h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

we mostly just kill sparky
I think he likes it

Thanks , I wouldn't want to make a hideous social faux pas by killing the wrong person that would be bad

You guys are mean.

no, I'm not, I'm really quite nice, try some of my it hasn't got pickled eggs or anything in it

How nice! You know, if Persephone offered me I'd worry about it having pickled eggs or arsenic in it.

All you have to worry about is that was home made

I am very strict about cross contamination and all, so that's not a worry

still home made, it is only fair to warn you, I'm not good in the kitchen

You have already tried some?

I do apologise if you die, it was a completely innocent accidental death, just so you know

Do you want a job here? You'd be the first person to kill me BEFORE joining.

oo,well, I quite like my mysterious non- official status

still should things change I'll remember to highlight it on my cv

I s'pose applying for is out...

Well, we already have a bunch of penguin chefs, but if you kill the head chef, you can have his job. He's the emporer penguin... smug git... Here, you can borrow my pen if you need a weapon.

I wouldn't be able to make you an OFFICIAL member anyway. I never get the administrative codes from the last head, before I killed him. Ahh Kipper, you were a worthy adversary...

*never got

*takes pen*

back for analysis...

you know what this place is like, you can never leave

if/when Kipper comes back perhaps I can be official non-offical member

Feel free to ask him, but I killed him fairly desicively. If you want, I could knight you?

*produces a red lightsabre*

I've been practicing on penguins. I'm down to an 80% death rate!

Thanks but no, I am already a Jedi Knight on account of census form filling, two knighthoods would be over kill I think

but hey you keep practising there

Don't be ridiculous! I meant knight you as our chef! You don't "knight" Jedi Knights! You cut off their braids!

I'm not ousting your he does better than me for a start...

Come anywhere near my braids and you'll have my Patronus to deal with, you really wouldn't that

If you're a Jedi, why do you wear braids? That's a padiwan thing! LIAR!

*want* that

Hippy chick as it happens, we don't all wear uniforms, we just go with our individuality, keep up

A hippy Jedi? Wow, the war must have been hell for you...