h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<Zeb and Dimmy stand in the midst of the cavernous halls of... - Hey Krymla, what does this area look like, anyway? Huge conduits, or something? - waiting for the action to begin... >

Zeb(simmering down after unpleasant discovery of cheap new Cans...): ... motha(*radio*edit*) sonofa... *huff*gasp*... daggum krabblefragger... *gasp*... *BEEP*in'... *huff*gasp*huff*huff*... *huff*...












Zeb:...blast.

Only one part of the important machinery is visible, and that's at the very end of your sector. But for the record, there are many poles that tiny Ampton lookalikes continue sliding up and down, as well as crystaline life forms that slowly move around, looking for intruders. Not to mention some Shikadi, the guys who were involved in most of the construction of this station. You're in the accessable section. None of the major conduits are visible, but you must protect the large machine carefully. It's already got several security doors guarding it, but doors never seem to stop heroes. They've got something against the right to privacy.

Gotcha. Wait, what's an Ampton? And refresh my memory on the Shikadi, please; I think I was introduced to them way back at the Hangar Infinity meeting with the brainy kid.

Never mind... Big Bad Werewolf just supplied me with the necessary background info.

Good thinking, Zeb.

<...Dimmy and Zeb are STILL guarding the energy systems, in case anyone was interested...>

You'll probably have quite some time to wait, Zeb. But just for fun, I'll send down some Gecko Warriors that you can punish.

Zeb: I'm ready! Bring 'em on, Krym de le Krym!

*Twenty Krylma warriors march through the entrance*

Zeb: Alrighty, time to see how rusty I am... YAAAAAAAA!!!...











Dimmy: Ummmh, sir, if your waiting for a ball of chi to belch forth from your hands, you don't do that, remember?

Zeb: Yeah, but sea's still got my Necronomicon, due to the Re-Working catching us in the middle of that "Titanic Battle". And, for your information, I can SOMETIMES fire chi blasts! I KNEW I shoulda spent more time reviewing those old StreetFighter ROMs! Now, lessee, was it toward-away-punch? Or away-down-toward-kick? Or sort of a rolling motion in the lower left corner followed by a heavy punch...







Zeb: Ahh, forget it. I'll just use the old standby...! MMPHH!!...

*Nineteen of the twenty warriors roll out of the way. The remaining one appears to be blown to pieces. In actuality, he was (for some reason) removed from our plane of existence to play a role in a giant cosmis game of chess. Had he actually been there, however, all signs say that he would have been blown to pieces*

Zeb: Yee-HAAAAAA! I guess the new Cans aren't THAT much weaker. Looks like I blew one to pieces!

Dimmy: Actually, I'm not sure I got the distinct impression that his essence was merely shifted into another plane, where he...

Zeb: Shut up, Dimmy.

Dimmy: Sir.

Zeb: Now lets get crackin'; 19 more gecko-things to go!

Dimmy: Actually sir, we may have to stop blowing them up farily soon. CHOPPERS ships have already arrived at the Outer Defenses.

Zeb: How would you know THAT?

Dimmy: When your can opened that brief hole in the Universe that the gecko dispeared through, I was able to get a glimpse through the tear and see a hazy vision of...

Zeb: Shut up, Dimmy. So guys, you think we should pause until the heroes arrive, or what?

Zeb:...oooooookay. I take your silence to mean that you agree with me, and that we are currently at truce while we wait for the heroes to get here. So they won't take us by surprise.

*an announcement comes over the PA system*

Hello, this is NYC. From this time on, please refrain from entering the security sector, despite your attraction to my incredible arsenal of shiny weaponry and my razor-sharp wit. If you do decide to enter the security sector you will be killed in a multitude of ways simultaneously, all being very VERY unreasonable and unnecessary to simply achieve death, which unfortunately will be quick enough to deny me the entertainment of telling you I told you so. Thank you for your attention, and please have a nice day.

*the PA system cuts off*

Zeb: PA systems. They must die.

*The door to the outer hall opens, and Afgncaap5 rolls in, blasting at all of the robots he can see with his Neural Stunner. Twelve Little Amptons fall to the ground, and two Shikadi are knocked unconcious*

They weren't good for anything anyway....

*Affy spies Zeb, Dimmy, and nineteen Gecko Warriors*

Oh, about time! This'll be our first real fight since NYC's security section!

I don't suppose you'll just *let* us destroy the Energy Flow System machine, will you? That'd really save all of us a great deal of trouble.

*Affy watches as a familiar looking sphere of energy explodes out of a ventilation duct and hits a Gecko Warrior. The warrior turns into a duck, and waddles away*

Well, I'll be. I was wondering where that spell went to....

* the penguin runs in after Affy, casts a large, screaming ball of blueish fire in the general direction of the Gecko Warriors and ducks against the wall to try to avoid being shot. *

[Penguin] Now this is much more my kind of thing!

* the fireball hits the ceiling before it gets to the Gecko Warriors, exploding and sending a wave of flame and a shockwave of hot air outwards in all directions, plus a rather impressive noise by way of accompaniment. It also completely trashes the nearby paintwork. *

[Penguin] Hah! See how you like that!

[Enter Janine, Link, and ... uh, that's about it. The only others were Mackenzie, who has broken (and then turned into a human); Mog, who has gone into emergency shutdown mode; and YK, who is trying to fix them. Janine draws her sword Slicer, and Link puts on the FD Mask, after first taking off the Deku Mask.]

[Janine] !

[FD Link] Here we go!

*Affy casts the Cleesh spell at the 18 Gecko Warriors, and grimaces when nothing happens to them*

Man, what were the odds that every single one of these would have lizard DNA in them? Oh, well, looks like I'll just have to resort to good ol' fashioned lazer dueling....

*Affy sets his OmeGauntlet to "Polka Gun-The Beer Barrel Polka", and fires at Zeb and Dimmy*

* the penguin follows up his fireball with another identical one, aimed a bit better this time *