h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well if thats the case...

*pulls big chest of grogg from boat*

Grogg for all! Arrr!

Cheers

I guess this is another test for that temporal watsit, since we're simultaneously drinking on multiple threads.

Does this mean I have multiple personalities? If so, are they all alcoholics? I think one's a lawyer. He might be the one in the evil boardroom.

Now, how do we go about catching sharks, and how do we stand on them without losing any of my personalities' feet?

We get very, very drunk.

Consider it done. why is the beach spinning? where did this lei come from? Hmm, I certainly do like this place

So, no progress on the shark skiing front eh?


Excellent progress on the getting pished tho. Good work lads.

Now pour me aan explain that temporal physics thingy again.

And here be hams! Arrr!

*pulls bag of hams from boat*

Now about these sharks-how big are they and how many do we need? Also what do we need them for? Also... ah, nuts to it.

*procedes to get extremely drunk and fall over*

About the whole space time thing, I stole one of these Einstein-clone bean thingies from the evil boardroom and he can explain everything for you.

*waters bean*

here, eloisa, put in your babelfish so you can understand his German geek talk and go and learn stuff while I drink this beer through a funnel.

*trips over fallen Smigg and drunkenly laughs uncontrollably*

*popsin ear and nods sagely while the whole fabric of time and space is explained in minute detail. The creation of matter, the truth of the human soul, where DO the paperclips go etc*

Cool.

Hee hee! *hic* Smiggsy has been passed out for 50 minutes! Let's *hic* draw on him!

Hmm, indelible markers. In this bag somewhere.

*pauses to sniff the markers*

Mmmm, pear drops.

Lemme smell. *sniffs markers* whoa, head spin

*runs to smigg, falls, gets up and runs to smigg in right direction this time*

Hey *gets Eloisa's attention*

hey, eloisa...

*whispers drunkenly* hey, psst...

I've got a razor. Which eyebrow do we shave, left or *hic* right.

Oh, I'm all about thing s being equal. Lets shave 'em both off.

okay I'll shave the left...

Hee hee ...

Gotta go now.

Keep the pens.

Save me some alcohol.

Byee.

hee hee! only one eyebrow.

*now talking to noone and writing on Smigg*

Ha hee. He schot me you know . Yeh, with a *hic* cannon.

It hurt a bit.

There! *stands back from Smigg, who now has 'THIS SPACE FOR RENT' written on his forehead*

Hah hah hah hah

Oh no, he's waking up.



*deftly hides under towel*

Arrr!

*gets up and looks at reflection in bottle*

ARRR! WHICH OF YE SCURVY LUBBERS DID THIS!?!?!?!?

*notices godisaheathen under towel*

Arrr! I'll get ye!

*draws cutlass and begins furiously stabbing godisaheathen, before getting board and going off to wash*

Hey, no fair!

I was under my towel, and if I couldn't see you, you couldn't see me!

*bleeds profusely*

Has anybody got a band-aid?

Will this plaster help?

*Stirs tub of plaster-o'-Paris.*

*Laughs at own pun.*

Hahahaha

*Hopes that somebody got the joke.*

*Skulks off since people start to glare.*

Sorry, I though it was funny.

Thanks for the help!

*Starts forming angry mob to go after smigg*

Does it count as an angry mob if I'm the only member?

I don't see why not.

*takes swig of grogg, throws bottle away, and draws cutlass and pistol*

Bring it on.