h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You just threw my cousin cephalo overboard!!

CELOPHANE OVERBOARD!

Anyone want to man a lifeboat or something?

Leave this to me, Cap'n

*Pod presses a few buttons on his watch. Nothing happens. Pod presses a few more buttons. A small antenna rises from watch and goes . Pod stares at watch*

Ehhhhhh...

Okay, Pod, I see things are in good hands so I'll just log off!

See you!

...wait a minute,...there's always the three dimensional azimuth coordination controller. We could use that couldn't we ?

You just have to remember to press the 'UP' button, otherwise the cannon will get a bit wet. (not to mention the entire crew)

If you are careful with it, we could just float right over the seaserpent and the greenpeace volunteers and make our getaway without doing anything that may be construed as being politically er incorrect.

alec.

*Pod taps nose*
*pod winks*
*pod taps nose again*
*pod tap dances (just for a bit)

Ahhh yes, the three dimensional azimuth coordination controller.. Now why didn't I think of that?

*pod taps nose*

*alec carefully removes taps (#10x32tpi)from pods nose, and inserts two stainless steel set screws (#10x3/4")having first applied teflon gel to prevent corrosion and facilitate removal*

'there you are james,...i knew you were one of US...now you look like a real pirate!

james....JAMES!...are you alright?

alec.

I'mb bine, Alec, bank you..
just a libble bib dibby..
bink I need boo sib bown for a bib...

*looks around*

bwere's cebalo? By libble squib?
Bwere's ee gone?



Whab aboub be see mobster?

wow...that looks really jabes, you know a 1x1 lego brick will snap straight onto the head of that...well, once it's healed anyway...i must tell kes...he thought i was a loony, but i knew you were one of us.

alec

*pob tabs nobe*

Shhhhhhh!! Don't tell anyone.
The first rule of Lego club is that you do NOT talk about Lego Club.

Now..

*takes out gun, shoots sea serpent, grabs squid*

thats that dealt with.
I'm off for a

...ok jabes... i'll race you to the bar, with any luck we'll get there before all those angry looking greenpeace volunteers.

the are on me!!

nice shooting by the way.

alec.

Hmmm, another serpent gone. I wonder who will cook this one - and how? Maybe with vindaloo-curry?

Can do!

Hmmm, really looking forward to that!

...erm has anybody seen the navigator recently?
i just wanted to know where we are.

alec

*Arrives, slightly out of breath*

Right! Who's been fiddling with the wheel thingie? Oh! Nobody ... Wake up, Helmsman! That's better. Now then, you lot up on those mast things ... look lively - pull a few of the bits of rope and see if you can get the sails round the other side a bit. That's it!

*The ship heels over onto the opposite tack*

Good. Nobody panic! Hang on up there! Let go a couple of the ropes - maybe the pale ones .. yes. Er, Helmsman! Bring her into the wind a bit .... sort of get the pointy end facing over there ...there! where that wave was - no! THAT WAVE! ...where it was a minute ago when I first said - not where it is now ...back a bit ..... and ..... right hand up a bit! Whew!

Back on course for Christmas Island!

*enter alec *
mr. navigator sir... thank heavens you're back...i think we're the only ones left awake, perhaps it was the seaserpent vindaloo, or the seaserpentvenom but there's no-one with a pulse left on board,...i think even ludwig the mighty watchdog is curled up somewhere...
...nice driving by the way.
alec.

You're welcome ... you'd never know I just make the navigation up as I go along, would you ... I reckon I've got a natural flare for it! I tried using the auto-navigator, but all I got was a paperclip in the bottom corner of the screen, telling me to update to Service Pack 2 .....

Arrives from the cellar with some fosters for the guns, and something drinkable for the crew...*

Did i miss anything

Only a near-collision with a sea-serpent and a terrible anti_Microsoft joke ... Ah! A Cooper's! Cheers!