h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The lance smiles shyly back at Terran*

Lance: H-hello. Not many people are as friendly as you towards an instrument of death. This may be a mad idea, but when this is all over do you fancy going for a drink?

*The lance winces in anticipation of disappointment*

* a hand and a knife appear at Mystrunner's throat. From behind, a voice...*

You were saying, my darling love?

*the blade is pressed a little more insistantly into his throat, but hasn't broken the skin.*

Like my blade? I got it at a lovely arms shop I know...

*Winces, stares at the ceiling.*

Awww, dammit. You're too good at this whole deadly threat thing. Arms... store...?

*Realization dawns.*

Wait, my store? I should have never given you the back door key...

*blinks* Ah yes. The key. That is probably what I used. *eyes flicker to the glass cutter on the floor beside her*

*blinks, slaps Legion across the cheek for no real reason other than the fact that she wants to post on this page. If she can be violent at the same time as posting, than all the better*

JJ doesn't know her own strength. Balls.

Notice that I'm posting and managing to be completely non-violent. What's my secret? Answer: in Real Life, I'm kicking the person across from me in the computer lab.

She's just a girl, see, a little first-year, and she totally doesn't know how to handle it - should she call security, or kick back? She's already called me an asshole, to no effect - what now?

Oh - oh - she's crying. Perfect.

Take note, JJ - leave your violence in RL, where it belongs.

you insensitive RL b*st*rd. although in boardroom terms getting her to cry from the mere effort of extending your knee is pretty impressive.

Some people will cry with no provocation. I mean, what use is torture if people break down immediately after the first finger is severed?

Takes all the joy out of it, don't it?

Yeah, it was far too easy. Next time I do it to a Goth. I hear they pride themselves on their Attitude.

Ahh, bravo!

*Claps.*

In my experience, all goths are crying, at least on the inside. It takes a special skill to bring that out.

*chucks pieces at Mystrunner for disrupting my rail of thinking*

Heh, that'd be a pretty small train wreck. 8 hydrogen molecules were moved very slightly to the left.

*points to the giant train wreck to hall's left* That is my train of thought!! I control it with my brain!

My train of thought is like the Trans-Siberian Railway - strong, cold, unstoppable...

My train of thought is....oooooh Shiny coin! *leans down and grabs it* What was I saying?? .....Where am I? I was meant to be somewhere else....*is confuddled*

*walks out of the door*

*looks down at big pile of shiny coins*

Hey, that worked better than expected. Have to remember that one.

Hey, a friend of mine is looking for places to nuke just for the hell of it. Any ideas.

The past?

Nuke somthing beautiful. Like a rainforest.