h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm. Well you have at least inspired me to get a cocktail, though I think I'd rather drink it than throw it.

One thing first...



There.

If we can't see the body, it isn't there. Lucky I always keep my towel with me.

Now, about that cocktail.

I'm afraid that I just have a bundle of stirrers and nothing with which to stir.

Sorry.

I have if you like.

Thanks, but no. I brought a funnel and I think I'll just guzzle drinks through that if thats OK.

So, no darts, no stirrers. What is this place anyway?

Hey look, a jukebox!

No...

No...

Backstreet boys! What kind of musty collapsed ruins is this?!?

Ahh!

Radiohead! idioteque.

That'll do nicely.

*wakes up after a 5 day bender*

Whoa!



What happened? my mouth tastes like leather.

Ahh, hair of the , what better way to recover.

Where is everyone?

More importantly, where are my clothes?



I see a bathtub full of baked beans, a 6 ft unicycle and hovercraft. At least it looks like it was a good party.

Well, time to go, before someone gives me the bill.

*wakes up after a very very long sleep* hey! wehre did the beach go? wheres my towel, and who's traffic cone is this?

hmm... I last posted in this thread on April 19th 2004 - I think I'm lost

F63252?thread=107986&post=5197028&show=1

it's stopped raining

Without going back to check I have a vague memory of being on a desert island with carnivourous coconuts which nobody could spell.

yesh yesh, there were carniverous coconuts, a beach, a bar, a cocktail bar, a sea, and sharks in the sea, someone had send the sharks out to get me but I excapes, we had a shed, with strange things being invented in it, and a relaly big hole was being dug, so we could go straight through to the USA, and hence eliminate the problem of time zones I remember Oh a whisky sour you say? don't mind if I do

I've had a great idea.

Shark skiing

First we catch some sharks, then tie ropes to them, affix long pieces of wood to our feet....

Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

Now that sounds like a reight fine plan to me.... just as soon as I've investigated this bar over here.... just you mind, to check out what they do...

Oh go on then, I'll have awhile we think up the best way to catch a shark.

funny relaly.... this bar... just being kinda stuck out of the middl eof this sandy thing under our feel... oh... the beach

*Pokes head back through door*

Hmm... shark skiing.

Sounds like pointless, reckless, fun.

I'm in!


But first...
...

Ahh, thats better.

So, about this time zone thing...

Yeh, theres like these zones and there differnt and tiume is differnt in em each.... let me demonstrate *gets two pints of beer.
*puts one pint puts on the bar.
*runs over the beach.
*puts the ohter pint on a rock the other side of the beach.

*runs back to bar and drinks beer*

*runs over to rock with beer on it and drinks that beer*


*runs back see? I think that analagy kinda worked to explain it... or should I demonstrate again

Wait, so if I drink a beer here ... , and one here , did I drink them at the same time or a different time?

And what happens at the zero hour of the switchover of daylight saving?

If you run around, at that time can you drink three pints simultaneously?

I can drink three pints simultaneously , watch...











Mmm, tasty. What did I do that for again? something about sharks?

*Arrives on beach in small boat wearing large piratical hat*

Well, this is an unusual place, isn't it.

*Strokes luxurient beard*

So, what the heck's actually going on here.

We're simplifying temporal metaphysics to include the simultaneous imbibement of many alcohols.

Now, if I get drunk * swig* then cross the international date line, do I get a hangover before I start drinking