h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is an huge Restaraunt on the 34th floor filled with tables and chairs.

*sits down*

*A Penguins sidles up to the table and puts a menu down it then waddles back to the kitchen*

Comes in and hangs round the door, hoping to be noticed by the maitre d'

*Another Penguin waiter marches across to the table Catachresis is sat at and puts a menu on the table, and leaves the room the first penguin returns to the room and Esquires what Persephone would like to order*

Looks at menu thoughtfully, underlining the most interesting dishes with red ink. Draws a chicken drumstick on the napkin.

*The second penguin reenters the room and esquires what Catachresis would like to order*

Points to the item that has been underlined four times, and looks meaningfully at the sketch of the chicken drumstick.

*The Penguin looks at the menu and says "An excellent choice" Snaps his fingers and a plate with the food of choice is brought in by two king penguins. "Enjoy your meal"*

Looks up from the wine list and across towards the door. Should he choose the Sancerre he can afford, or a bottle of Dom Perignon and another of Crystal to compare and contrast, and then make a dash for the exit when the time comes to pay the bill?

Those penguins don't look very quick on their feet.

He orders the champagne.

*Two King penguins bring out Champagne in an ice bucket*

Yum.

Hard to say which is best.

I wonder if Persephone would accept the offer of two glasses of champagne? Has word with one of the penguins.

*An emperor Penguin carries a tray with two glasses of champagne over to Persephone's table*
*Walks in and sits at a table*
Evening!
*Attracts the attention of a penguin*
The usual please

Chokes on mouthful of Dom Perignon, astonished that there could be anything usual in a restaurant where the waiters were penguins.

This isn't Mary Poppins you know!
Ah My food's Here
*Four penguins carry in a large plate of beef*

Wipes mouth with napkin, ruining drawing of drunstick. Sighs contentedly. Stops passing penguin and asks for the sweets trolley.

*The Penguin summons the sweet trolley*

Hmmm. Everything looks so delicious.

I couldn't make up my mind about the champagne, so I drank both bottles (less two glasses given away, of course).

Hmmm.

Orders one of everything.

*The penguin leaves the tolly where it is and puts a spoon on it*

*Look at menue*

Erm, chicken