h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

goldfish are short lived
so would not survive to a
golden jubilee



Next topic... obesity and Lego.

H.
PS, I *knew* what kind of flares you meant, that's why I used another kind...

lol

If I eat lego
Instead of big beef burgers
I won't be obese

nt: 'microwaves' and 'hitchikers'

Walking the highway,
Thumb out for a friendly lift,
Queen E. passes, waves.

Next: manure and staplers

I type the report
Bind it with the stapler
But it's still bulls**t

Next topics: conkers and dolphins

Dolphins do not play
Conkers very well without
Two opposing thumbs

nt: haircuts and toast

Now that I am shorn
Friends raise glasses in tribute
"Here's to your haircut!"

Next topics: sparrows and marrows

H.

I need a transplant;
Leukemia ravaged me.
Sparrow donor, please?

Next: carbon dating, hydrofoil

Only got a date,
Skimmning over waves, because...
I bought her diamonds

Next topic: assassins and asthma

H.

Narrowed all the pipes,
Taking my life breath away,
Killing air passage.

Next topic: Italy and pink

Kicking a pink ball,
Italy could win FIFA's
Ball design award.

Next topic: The Matrix and fishing.

Staring at the float
One attains that state of mind:
There is no spoon.

Next topic: hovercraft and loneliness.

H.

Bugger.

Staring at the float
One attains that state of mind:
KNOW there is no spoon.

Actual next topic: innumeracy and maple syrup

Discalculia;
Neuro takes time to learn well...
Sweet wig of the mind.

Next topic; Books and ferrets.

Never put a book
With a ferret, it will eat
Its words and smile.

Next topic: pigeons and Polos

You can fit a lot
Of nasty vermin with wings
In a Volkswagen

Next topics: porridge and enthusiasm

Gastronomic perks
Are disasterous for birds,
As are hit-and-runs.

Next topic; A toe and Belgium.

Enthusiasts in
Belgium eat too much porridge.
They have just one toe.

Next topic: The London Underground and 'France for the Cup!'

ahem.

H.

Simulpost!

(CP - surely you should be in bed?)

Cup of milk to oats,
Bright, the fortune of morning...
Leap upwards, go on!

Next topic: mice and grappling.