h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's inevitable though, isn't it
If some loose off more than a bit.
But perhaps it's more fair
To thank the one sitting there
At midnight stuck reading this

while understanding your reply
I must speak and then sigh
as I hope and I think
with a shy little wink
that we all will return to the sty!!

changing the subject

Cricket's a wonderful game
But lately it's lost its good name
The money and lurks
And dishonest jerks
Ensure it well ne'er be the same

Watching cricket is dull
It is more fun to mull
Over bits of old string
A mysterious green thing
Or the corpse of a runover gull

Cricket, for those in the know
Is a delicate art, not a show
But for some sporting mugs
And those who like thugs
Maybe Rugby's the way they should go

Rugby's a fun game to watch
'specially while wearing white socks
If it makes you feel glum
Try sucking on a plum
And remember to headbutt those Rocks

Rugby's a game that confuses
It puzzles but rarely amuses
Those men and the ball
I don't get it at all
For me, "it don't blow MY fuses"

Most team sports' appeal I'm not limning.
What I like the best is some swimming.
In summer, it's cool
To do laps in the pool,
across the broad surface just skimming.

Waterskiing is a fun thing to do
Its really quite difficult too
You've got to Lean Back
While they take up the Slack
And then you're off with a WooHOO!!

Rugby League's the game they play here
I think that it's all rather queer
Whenever teams clash
It's all biff bleed and bash
And then they all meet for a beer

The drink in my glass is not
However it is fairly Pale
'tis water, in fact
which someone, with tact
put right on top of my Mail

The days have grown shorter again,
and soon I'll be calling the men
who bring heating fuel,
for soon 'twill be cool.
The windows I won't leave open.

Autumn's a time one believes
when the tumble down in the breeze
But think of the dirth
and the strange lack of mirth
If the trees all fell down not the leaves

I'm sneezing like F**K at the mo
And occasionally blowing my Nose
I do not know why,
Maybe there's a fly
Who got stuck has decomposed

Perhaps you are vexed by ragweed,
an allergy no one would need.
There's pollen galore,
infiltrating each pore,
attempting to make lots more seed!

I'm allergic to w*rk don't you know
But unfortunately still have to go
It's just got me beat
But I still have to eat
Ah ... but when I win Lotto, I'll blow

Ahh to win the lotto
Then any where you could go
Oh it sure would be neat
To soak your tired feet
In some sunny sandy grotto

It would depend on how much you got
But I really would like it a lot
If I got enough
To stop doing it tough
I'd give some away, why not ...

Giving away your worth
Would encourge hangers on to lurk
With hands held aloft
Cause the'd think you'd gone soft
Its much better to hang on to your own perks

Loot's like manure I've found
Only good if you spread it around
You'll get back much more
If you give to the poor
Not things - but good vibes by the pound