h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you are not playing the role of the Ship's Cat, then DO NOT READ ANY MORE OF THIS THREAD!!!!

"Curiosity did not kill the android..."

THE SHIP'S CAT

Remote Recording Unit 2BRN2B

YOUR STORY - You are an android left behind by an expedition from Procyon two thousand Earth years ago. You were released at the alien base in Nazca, Peru, though you are part of a series of androids originally designed for work in Egypt (there was a surplus of this model).

Over the years you have been slowly working your way north and east, to where civilisation seemed more promising. You have been studying and recording data on Earth in order to make an assessment.

What sort of assessment you do not know. Shortly after your creators returned to Procyon you were trapped in a land slide. You were undamaged, but extricating yourself required you to transfer energy to your motivators, depowering all systems associated with the "assessment." This is unfortunate, as the assessment is your "purpose." A disproportionate number of your systems (now inactive) are assigned to this task.

You could have recharged yourself by allowing lightning to strike you on the tail, but your self preservation circuits tended to resist this option. So you waited for Earth technology to progress. The flow of current in telegraph lines is a bit slow for your purposes, you cannot draw enough power before humans come and chase you away with shotguns. You estimate another decade before humanity can provide you with appropriate technology.

You are more than content to wait. This one voyage on the Mary Celeste has provided you with more interesting oddities to study than you have encountered in the past two thousand years.

You have discovered a new power source. Your sensors cannot identify it, it is unknown to Procyon technology, yet humans seem able to manipulate it and several of the humans on the Mary Celeste carry storage cells of this odd energy.

You suspect this would be of great interest to your masters back on Procyon. You attempted close study of one of these storage cells the other day. It was in the pocket of Seaman Volkert, and he had taken off his trousers while he bathed. You probed the battery, a small pyramid constructed of solid gold, with your tail. You could not draw power from the battery, this power source is totally worthless as far as your immediate purposes go. It is, however, very interesting. You find it inexplicable that the humans have something that Procyon does not.

You believe you may have damaged this item while studying it.

Last night you observed Second Mate Gillings manipulating this strange energy. He was careful that none of the other humans were watching. Gillings gestured over an empty bottle in an odd manner and muttered under his breath. When he was finished you detected an almost unreadably faint life force inside the bottle. Gillings then hid the bottle in his sea chest in the forecastle.

In addition to the strange energy sources you have detected several conventional storage batteries throughout the ship. Many are carried by humans, others are stored in the forecastle. You cannot examine those in the forecastle, though the door is not locked it is shut and you have no hands. All of these storage batteries are beyond your estimate of human technology.

GOALS AT A GLANCE - Learn everything there is to learn, observe everything there is to see. In particular, discover more about these strange batteries Volkert, Goodschad, Lizzie and the others have; and find out what happened to Mrs Briggs' battery. Recharge your faulty functions and learn what it is you are supposed to be assessing.

ROLE PLAYING HINT - Imagine a cat with hyperactive curiosity. Spy on people to the point of unnerving them.

STATISTICALLY - It would be very difficult for the humans to damage you appreciably, you are very well made. However, you cannot do much damage to them either, you are not made for that.

THE OTHER CHARACTERS

CAPTAIN BRIGGS - A normal human.

SARAH BRIGGS - She once held the most powerful of the strange energy batteries (a gilded gemstone). Until this morning she always wore this battery on a chain, and hidden beneath her blouse. At dawn today she threw the battery into the sea. Odd, you assumed great value had been associated with this item. Unknown to the humans, someone at sea, beyond the range of your sensors, manipulated the strange energy and apparently retrieved the item (the effect was similar to a Procyon tractor beam).

LIZZIE BRIGGS - Though she is supposed to be the offspring of Sarah and Captain Briggs you know this to be impossible. Lizzie is not a human, she is of a species unknown to you. Her appearance is very similar to a human's, and it is hidden by the manipulation of the strange energy. She wears a strange energy battery, a golden sphere. Her battery is quite weak. Lizzie seems as curious of you as you are of her.

FIRST MATE RICHARDSON - He is an alien from Tau Ceti. This is not an immediate concern for you as Procyon and the Cetaceans were at peace when last reported, but that was two thousand years ago, so he bears watching. He carries a disruptor, a scanner, and a charging device.

SECOND MATE GILLING - He has the second most powerful battery of strange energy , a black sphere.

COOK HEAD - The cook is not a human, his species appears to be descended from Earth fish-life. He masks his appearance through manipulation of the strange energy just as Lizzie does. He is the person on the ship you are most compatible with; you and the cook often share fish heads. You can turn proteins into energy for your motivators (humans would mistake this for eating) and you find fish well suited to you. You would not go so far as to say you "like" fish, that would be admitting that your programming has become more cat-like over the years.

SEAMAN VOLKERT - Your sensors indicate that he is dead. You can only detect a faint vitality, similar to that stored in the bottle by Mate Gillings.

SEAMAN GOODSCHAD - He also registers as dead. He has a strange energy battery similar to Volkert's, another golden pyramid.

SEAMAN LORENZEN - He has a device implanted behind his right ear, purpose unknown. It has a quite powerful storage battery, almost enough to repower your systems. He also carries an agonizer, though the design is unfamiliar to you.

THE CASTAWAY - She appears to be from one of Earth's primitive cultures. Evidence indicates that she crossed the ocean in a small open boat, a feat beyond the endurance of most humans. She carries the third most powerful strange energy batteries.

THE STOWAWAY - She could not, as the humans believe, have been hiding on the May Celeste as you would have detected her. Shortly before she arrived you noted an odd energy surge in the forecastle. This is conventional energy, but manipulated in a way unknown to you (something else your creators on Procyon would find interesting). She has an implant similar to Lorenzen's, behind her left ear.

SEAMAN MARTENS - He has attempted direct communication with you. He said "1 know you know everything there is to learn. Help me and I will help you." It is unlike humans to speak in such a way to cats. Perhaps you should try to communicate with Martens.

ITEMS

You have no items. You are a cat.

SPECIAL ABILITIES

EVADE - Nothing can touch you nor can you be struck by ranged weapons. This is how you were designed and your designers were very good. However, you cannot avoid an attack with a wide area of effect. Luckily there are no hand grenades on the Mary Celeste. Limited to two attacks at once, if you get three or more people angry at you then some of them are going to hit you.

SCAN - Your scanning instruments are made by the same nice people who designed your evasion circuits. Ask GL what you detect.

DRAIN ENERGY - Touch a power source with your tail and the power is yours. You may not Evade while draining a battery.

You are not authorized to read any of the fact sheets. Sorry.

what?! no fact sheets?! aw, darn.

meow...

question: can i talk?

after all, i am TECHNICALLY an android... but i'm a cat too. so can i speak, or do i have to play around it like:

"the cat rubs up against your leg, as if to say....."

No, I think you can talk. But you probably don't want to give youself away to just anybody. After all, you have survived all this time by being inconspicuous. However, if you think talking to someone could advance your goals, then go right ahead.

alright! thanks, GL.

oops, another question...

where do i sleep? wherever i decide?

oh! and - if there are conversations going on between two people, can i peek in the door?

I think you sleep whereever you want, and being a cat, that probably means just about everywhere

I think that yes, you can creep into conversations that way. Just announce your arrival in the conversation thread. You shouldn't read the backlog in that thread, though - only the last post. In other words, it should be as realistic as possible - if you were really a recording unit cat, you wouldn't be able to find out what was said before you physically arrived. You may get kicked out of the room by one of the converstionists, just like a real cat, or the door may be closed against you. In either case, just act like a cat (yowl at the thrower-outer, check the port hole )

lol! okay... thanks, GL!

there's a question for you in the captain's cabin, GL.

On my way. Thanks.

Okay, here's what you saw:

The Captains cabin is a relatively small room with a bunk on either side. In one corner is a washstand, with a bowl and pitcher. A curtain can be pulled across the corner to provide a little privacy. The Captain's sea chest is here, along with a steamer trunk, presumably for Sarah's and Lizzie's things. Against one wall is a small table with 3 chairs. Under one of the bunks is an old ceremonial sword, in a scabbard. On the other bunk is a small doll with a carved head.

The cabin, although spartan, has been made more homey by Sarah. The table has a cloth, the floor a small rug and there is painting of a garden scene on one of the walls. As well, each porthole is framed by lace curtains.

A little hint: since people coming in to a conversation can read the last post, if you want your post to remain secret from whoever might barge in, post again after it. Something inconsequential. You won't need to do that after every post, but only for ones that you want to remain secret.

okey dokey. thanks GL.

Regarding the new Ghost character - you can neither see nor hear him.

*raises curious eyebrow*

so if he speaks, i can't hear?

can i /feel/ him? can i sense him at all?

Nope. No sense of him at all. In fact, your character doesn't even know he exists. (Until he moves something)

boogers.

okay, GL.

Now this thread will be above the offending one.