h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Zeb: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHH!

Dimmy: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I LOVE the polka!



Dimmy: EVERYBODY GET OOMPAH!!



Dimmy: Ummh... sirs? Clutching your ears and shrieking is not part of the Beer Barrel Polka.



Zeb: FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY AFFY, STOP THE POLKA!!

[Janine looks murderous; FD Link manages to swing his swords at the lizards along to the polka. ]

[D'OH! Meant singular of "sword" ...]

* amid all the other noise, the fireball explodes, adding to the general chaos and causing nasty burns on any villians who happen to be standing close to the point of detonation *

* the penguin, flippers blocking earholes, starts to sing again *

Zeb(on floor, in pain): AAAAAAHHHH!!! MUST! STOP! THE MADNESS!!



Zeb: C'mon, c'mon! I KNOW I have it here SOMEWHERE... Ah-HA!!



Zeb: Hope the upgrades I made work...



<...nevertheless, Dimmy and Zeb are still dancing polka, as Affy's ray is still running...>

Zeb(dancing, hitting Chameleo-Sonic): Come ON you stupid modifications... WORK!!



Assorted Villains(as altered waves take effect): ..mumble... grr... huh?? uhhhh....mmmmmMOSH! MOSH! MOSH! MOSH!MOSH!MOSH!MOSH!MOSH!MOSH!MOSH!...



Zeb: CROWD SURF!! C'MON!!

[FD Link, who is STILL managing to somehow remaing upright with his fingers outside his ears, swings his sword at Dimmy to the polka beat, bringing an abrupt end to his bad singing. He then does the same to the penguin. ]

Too late, YK. because there is no more polka, and with Link being crowd-surfed/shocked, there is no chopping.

That was a simulpost, Dum-dum.


[Link is understandably not very happy about this, so he jumps into the air and starts hacking the Geckos to bits. Janine joins in with him.]

I KNOW it was a simupost... I was just asserting its lack of validity... geez, don't take it so peronally.

*UH drops through. he lands on a gecko, stunning it. and squashing it*

Zeb: Geez, finally... a hero WORTH fighting.

* the penguin is confused, so decides to get out of the way and see if any suitable openings for throwing fireballs present themselves *

[Mog enters and starts dancing to the Big Boss music from Super Mario RPG. Yaradovich (a robot), the five Axem Rangers, Bowyer (a bow-and-arrow ensamble), and Mack (a bizzare device whose sole function is to bounce) all run in. Each one rushes over to Zeb and pokes him. Then they all run out.]

[Janine] Mog, you have BIZZARE green magic!

*Affy, meanwhile, was somehow left alone by the moshing badniks. He whips out his pogo stick, and shuts off the polka gun. In the moment of confusion when the music stops, and the Gecko warriors feel the tensions of not dancing, Affy quickly spins his OmeGauntlet to the setting "Snowzar-Five Minutes", and blasts the villains in a wide stream that should even freeze the heroes trapped in the pit.

Thanks to the numerous fireballs from Penguin, the doors to the EFS have been melted open, revealing (of course) the EFS, complete with the two fuses. Hoping to not let a second go by, Affy jumps onto his pogo stick, and heads towards the fragile fuses*

[Mog, FD Link, and Janine follow in a similar fashion.]

[Mog] Kupo! Now what?

* the penguin pulls out his modified pogo stick and tries bouncing on one of the fuses, but it doesn't break. Puzzled, he bounces next to it and examines it *

[Penguin] Am I doing something wrong here or is this a different kind of fuse to the ones we broke last time?

Just out of curiosity, which heroes did I freeze along with the baddies? They can't really work here either, I'm afraid.


*Affy lands on the fuse, and bounces, without hering the expected shattering of the fuse*

Hmmm....that's odd....

*Affy leans closer to the fuse and examines it*

Aha! This one has a kind of plastic outer shell! Try and get it off....

*Affy begins sliding his sword under the shell, and attempts to remove it*

[Janine] This is a different kind.

Zeb(the hand puppet, not the ice-encased one): Hi. I'm Zeb. You might remember me from such battles as "A Titanic Battle", and "Hangar 5- no wait, Hangar Infinity!". While my popping up like this might seem a bit unorthodox, I can assure you there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for it: TIME TRAVEL! Yep. See, I was mucking around with the magic of the cosmos again, trying to open a portal to any time and place I wanted, letting me conduct a crimewave unopposed. Unfortunately, I have very little control over where my portals lead, and they're also a bit small for my purposes. Emar can't get through.

Emar(from inside portal, unseen): Will you just ask him where we ARE already?!

Zeb: Don't you mean WHEN we are?? Eh? Eh?

Emar: Just ask him, please.

Zeb: Alright, alright, geez. So where are we...Afncaap?!!! AFNCAAP??!! WHAT ARE *YOU* DOING HERE?!



Zeb: Hey, COOL!! I must get my original form back at some point... of course, it's NOT so cool that SOMEbody just FROZE SAID FORM SOLID! EMAR!! PASS ME A CAN-O-WHOOPASS!

Emar: Sorry, Zeb. It won't fit through the portal with my arm-..er, YOU in there as well.

Zeb: Well, pass me something that WILL fit.



Zeb: YEH! YEH!! YEHHHHH!!!

<...Begins whacking Affy and Janine repeatedly, ah-la Punch and Judy.>

[Janine swipes the club and hits Zeb over the head with it. This has the side effect of hurting Emar's hand]