h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is funny how a pack of pacifists are fighting like wildcats to get the entry into the guide.
I do not consider myself as a pacifist, but you have got my blessing, get it in.

Maybe you can add to the introduction the more western "noble art of selfdefense" (boxing). It is just as formalised and useless on the street.

In the first technique, you may ask some help from the H2G2 university, the ESP project. It looks to be in their domain, as you have to be able to look around corners to see the bloke whith the knife.

For the last part, I doubt the long term effect of always running away. Also most dragons are known for being very aggressive and not for running. It is dangerous to run fast if you are spitting fire.

Hi Marijn! Thanks for weighing in with an opinion. (awful puns'R'Us)

Interestingly I did a search on "martial arts" and turned up links to Judo, Karate, Aikido and Jeet Kune Do (thank heavens for that one...). I also, thanks to the above comment, did a search on "boxing". Nothing! Can someone do an entry on that please? (I don't know nearly enough).

About ESP - hmmm yeah! On the other hand, if I was in the sort of place where there could be a guy round the corner with a knife, I'd be into technique 2 already, I think...

The long term effect of running away is damage to the knee joints. The whole "dragon"-mentioning thing is purely part of the joke.

In summary: thanks for the input, and can somebody *qualified* please write an entry on boxing so I can link to it? Thanks!

This message is

(a) notification that I've added the most appropriate picture I could find to the entry (this is the first time I've added a picture to a Guide Entry - it's quite easy, isn't it?)

(b) a transparent ploy to bung it up the Peer Review list early on a Saturday for people to see.

I like it.

I stopped at red belt in a martial art form with no name developed by my instructor, who had combined what he felt to me the best elements of several traditional forms plus street fighting. (Yes, street fighting. This man's opinion was that if you had managed to get yourself into a situation where you were being held in a bear hug, from in front, with your arms pinned to your body, the best excape technique started with taking advantage of the proximity of your teeth to your assailant's ear.)

This same instructor was a fan of your technique, too. Aggresive Avoidance.

Maybe the proper name for your style is something like "gotugo nau?"

Oh I *like* that! That's going right in! I've been calling this art variations on "Run-Lak Fekh" for several years now, so I'm resistant to changing that par, but (with credits appended if this gets in) I'm nicking your alternative name and using it as the name of the inventor. It's too good not to use...

Cheers!

I love it, if it can't be in the guide there's something wrong with the guidelines. I thought DNA had said entries could be wildly inaccurate, and this isn't inaccurate at all.

It is the antithesis of Tai Chi however, where among the guiding principles are feeling rooted to the ground, like a tree, never lifting one foot until all the weight is perfectly balanced on the other and moving very slowly, slowly....and they said it was the basis for all martial arts...I want four years of tuition fees back.

Many thanks, Waz.

I've added a quote from Sun Tzu's "Art of War" which I think is quite appropriate in the circumstances. There are others, but that one's the pithiest and arguably the best known...

I also use this technique! It is extremely effective indeed. It is what has kept me in more or less one piece in a quite dangerous place and period of time, for almost 30 years now.

But I do agree, sometimes you have to fight to protect others. Maybe it would be a good idea to teach others this technique as well, in the first place, so they themselves avoid needing protection.

I think what is perhaps necessary is something about sensing a guy with a *rifle* before he comes within half a mile of yourself, or how to sense a bomb that is about to go off in the general vicinity, or a landmine that you're at risk of stepping on.

The only martial art of any use against a sniper is Korean Sinanju.

The main drawback is that this art is as fictional as Run-Lak Fekh - more so, even. It is the backbone of a series of quite entertaining books (there are now 124(!) in the series) originally written by Warren Murphy and the late Richard Sapir. The books have been adapted to a film - "Remo: Unarmed and Dangerous" in the UK, other titles elsewhere - and a TV pilot. Anyone interested could type "Sinanju" into a search engine and find more than they could possibly want to know...

>thinks... could be a Guide Entry called for...<

Yes you're right about that - everything I *don't* want to know, and nothing that I do. 2800 pages of fanboy blatherings. But no matter. I think if one fantasizes hard anough one could probably come up with quite a large number of impossible imaginary martial arts techniques for defense against/avoidance of bullets. I think a Guide Entry on the subject might be a good idea, yes!

I might add that I give my support to the 'Run-Lak Fekh' entry as being valid and useful and worthy of inclusion in the Edited Guide.

Can't say I didn't warn you, Grief

Cheers, btw...

I think this is great! It reminds me of the best advice my mates ever gave me. Its the sort of thing i remember....

Porl & Celestes rules for life

1. Don't be sick
2. Don't fall over
3. Be a coward.

Not that the Art of Run-Lyk Foch is cowardly ~ rather its an intelligent pre-emptive reaction to danger. My main concern is this - can it be done in high heels?

I think this one should go into the guide.

pj

Hi Waz..

I just want to point out to you that you *should* demand four years tutition back from your T'ai-Chi instructor.

Unfortunately most T'ai-Chi teachers I have met should not be teaching... The Yang form they 'teach' is only one small part of the method, which is actually based on the idea of complementary opposites-- the 'T'ai-Chi tu', which we Westerners call the 'Yin-Yang'

The rooted postures are a way of learning how to produce balanced force, by utilizing the leverage and muscles of your legs, waist, back etc, as a unit. In actual combat, you move lightly, quickly, and even leap about. Running is definitely a major technique in T'ai-Chi Chuan, as is the principle of avoiding your opponent's attack.

BTW, the translation of 'T'ai-Chi Chuan' is 'Supreme Ultimate Boxing'

It is well written and funny, but I don't think that it really belongs in the Edited Guide.

Hi, 180970! (crazy name, crazy guy/gal/small furry creature from Alpha Centauri)

Thanks for the compliment.

This doesn't really count as criticism, however. *Why* doesn't it belong in the Edited Guide? You've given no reason. Before you answer, please look back over this conversation thread. Posting 11 goes into detail about the ten things an Edited Entry should be, and I've made a case there for all ten. If you disagree, please, tell me why.


But seriously, if you thought it was funny, I'm happy...

H

I like this entry - it's amusing, but still has a very real point. I'm not so sure about the picture, though - if it gets recommended you might get a new picture from Spirit.

Azara

Thanks Azara - I think there's only one martial arts picture, and it's a bit ahhh... "confrontational" to be appropriate here. The one I picked, on the other hand, has a certain link to the subject. A new pick would be cool, but what on earth would it look like?

>thinks... An RLF gi would probably not look like a karate suit... more like running shorts and a vest, possibly with a number on it...<

H.

A brief animation would be nice, along the lines of:

Stereotype wiry oriental in robes bows as though about to perform some arcane technique - then disappears leave only the cloud of dust...


All of which assumes this gets in. Anyone else have comments?

H

Ultimate; last, final, beyond which there is no advance.
Martial; of, suitable, appropriate to, warfare.
Warfare; conflict.
Art; skill, imaginative creation, stratagem.

=> The Ultimate Martial Art; Imaginative stratagem appropriate to conflict beyond which there is no advance.
I.e. Run-Lak Fekh.

QED (per The Oxford Ilustrated Dictionary, who can argue with that?) an instructional and realistic entry. (Except for those who see something to be gained in making advances to a cloud of dust.)