h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Was this Meet in the land of the Scots?
If so, could you give us your thoughts?
Took you high road or low?
Did you get to and fro
Without having to connect all the dots?

Dot was sitting down the Pub
Drinking her usual Tub
Of Vodka and Lime,
Its really divine,
Before she headed down t' club

We're hoping, here in Oz, for a Meet
A gathering of researchers would be neat
But distances great
And finding a date
Are making it no easy feat

when debating if friend freud was sane
its best we remember his brain
while admittedly bright
was treated like shite
cos his doctor prescribed "MORE COCAINE!"

That powder you suck up your Nose
Through a Straw, or maybe a Hose
Rots away your Brain
Washes your life down the Drain
and, if you ain't careful, it gets on your clothes

It kills brain cells, so you can't remember.
In May you feel just like December.
Your arteries clog.
You can't out-think the dog.
What once was a bud is an ember.

Snoeker your limerick was great
Just something I'll point out though mate
When reading a thread
Go to the end - not the head
'Cause this time your posting's too late

no offence Snoeker - it's something we've all done - you replied to a limerick from ages ago - check the dots at the side to make sure that you are at the last post

being late is not a faux pas
not rhyming would be worse by far
If you want to contribute
Rhymes that are astute
You'll be welcomed with wide open arms

thanx by Argon0 (7*((7+0)-(8^0)))=42)(keeper of 42isms -see A530560)(Pub Quiz Champ!)(So Drunk He can't be bothered reading the Backlog)
But no risk of me feeling a dog
I post just for the hell of it
and sometimes for the smell of it
and still nothing beats dropping a fat log

My word how the standard has slipped!
Before long we'll see bodices ripped.
Where did all the wits go
Who could write verse just so
I suppose all their senses have flipped.

Too much wit is never enough
Though most of it really is bluff
But the lack you bemoan
Is never your own
And the rest is really just fluff

A good limerick is quite hard,
You need to be partly a bard.
Quickness of wit,
And genius (a bit),
If you don't want one ending in "lard".

Practice makes perfect you know
So just keep having a go
Never say quit
Though it may make you spit
Lay back and go with the flow

Yes, ending with "lard" is no lark.
It's like finding no places to park.
When rhymes are not right,
your poem's a sight
Noah wouldn't allow on his ark.

Noah's trick was two by two
Here, one at a time will do
Don't try to be smart
It's really an art
Remember, "To each one his due"

To each one his due is correct.
It doesn't incur disrespect.
But if one is due
A blowjob or two
It aint so forthcoming. I've checked.

What one is due is perspective
Not just the do-ers elective
so perhaps if you ask
with a sip of a flask
you may get bjs by directive

(Sorry, know its sad, not enough guiness in me yet)

This post has been removed.

Could it be the tone of this thread
Slipped into the lair of the ?
Well it seems to have passed
But these things never last.
I loved it... whatever it said.

I saw the posting before it was lifted
the direction of smut we definitely drifted
it was quite tame
in spirit of the game
but I 'spose some thought it best shifted