate on its own.

Having been a pacifist all my life ... and a pretty poor runner ... I learned at an early age to use the "let's discuss this" technique with some success.

~^M^~erdo

Re: Hoovooloo's reply to mine, a long way up there...

Yeah Hoovooloo, I can see how it could meet the Editorial Guidelines. I personally find the article funny and in good humour, but I am still doubtful as to whether it is the material needed for a Guide entry. I am still undecided on the 'factuality' of the article, and I think that when/if it gets sent to the Sub-Eds that quite a lot of the flippancy might be removed.
Anyway, thats my humble opinion, but as for the article, I like it.

Kenrick

A shame, because 50% of the *point* of the thing is the humour. This hopefully encourages someone to read to the end to get the point. If a SubEd is going to remove that, well, I think I'd rather it didn't go in at all.

On a lighter note, a scholar of the obscure language of the people who invented this "ultimate martial art" has enlightened me to a slightly different transliteration of the ideograms - check the entry. It seems it is possible that this is, in fact, an Irish martial art

I'm off to do some more research and put in links to actual martial arts entries. There really is a serious point here.

In response to the other messages about the fact that sometimes you have to fight, to defend others, etc. - point taken. I simply have no way to include that very valid point in what is at least 50% a comedy entry. If I can think of a way later, be assured I will.

Thanks for the input.

Please don't take my word as law, Hoovooloo, I'm not a Sub-Ed!
I say keep it in PR and see what other Scouts think. Also, you might want to contact a Sub-Ed and see what they think. When I said about them removing the flippancy, that was only what I think they *might* do from my previous experience.
Don't think about getting rid of it before you get some more opinions on it. I'm frequently wrong about many things!
Kenrick

I didn't consider getting rid of it, Kenrick! I was just saying that if it that *was* what it would take to get achieve Edited status, I'd rather leave it in, unedited. Please check out the update, it's a bit of an improvement, I think...