h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ow.

Where did all the Thingites go?

Where have all the thingites gone? Where have all the thingites gone? Long time passing. Where have all the thingites gone? Long time ago.

ECHO ECHo ECho Echo echo.

This place has gotten a bit dull. We need to do something drastic to get people back in here... Hmm... what to do, what to do...

While I'm thinking of ideas I'll just set off all these fireworks...







Thats it! Gigantic Ice Fortress! why didn't i think of this before!

We build a huge castle made of ice and we ... do ... ... stuff ... ... well we can sort out the reason why later. The important thing is that it doesn't make sense.

now, ice. ice. where do we get ice

Surely an Ice Castle on a tropical beach has a flaw in it somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it.
Hmm.

*Wanders about tapping his temple.*

I don't believe logic has ever disrupted the proceedings on this thread. Why start now?

plus, we can always build some kind of cooling thingy to keep it ... well ... cool. wasn't there an einstein clone around here somewhere?

now, stop naysaying and order in some ice, we've got a lot of work to do.

What about Dry Ice(frozen carbon dioxide), I think it is about minus 120 degrees celcius, that could cool the ice-ice.

*wanders in with beaker of dry ice, makes mint julep*

Perfect.

ok. The first step is to build the bar. That way people may stick with this escapade for longer than a few minutes.

*looks at blueprints for a bar*

No, thats too small. I'm sick of all this 'minibar' hubub. I opt for no less than a MAXIBAR!

*looks at bigger blueprints*

too small

*looks at blueprints that can only be described by a quantum astrophysisist who is half mad*

Hmm whats this part? Oh, it spans over 5 dimensions! well that should add a bit of excitement shouldn't it.

*picks up some dry ice*

Ow! its stuck. Ow, its burns us precious!

*wonders where the gollumness came from*

Pour some liquid nitrogen on it, that should get it off!

Wait! If we build the bar first then we'll just build that and get drunk, and not do anything else. Lets build a bit first, just to get into it, then do the bar.

Plus the bar will be able to be bigger than average as we won't need to waste any space on fridges!

We can get started as soon as my hand unfreezes. *mumble* stupid liquid nitrogen *mumble*

ok, better!

Now, the ceremonial laying of the first brick...

*pulls ice cube out of and places it on sand*



*smiles for photo opportunity *

*Shakes hand and holds up oversized giant cheque that isn't exchangable for money in a bank for the photo op.*

Hang on, why are we bothering with a whole ice fortress? Why not just build a giant ice bar?

Alternatively..

*levers lid off a barrel of rum*

we could just drink this.

I thought that that was the plan?
You know, all the business about lack of fridges and how that was beneficial.

*Fills tankard from barrel*

Horray for rum!

*thinks for a moment*

What was this an alternative to again?

Work, life, you name it basically.