h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Ms. Sally enters, trailing a length of yarn*

I think these maps need editing. 'Berma' is now called 'Mynmar' and the USSR is Russia and a bunch of small countries.

* enters with a fresh supply of and 's *

*spies red sails off the starboard bow*
what do you think captain ?
shall we be naughty or nice to these seemingly brother pirates?
*takes a and a and then begins to polish her long sword whilst humming 'war never been so much fun'*

Captain! We seem to have hit some rather large rocks!

err... Are those enemy pirates I see on the horizon?

Oho! They are eskimo pirates, and they are eating spaghetti.
Hmmmmm, perhaps I should get these binoculars cleaned
or fixed, as that is what I ALWAYS see when I look at other
pirate ships.



Now I see circus clowns playing polo.



Now we know why I was not made lookout.

*An old pirate sits in a corner, quietly smoking a pipe and staring into the fire. It is a fire he has made himself, out of old memos, bits of furniture and discarded sailcloth. Actually, he's a bit surprised that no one has commented on it so far.
but now it is time for talking.
he takes the pipe from his mouth and taps it on his knee*

Thems be the circus clowns of the Southern Reaches..
No one who has seen them has ever lived to tell the tale...
There be pirates 'round the world over, would rather shove a doubloon backwards into a patchlock then spy the circus clowns of the Southern Reaches....

*He nods.. then lapses into silence again*

*Stands by, ready to repel boarders, board the red-sailed vessel, fire his cabin's cannon, or jump into his starfighter*

Arr, captain- are we in for my first battle on board the Blood?

*Rubs hands in anticipation*

*pulls two crossbows out of nicknack pocket, and cocks them both*
hehehe...This is going to be good...

It's the revenge of Sister Wendy!

*screams, "Yar!," as he runs out of the cabin and preps the cannons for the battle*

*takes aim*

*ducks*

*decides he'll get a better shot if he's outside*
*goes outside*

*fires*

*the two streamlined arrows slice through the air with dizzying speed , perform a few loop-the-loops, before finally bouncing off the enemy ship's hull...*

What the?

*Hears the word "Fire!" and assumes
there will be ear-splitting noise.*

*Finds some cotton and sticks in ears
so he won't hear the sounds of battle.*



*Snoozes*

*stops ploishing long sword, gets up hurridely from the table and joins plato outside*
plato my dear *takes back her crossbow and begins to readjust it* if you're going to try and sink the ship use the steel plated arrows, they're much better at making holes in the planking.*hands back crossbow*
now then...
*as the enemy ship comes along side DM siezes her chance and with her bull whip sucessfuly attaches it to the hostile ships sail beam and swings across to face certain victory*

ploishing?
do you want to start a new thread on the enemy pirate ship?

We ought to, Mr. Plato.

The laser cannon at the figurehead has done a significant amount of damage, and the nuns are a bit lost at the moment, so now would be a perfect time to board the enemy ship...

My point exactly, Mr. Yossarian... The only problem is, can we really go after nuns? Anyway, Miss DM is already wiping a few of them off...

*shouts back to plato from the other ship*
its ok plato they're not really nuns, their habits are fake!!!
and they seem to know how to handle a sword pretty well too...
would you like to give me a hand?
theres plenty here for everyone, just let me have the captain...

*Appears from below with a fire-lizard on his shoulder, it's eyes red*

Arr! Captain- (or anyone!)- can I have a definitive answer on which thread to join the battle on? I see there's one called "The Cannons" Has anyone set up a fake-nuns-ship thread, or are we fighting here?

Make haste- I can't wait to join the battle!

Aaaaarrrrrrrr ready to buckle my swash!!!