h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do all her bits work?
Look at that hair! Look at the bumps! Look at those 8" stilletos!
This is Essex engineering at its finest sir! She has had her 30,000 mile service, an oil change, the tracking is great, the MOT is up to date and she has load of tread left.

As for the accesories, the Bimbo model is known for a bit of clutch slip, but it is nothing we cant sort out.

Go on, get inside and take her for a test drive round the block - if you are not pulled in the first 10 feet, then we can come up with plan B

IS slips off couch and takes a good look at BIMBO

"Mind if I give her a poke to start her up?"

throw a few of these at her.

SSSSSHHHHHRRREEEIIIKKKKK!

*Takes fingers out of ears*
I think that is her started quite nicely.......if you want her to accelerate, just give her your credit card. To stop her, ask her what day it is. You get the drift. Enjoy your test drive, but dont take the top down(Fnar Fnar, mugs to camera)

*NEW NURSE ATTENDING passes Bimbo her coat and drops a spider on the collar*


SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK


and swivels away.

Ahhhh, Nurse Just Arrived - nice to see you. Have you clocked on? We do dock pay for tardiness around here, but no matter.
I see IS is captivated by those big blue eyes of our Ex Bimbo, so I think we should just give him what he wants.
NURSE JUST ARRIVED! Whack these on IS and nail him to the slab
COLONEL TWISTED ASSISTANT!! Prepare the cod anaestetic...
*Slaps IS over the head with the cod - he is out cold*
GOOD
EX BIMBOOOOO! - Over here love, look - an Armani top....
*Ex Bimbo totters over - The Doctor whacks her with a Haddock*
Out of cod AGAIN! What is this place coming to!
No matter *Picks Ex Bimbo up, throws her onto Slab number 2*
NEW PRESENT SCALPEL PLEASE!
Never mind *Fires up his trusty rusty chainsaw RRRRrrrrrrrrrr*

Nurse Just Arrived IS to the slab

>the patient is ready now Doctor<


Looks down at Ex Bimbo and asks >May I have her blonde wig Doctor?<


Looks down once more and loses eye again!

Locates eye under CTA's left foot retrieves it and puts it back in

I'm a colonel!!!



*gives her master anothjer *

It is 20,000 smelly cod!

*squishes NJA's eye*

Well done nurse - the wig is yours! Try to keep it straight though - and keep an eye on that eye...
ENOUGH - Lets DO it!

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzwweeeeeeeeeeeeeezup! SPLAT *Top of Ex Bimbos head falls off* SSSSSHHHHHHRRRREEEEIIKKKK!
*Whacks her with a haddock to put her out again - goes to spoon the brain out*
GASP! Where is the Brain! What was I thinking! This is a Bimbo - never mind, lets work with it.....
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrzzzzwweeeeeeeeeeeeeezup! SPLAT *Top of IS's head falls off*

*Scoops badly discoloured brain out (probably explains the Illegible Scrawl) and whacks it in Ex Bimbos head (a tight squeeze, but go with me here)*
NURSE JUST ARRIVED! Rrrrrrrrrr Nail the tops of heads back on! (Hands her a hammer and some six inch nails)

THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACKITY THWACK

Bring them round!
(Waves kipper under the nostrils)

Ex Bimbo? Can you hear me boy? Sorry, Girl?

*IS Comes too*

Whey hey, I'm a girl.

[strips off immediately and starts to play with all female equipment]

Thank you Doctor, if I can do anything for you, just anything, you will let me know won't you?

[unzips doctor's pants so he has no doubt of her intentions]

And that goes for you too nursey

What about me?

*begins to walk dejectedly away*

OH MY GOD! We have created a Monster! Do you know the dance steps to "Putting On The Ritz" by any chance?

And put those clothes back on - thanks for the offer though, but I AM a Doctor and as such have respect and Doctor Patient privalage and I have taken the oath and....*Looks over at ExBimbo wiggling about the place, starkers*
WHAT AM I SAYING! Come here devil woman man thing... noooooo Noooo NO!
That was close!
NURSE JUST ARRIVED! Am I a mouse or a Man?
Man you say?
GOOD! *Sweeps Nurse Just Arrived off her feet and snogs her <kiss
MUCH better! Now - where were we?

Ah yes!

COLONEL TWISTED ASSISTANT!
Here this instant! *Sweeps her off her paws and snogs her too
Glad I got that out of my system!
EXBIMBO! Will you PLEASE stop doing that and get dressed! The neigbours will see!

*drools sadly over the gifts she has given the doctor*

Ignored....

*licks the doctor madly and happily*

Not ignored

But I don't want to put my clothes back on, its far too much fun being a naked woman.

Look at the reactions I'm getting already

[gives dejected Colonel a cum to bed look]

Colonel you are welcome too, I want to explore everything, even girl to girl sex

Yippee

[smacks the good doctor on the ass, while fondling the Colonel's boobs]

Splendid!

Everybody happy, thats what a Mad Doctor likes to see!

ExBimbo? Ohhhhhhhhhhh ExBimbooooooo? Stop meddling with your old body like that.

We still need body parts though for our most EVIL creation yet (Thunder in the distance)

We have two armpits and a left foot. Try as I might, I do not think that those alone would have much of a social life if we nailed them together and sent them clubbing.

BRING ME PARTS!!

*jumps up onto IS shoulder*

*purrs and rubs against her*

I had nothing to do with turning this thread into pseudo p*rn!!!

The other threads I admit to.... but not this one!!!!

COLONEL and NURSE JUST ARRIVED!
Can you PLEASE restrain ExBimbo somehow - its typical though, should have expected it really. Give a bloke a pair of bumps and he will stay indoors all week playing with them. Hang on - just had a thought!

WORK EXPERIENCE BOY! See that naked ExBimbo over there? Go fill your boots.

THAT should keep him/her quiet for a while........

PARTS! I NEED PARTS for my greatest creation! Will anyone give up their knees? I'll settle for ears at the moment.........