h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"He who fights and runs away - lives to run another day"

This would prepare one tremendously for a game of Brockian Ultra Cricket.

As a long time student of Kung Fu in Australia, I have tried to make the art more contemporary and culturally relevant. Henceforth I have come up with Oz Fu, which pretty much involves puffing out one's chest, sticking out the chin and shouting 'Caaaarrrrrrnnnn Maaaaate' and '*******k'nnnnn', without spilling one's beer and then forgetting the whole thing and telling a sheila about the whole thrilling incident.

Your style is so much better.

I currently sit in lotus position ourtside your temple in the hope that you will instruct me in the way...

F-reek

H.

It has been sometime now since the starting blocks bounced to rest raising a small cloud of dust from the newly empty patch of earth.

Slowly a form materialises tentatively at the edge of the clearing, carefully scans the surroundings and makes it's way apprehensively - still panting somewhat heavily from a swift and protracted flight from the apparent danger of the airborne starting blocks - to where they lie abandoned. It nudges them nervously with it's foot, darts back a few paces, and sensing no immediate danger resumes it's former place on the ground waiting. The figure calls out...

"Have I passed my first test Master?"

The figure resumes its position, having installed the starting blocks, and is therefore perfectly placed for a flying start when a set of starting blocks the size of a Volvo fall out of the sky, creating a perfect starting-block shaped hole in the ground.

"Yes, my student. You have passed the first test. And, it seems, the second."

"What is this?" says the student, regarding the bizarrely shaped hole in the ground, "a Road Runner cartoon?"

"Aaah, you speak of the Ultimate Master. Study his works with care."


H.